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February 8, 2003
Sunday, February 8, 2004
Aidan - 23 months, 2 weeks
Although Aidan's 2nd birthday isn't for a couple more weeks, I thought now would be a good time to share his birth story with all of you. The following is the letter I wrote to our friends and family just a little over a week after his birth. I have added a few details, which you can identify by the brackets I have put around them. I hope you enjoy the story of how we became a family of three.
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Sent: Friday, March 08, 2002
Subject: Aidan's Birth Story
Dear friends and family,
Let me begin by thanking all of you for your TREMENDOUS outpouring of love and support to Toby, Aidan and I in these last few days. I cannot begin to tell you how much it has meant to us and our families, knowing how much we were being cared for in so many ways. From phone calls to flowers to cooking and cleaning for us, to physically being near Toby and I when so much was uncertain, it has truly been made known to us that God has blessed us with a community that loves us more than we could even imagine.
Well, obviously a lot has "gone down" in the last week or so. I guess I would have to say that it started with my noticing that I was growing progressively tired, swollen and "yucky" feeling during the week of the 18th-22nd, though things started to really go downhill on the 23rd, the morning of the baby shower. I woke up around 4 am with a BAD stomach ache, feeling queasy etc. [I was surprised by this, as I had not experienced any morning sickness at the beginning of my pg, and didn’t understand why I would feel so sick THEN, at 35 weeks.] This subsided by the time the shower began, although I was surprised by how tremendously tired and swollen I was, though all I had done all day was sit down. The same routine happened on Sunday morning as well, though at this point the stomach pain and nausea was bad enough I put a call in to the Doctor on-call. He told me to make sure I saw my Doctor the next day, and to take it easy and rest (no problem there!).
For some reason on Sunday, I also decided to get on the internet and look at the symptoms of preeclampsia/toxemia. My maternal grandmother, aunt and cousin all suffered from this potentially life-threatening syndrome to one degree or another while pregnant, and my Mom had warned me many times throughout my pregnancy to keep a look out for its symptoms and to make sure I took them seriously if they occurred.
Anyhow, I looked up the symptoms of preeclampsia on the Internet, and found a site with a list of the following symptoms ... swelling in hands, feet and face (check!), nausea (check!), drowsiness (check!), pain in the upper abdomen (check!). Needless to say, this concerned me that I was experiencing so many of these symptoms, and after waking up AGAIN on Monday morning feeling terrible, I made sure I had a Doctors appt. for that afternoon.
[Everything going on was further complicated by the fact that I was giving my student’s a final that day (Monday), which they were to have finished the next day. I was also to give them their final grades at the end of the week, which I had not finished calculating yet! Thankfully, my Principal had already hired the substitute teacher who was to take over my class when I went on Maternity leave. We were able to have this sub come into my classroom on Monday before I left for my Doctor’s appointment, so that I could show him the final, and how to administer it. Of course, I thought he was only going to be there for 1-2 days that week. I had no idea he was actually going to take over the class for the next few months! ALSO, Toby had gone out of town to do some field work on Sunday, so he was 4 hours away when I went in to see my Doctor. Thankfully, my brother was living with us at the time, so he was able to take me to school (I didn’t feel well enough to drive!), and he stayed there with me until it was time to take me to my Doctor’s appointment.]
The first sign I had that my OB was concerned was when I saw his head snap around when the nurse told me I had gained 6 lbs since my appt. the week before. [I also started to realize there was a problem with my BP, which is normally VERY low when Dr. K said it was a little high, and they were going to have me lie down for 5 minutes and take it again. They turned down the lights in the room, and let me try to relax by myself. I practiced the relaxation techniques I had been learning in my Bradley childbirth classes, but I realized my heart was still REALLY racing, almost as if I had been running.]
By the end of the appt., Dr. K told me a) I had preeclampsia, b) I needed to be on bed rest at least until the next day (no phone calls, no T.V., no nuthin') c) due to the fact that once you have preeclampsia it doesn't go away, I wasn't going to be returning to work until after the baby was born. My head was DEFINITELY spinning at that point. So, after going to the lab at the hospital for some blood work he had ordered, I went to bed.
[It’s interesting, but the first thought I had when I learned I was on bed rest was for my students. I was sad that I wasn’t going to get to say good-bye to them before I had the baby, and I was really concerned that I hadn’t been able to make ANY plans for the substitute teacher who would be taking over for me. I should also mention that Toby got back into town while I was in the Doctor’s office, and was the one who drove me over to the Hospital to get the blood work done. Needless to say, he was shocked when I told him I would not be going back to work!]
Unfortunately (or very fortunately, as I would find out later), my stomach started to REALLY hurt again by 10 p.m., and I knew I wasn't going to be able to rest as Dr. K had ordered until the next morning. [It felt like I was getting stabbed in my stomach, and I found myself crawling on the floor, trying to make the pain go away. The only thing that helped was sitting in the shower, and letting warm water run over my belly.] So, I put a call in to him, which he very promptly returned, telling me to come to the hospital. He later told me had been talking to one of the nurses about whether or not to call me when his pager went off with my phone call. Apparently, he was very concerned, but he didn’t want to wake me up if I was resting. God was DEFINITELY protecting me, as we now know if he had waited until morning to call, the outcome of all of this would have been VERY different indeed.
When Toby and I arrived, Dr. K explained that he was concerned with the results of that afternoons' blood work, so we immediately did more blood work, which showed that my platelet count was down to 58,000 (it should be about 250,000) and my liver function was wacked out as well. After a brief discussion about what was going on, Toby asked, "So, we're not leaving the hospital without the baby?” to which Dr. K responded in the affirmative. Talk about being surprised! And an hour later, at 3:16 am, Aidan William K*** was born. He weighed 5 lbs. 6 ounces and was 19 ½ inches long. Not bad for being born 5 weeks early!
[I think it is very important to mention that the decision to have the C-Section was MINE. I was given the option of being induced at that time, and trying for a vaginal birth. I felt that there was NO WAY for me to keep my blood pressure under control under those circumstances, considering it was already so high. No one pressured me into having major surgery, and because I hadn’t been induced, I had no feelings of having my body fail me. I strongly believe that b/c my OB treated me with respect, gave me CHOICES, and allowed me to make the decisions that I felt were right for ME, I am able to look back on this birth with NO feelings of regret, disappointment or shame.]
The C-Section went quickly and extremely well. Aidan did great, and was "vigorous" at birth, as they say. After letting me hold him and kiss him, he was whisked away to the NICU to be more closely observed. I was feeling much better (being numb from the chest down will do that to a person), and SO happy that Aidan was doing well. Of course, we now know I was starting to take a nose-dive.
Although I had been given Magnesium to help bring my blood pressure down, which causes extreme drowsiness, the next round of blood work showed that my platelet’s had continued to fall, and were now at 21,000. We later found out that a person's blood will fail to clot around 20,000 (yikes!). It was then decided that I should be transferred to the ICU for more careful observation.
On my way to the ICU, I was able to go to the NICU and hold Aidan for a little while. Being able to hold him next to my skin, and see and feel him respond to being held by me was a magical experience. (His tense little body completely relaxed during the 5 short minutes I was able to hold him.) HOW do babies know their Mommies like that?!
[I should also mention that between the time I left the O.R., and was taken to the ICU, there are large chunks of time I have absolutely no recollection of. There are pictures of me in the Hospital bed, surrounded by my family and our closest friends, and I have NO memory of seeing them whatsoever, even though in the pictures my eyes are open. Obviously I was very, very sick.]
I spent the next 24 hours in the ICU, during which time I was given a platelet infusion. Although I had no idea how bad I was doing physically (Dr. K and Toby did an excellent job of protecting me so that I wouldn't worry), I personally feel like I started to do better after the infusion. It was at this time that Toby was told that Aidan had a benign puncture on his lung. The Doctors said that they normally seal up on their own, but there was a chance that it could open up, causing the lung to collapse. Poor Toby ... I really think he felt like he could lose his entire family in one fell swoop. Still, he held it together for me, and I never knew how scared he was until after the fact. Thankfully, the puncture DID seal up, and although I was still very sleepy from the Magnesium, my appetite returned and I started to feel well enough to chat with the ICU nurse. By midnight on Tuesday, I was really wanting to be transferred back to the Maternity ward so I could start spending time with Aidan. Thankfully, my blood work started to show enough improvement throughout the day and into the morning hours (they took so much blood ... at one point I counted EIGHT "puncture wounds"!) that Dr. K had me transferred back on Tuesday morning.
The rest of the week was spent resting and recovering, walking very, very gingerly back and forth from my room to the NICU, holding and feeding Aidan and just getting to know him. The nurses at the Hospital were absolutely amazing, "teaching" Toby and I how to take care of Aidan, giving all three of us an unbelievable amount of individual attention, help and encouragement. I really don't know what we would have done without them.
[I was particularly thankful for the nurses dedication to helping me learn how to BF. They only asked me one time if I was planning on breastfeeding, and as soon as I said yes… BOOM … they were off to get the breast pump so that I help bring my milk supply in while I was in the ICU and couldn’t be with Aidan. Whatever I was able to pump, they made sure it was taken up to the NICU for Aidan. I needed a lot of help at first, and they were right there with me, giving me pointers on everything from how to help Aidan latch on correctly to finding the most comfortable position for Aidan to nurse.]
Each day I felt better and better, and on Saturday the 2nd we were able to go home. There had been some question about whether or not Aidan would be able to come home with us, depending on how well he was eating, so we felt so blessed and thankful that we did not have to leave the hospital without him. God truly continued to bless us through all of this!
It's been almost a week since we've come home, and things could not be going better. Aidan is growing stronger and stronger, I continue to feel better every day, and we are all really starting to get into the groove of being a family. Toby DEFINITELY gets the "Dad/Husband of the Year" award in my book. He actually seems to LIKE changing diapers, and has helped out with every single aspect of taking care of Aidan 110%. I am just in awe of what a natural he is at all this. I actually feel like I need to take lessons from HIM.
We have especially seen God’s completely loving, faithful and sovereign hand in all of this, sustaining and protecting us, guiding us, our family and our Doctors through all of this. In the hospital, I was reminded of the following words to one of the songs we sing at church ...
"Favor on my life
Always watching over me
My darkness turned to light
And heaven's arms enfolding me
Haven't you been good?
Haven't you been so good to me!"
Though things were certainly scary and uncertain, and we wouldn't want to go through it again, Toby and I truly believe that God has been so good to us.
With All Our Love,
Rebekah, Toby and Aidan
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I think if there's anything that I would want you to learn from my experience, it is to INFORM yourself. If I hadn't looked up the symptoms I was having on the Internet, I wouldn't have had any idea how sick I actually was. I honestly believe that I saved my own life, as well as Aidan's.
I also think Aidan's birth is a good example of how you can have a positive birth experience, even when things don't go the way you had planned. I believe this is largely due to the fact that all along the way, I felt that I had a voice in the decisions that were made. My thoughts and opinions were respected, and no one "railroaded" me into doing anything I wasn't comfortable with.
Also, I learned that a C-Section can be a beautiful experience. We requested that Toby be the one to tell me whether the baby was a boy or a girl, and his exclaiming "It's a BOY!" will forever be one the best memories of my life. While I absolutely plan on having a VBAC next time around, if that doesn't happen and I have another C-Section, I know that I can have a personal, peaceful birth again.
I know this is long, so if you've made it all the way through, thank you! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and reactions to Aidan's birth and to continuing to get to know all of you better.
Dios Te Bendiga,
Rebekah
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