quick clicks

moms today articles

moms today q&a

community & groups

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Expert Q&A

	By Kate Cohen-Posey Therapist

I recently remarried and am now expecting a baby. How do I tell my 9-year-old daughter the news about our growing family?

Tell her she is going to have a baby sister or brother and get a feel for her general reaction. She may be very excited or she may appear upset. If she is upset do NOT try to reassure her. Find out what her concerns are. They may have nothing to do with feeling less important or feeling less a part of the family. She may not want to share space or attention or think she'll be stuck babysitting. Let her know that you want her ideas on how things should be set up even if you and her stepdad make the final decisions. Ask for her ideas on baby names, d袯r for the nursery, baby clothes, etc.

If she wants to be involved, this new addition can be her baby as much as yours. If she is not a baby person, she can leave all the baby stuff up to you. Assure her that whatever her level of interest in the baby is, it is OK. Thank her for teaching you how to be a good mom and that she has helped you already, regardless of the role she CHOOSES to take. Let her know, that if she wants, an older sister can play an extremely important role in a little person's life.

Because of the wide difference in their ages, you will really have two only children. By the time you have to cart your youngest around to activities, your daughter may be driving. The fact that you have asked how to keep your daughter from feeling left out is almost proof positive that you won't let her be."

View more Q&A by this Expert