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December 30, 2002
A Bittersweet Ending ~
How else could I start this entry but to say goodbye. I need to say Goodbye to the old year and to welcome in the new one, but it's not just that, it's so much more. I am also saying goodbye to babyhood and welcoming toddlerdom in at the same time.
It makes me sad just to write these words, but my beautiful baby Mackenna turns one today and is no longer my little baby. Where did the time go??
I try really hard to remember the weight of my little Mackenna as she was placed in my arms, the smacking sounds of her little mouth as she roots for a nipple to nurse from, the sweet smell (really, I swear) of those early breast-fed diapers, the soft downy hair on the top of her head that I rubbed my lips across and the contented little way that she would snuggle against my naked body for warmth. But the memories are harder and harder to come by, it's not that I want to forget, but slowly they are being replaced by new memories. Memories of her walking, then running, of her calling for MaaaaaMa, of seeing her little smile when I go get her from her crib, the feel of her warm little body when she tucks her arms down at her sides and snuggles her head into my shoulder and the way that she throws her arms up just knowing that I will pick her up, swing her around and kiss her chubby little cheeks.
It's hard for me to let go, knowing that by letting go of her baby days, I'm letting go of mine as well. Since three seems to be the magical number for us, she is my last baby, no more will I be able to announce the news that I am pregnant, never again will I carry another child in my womb, or deliver another miracle or hear the announcement IT'S A GIRL (It's always a girl in our house ~ LOL!). Yes the baby days are gone and it's kind of bittersweet, but look out world, cuz here comes Mackenna, heading for toddler days, temper tantrums, timeouts, potty training and big girl beds, of course, all in due time......all in due time.
Our Holidays were magical (thanks Dawn) ~
Although Germ has had to work, I have been off with the girls and we have had a ball. We've laughed, played, fought, baked, napped, decorated and crafted ~ whew ~ I think we've done it all. I am off again this week (except for Thursday) so we plan on doing more of the same and some of just nothing at all. To sum it up, it's been magical!!
Mackenna enjoyed her first Christmas, though I have to say that she slept through most of it, she helped unwrap about two of her presents then wanted to sit and stand on the rest. We skipped her and let Kimmi and Lexi take over. In our family, we unwrap our presents one at a time and you have to guess what's inside each package. It definitely takes a lot more time, but it's worth it to see each gift and the joy that the hoped for item brings. Once again, the girls were not disappointed and neither were we, Christmas was a success, albeit a small one as we really scaled back this year, but no one seemed to mind or even notice.
Kimmi was so excited and received the coveted baby doll stroller complete with infant car seat, but was very upset that I did not wear appropriate pajamas as Santa "sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake." I kid you not, I was lectured by a three year old regarding my raggedy apparel and she really said that to me. LOL!!
Lexi was also excited and this year insisted that she pick out her Christmas outfit as I don't buy her what she really wants. I guess that this is just the start, but I thought that somehow I would at least appear cool to a 7 year old.
My brother and I took the kids and made each of my parents a Christmas gift this year, we had such a blast and the kids could not wait for my Mom to open hers (my Dad lives out of State). We took the kids (6 of them) to Fingerspainting (a paint your own ceramic shop) and made my Mom and Dad large Coffee mugs.
For my mom, we used the kids fingerprints to make bugs, Mackenna's fingertips were used up the handle to make a caterpillar, Lexi's thumb prints were made into bumble bees, Kimmi's thumb prints were made into ladybugs, my nieces' thumb prints were butterflies and flowers and my nephew's thumbprint was a spider. While it was my idea to actually make the gifts, my brother and SIL are the artistic ones that actually created the masterpieces.
The mug that we made for my dad was completely my brothers idea, we painted the girls' (the 4 older ones) lips with different color paints and then had them "kiss" the rim to make it look like lipstick. Mackenna's thumbprint was used on the handle and then my nephew dipped his entire hand in paint and held the bottom of the mug and his fingerprints came up the sides and around the bottom. My brother wrote the following: in the middle of the mug it says "Grampy each time you drink from this cup, you touch the lips of those that love you", on the handle it says "hold my hand" and on the bottom it reads "Papa, when your cup gets too heavy, I'll hold it for you". How cool is that??
It was adorable, the kids acted like they presented my mom with the winning Powerball ticket and they almost floated when she was so choked up she started to cry. I guess next year, we will have to think of something even better......hmmmm.....any ideas??
I wanted this entry to be about Mackenna and have seemed to move off the subject a little, so I will close this for now and write again soon regarding my resolutions for the New Year.
H A P P Y F I R S T B I R T H D A Y M A C K E N N A !!!!!!! I love you more than you will ever know and nothing you will ever do will make me stop loving you.
Till next time,
Stephanie
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