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January 15, 2004
Saying Goodbye ~
Sometime during the early morning hours on January 1, 2004 my 34 year old sister-in-law passed away in her sleep.
She was physically and mentally ill for a long time and while her death was sudden, it was not unexpected. It was, for lack of a better term, a long time coming and everyone who knew her thought and said the same thing.
I could not and cannot mourn her passing, she was a mean, spiteful, vindictive person who found joy in others anguish. She found pleasure in the pain that she caused our family and relished the power that she had over my brother. Because she felt that we (meaning my family and any others close to my brother) were competition, we were not allowed to have any contact with them. Any friends that my brother had before or even after she came along were alienated and no longer allowed to see them.
I did not like her (even from the beginning ~ must have been that sister sixth sense) and felt like my attending her funeral was a farce, but I did attend to lend support to my brother and the rest of my family. My family gathered around my brother and supported him from the very second we found out. Germ, my wonderful, quiet, gentle husband, took over the reins and planned her funeral. Saying that does not give credit to the job that he did, he talked to my brother and her family at length, then he talked to the ministers, the coroner, the mortuary and the crematorium. He organized the flowers and the food for after the service and started a memorial fund at the Dumb Friends League. He washed and ironed the clothes and blanket that she was to be cremated in and delivered them to the mortuary. He did it all and took care of everyone, but all along he stated that he did not do it for her, he did it for my brother. My oldest brother gave her Eulogy and did a beautiful job, it was such a hard task to say nice things about someone that you don’t like and I told him afterwards that he was Hercules. (Remember the brother who held up the rest of the babies in utero? They called him Hercules).
My middle brother (he is 34 also) is a very loyal, honorable person and would never have left his wife. He told me himself that he made a vow to her and himself when they were married and no matter how hateful and hurtful she was, he would keep that vow and he did. I only want the best for my brother and hope that you will keep him in your thoughts and prayers as he figures out how to pull his life back together.
While I know that I am rambling along here, I just needed to write this down and be done with the whole thing. We all need to move on and put the past behind and I hope that she finally found the peace that eluded her here.
Stephanie
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