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December 12, 2003
I’ve finally finished an entry all about Ella’s first year — the real stuff—the vacations, the family visits, holidays, birthdays and more. I promise to try to control my urge to write about everything in detail (even though I probably won’t be able to!). I was tempted to try to lump the highlights of her entire first year and a half of life into this one entry, but it was getting way too long and I was getting way too overwhelmed to finish it. So, please bear with me while I try not to bore you to tears with the minutiae of Ella’s first year (only).
Back to 2002…
Ella’s First Sail—Our Second Anniversary Sailing Trip
Shortly before Labor Day weekend of 2002, we partnered with our friend Dave, his wife and his parents to buy a sailboat, and it’s safe to say our end of the deal is pretty damn sweet. Here’s how it worked out: Dave and Matt co-owned our last sailboat, a 26-foot Thunderbird—perfect for campy cruises throughout the Puget Sound with up to four people, and Dave’s parents borrowed it once in awhile while they were learning to sail. A year or so ago, Dave sold his cellular company and he and his parents made quite a nice chunk of change. They decided it would be great to have a bigger boat, one that would accommodate larger groups for extended trips, one that would be good for kids, one that had headroom, etc. So, they proposed to buy the boat, and knowing we couldn’t afford to go in on the purchase directly, offered to allow us to partner with them in return for supervising the maintenance and covering the moorage expenses. It’s an even sweeter deal because Dave and his wife live in Montreal, and his parents are constantly traveling, which leaves us with one hell of a boat practically all to ourselves.
A few nights before Labor Day weekend, we broke it in on Lake Washington with my friend Jamil and my brother Rob along for the ride. Ella did very well on deck in her Baby Bjorn, and also seemed to like the forward cabin’s v-berth with the “skylight”. She fell asleep on the way home, and didn’t even wake up in the car (have I mentioned how much she has ALWAYS hated the car?). It seemed like she was made to sail (as she should be, considering she was made on a boat!).
Our big Labor Day weekend/anniversary sail didn’t go quite as well, however. We decided to make the daytrip to Bainbridge Island, which is usually a lovely, quick jaunt across the Sound, but Ella and I spent a little too much time down below—changing poopy diapers and nursing out of the bright and sunny cockpit. Bad idea. We both got seasick. Ella did her share of spitting up (which was pretty common those days), and I felt like joining her. We pulled into Winslow in time for dinner, and Ella and I recovered nicely once we got some fresh air and a nap. We tried to go to our favorite pub on the island, but we were turned away due to Washington’s idiotic state law banning babies from taverns. Give me a break. Thanks lawmakers. We would have let our infant get snockered if you hadn’t stopped us from going into that tavern. I see the flip side, that of the patrons not wanting to sip their beers to the tune of baby screams and toddler food-fights, but I still don’t think the government needs to make that rule for us. Washington has lots of weird liquor laws, and even after living here for almost 8 years they still annoy me to no end.
Anyway, we ended up having a nice meal at the restaurant in the marina and Ella slept/nursed in my arms under a blanket the entire time. During our meal, we realized it was the first time we’d braved a meal out together (just the three of us) since Ella was born. We’d been out with other people, but not just us, and it felt really wonderful to share something we love doing together again after three long months. Lounging, which had become so rare, over a nice meal and good wine was a lovely way to spend our second anniversary.
The next day we visited with some friends who live on the island, ate a yummy lunch at Café Nola, took naps on the boat, bought groceries, and made supper in the galley. It turned into a nice relaxing day and evening, and we were rested and ready to sail the next day. Unfortunately, the winds in the Sound were too strong, and Matt didn’t feel confident enough in our new boat to hoist the main sail alone. Ella seemed unhappy with the wind in her face and generally dissatisfied to be on the boat, and I wasn’t about to spend the whole time down below in such high seas. Halfway to Shilshole Bay, the engine cut out when it took in some air on a large swell. Matt was totally stressed about the prospect of having to sail to the gas docks, Ella was screaming, and I was exhausted. Needless to say, it wasn’t the nice romantic sail we’d been dreaming of, but it was an adventure. The engine fixed itself, which is supposedly a rarity among engines, and we managed to get through the locks and back to Lake Union in about 3 1/2 hours—pretty good time for Labor Day Monday.
California Girl
With a ton of relatives living in California, Ella visited the Golden State twice before her first birthday: once in September of 2002 to visit her grandparents and great grandparents and then again in May of 2003 to visit her great grandparents, extended family and one of my dearest friends in San Diego. When Ella was three months old, my parents were in the process of moving from Barbados to Romania, and is customary with any of their moves they visit their families in California between postings. So, Ella and I flew down to Riverside to introduce her to all of our extended family and visit with my parents while they were in the States. Ella stole everyone’s heart, especially my paternal grandfather’s, and we had a great time getting a break in our early routine. My parents flew back to Seattle with us, a huge help on the plane, and visited for a few more days before heading on to Europe. We had a great time going sailing, shopping, eating and just generally fawning over the baby for hours every day.
In May, we had a free ticket that needed to be redeemed, and Matt and I decided the best way to use it would be to take Ella to visit my ailing grandfather. So, I packed up all of her stuff (I’m still amazed by the sheer abundance of gear required in this day and age to take a five day trip with a baby!), and we flew to LAX.
I hate LAX. I particularly hate it with a 10 month old in a sling, a huge roller suitcase, a Pack n’ Play, a car seat and a backpack. And I really, really hate having to take a bus to the rental car place with all of said things, stand in line and then cart all my stuff two city blocks to the car. The biggest hurdles of that trip were the long car rides. Ella is one of the few children of the world who refuse to sleep in the car, you know, the ones who would rather scream… I drove from LAX to Temecula (2 hours) the first day, up to Riverside and back to Temecula (2.5 hours roundtrip) the second day and down to San Diego (2 hours in rush hour) the third day—what a thrill. Luckily, Ella doesn’t hold a grudge and perked up quickly whenever we made it to our destination. She charmed the pants off her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, and was a huge hit with my friend Shana and her girlfriends in San Diego. By the end of our 5-day trip though, I realized how much I appreciate the few minutes of downtime I get everyday with Matt around to play with Ella.
Hawaiian Vacation
When Ella was five months old, we made her first trip to the Big Island of Hawaii to visit her Auntie Jill (Matt’s sister), Uncle Guy and three cousins, Marina, Lauren and Lana. Ella did admirably well on both legs of our travel, sleeping like a lamb and barely crying at all. I put her in the Baby Bjorn and carted her up and down the aisles while everyone smiled and cooed at her, and Ella ate it up, flirting, smiling and sticking her pointy tongue out at everyone we encountered.
The year before our trip, Marina, Jill’s eldest daughter, entered the Miss Kona Coffee Pageant on a whim and won the crown. After a fun yet unsuccessful attempt at Miss Hawaii earlier that summer, Marina spent the first few days of our visit preparing for the pageant where she would pass on her title, and we were all excited to see her in the limelight. Our first few days on the island were spent in Kona, and then we ventured north to Waikoloa for a stay at the Hilton where the pageant was taking place. Guy and Jill own time-share in a condo, and they use it in Kona when visitors are in town. While we were there, they all camped out with us at the condo for a few days which was a great way to spend tons of time together and get everyone in the vacation mood. Our first few days were filled with eating, catching up and fawning over Ella. Guy, who is one of the island’s most renowned charter fisherman, took Matt fishing, and we all spent a lot of time at the pool. Taking Ella to the pool for the first time was certainly a highlight. Considering how cold the water felt at first, we thought Ella handled her first swimming experiences amazingly well—certainly telling of the blossoming fish she is today.
On Halloween, everyone got dressed up and went to Jill’s church for a big festival-style party. They had cheap food, giveaways, Hula dancers and lots of cute kids dressed up for trick or treating. Ella wore a headband with little kitty ears and a onesie in Halloween colors (it was hard to find anything on the mainland that wouldn’t be too hot for a Hawaiian Halloween—they make all those infant costumes to be worn at night in the freezing cold of October). I put her in the Bjorn, donned a pink wig that Jill loaned me, and we were set. Ella did remarkably well at the festival, but towards the end she couldn’t take it anymore and I had to walk her around in the darkened, quiet(er) parking lot with a pacifier in her mouth. Everyone was astonished that she didn’t fall asleep, saying that whenever other babies are in that sort of over-stimulating environment they just pass out. No, not Ella…
The next day we headed up to Waikoloa where we met the girls for a nice lunch at Roy’s before getting settled in our new hotel rooms for Marina’s big pageant. Surrounded by water, lush vegetation and long walkways filled with amazing artwork, the Waikoloa Hilton was an amazing place to stay, and while we were there I kept thinking, “This is Ella’s first hotel experience…” That night, we enjoyed an outdoor dinner buffet before the show, and then, following a lot of flirting and cuddling, Ella nursed to sleep while I sat on a bench overlooking the sunset and a waterfall. Ahhh. She ended up sleeping in her car seat under my chair during the entire pageant. Marina impressed everyone with her lovely dancing and calm composure on stage, but some of the other girls left me wondering how on earth they had come that far. Jill and Guy were very nervous and brimming with pride whenever Marina took the stage. Watching them made me think about all the events Ella will participate and perform in as she grows up, all the times Matt and I will sit in the audience or stands and watch her with admiration and pride. It’s so exciting to think about the kind of girl and woman she will be become. Will Ella be a beauty queen or a cheerleader? Will she prefer sports or become a drama queen? I’m secretly hoping she doesn’t want to play soccer–I think it’s THE most boring game to watch! And in Seattle where it’s always raining and cold, soccer season is in the height of the crappy weather. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t get stuck standing in the rain next to a muddy field, but if it happens I’m sure I’ll be too excited for her to care very much.
The next day we spent all day with the girls (Lauren, Lana, Jill and Marina) by the hotel’s stunning pools. One flowed into the next with connecting waterslides, sandy beaches, and waterfalls--sheer heaven. Ella went in a couple more times and even went “under” very happily several times. It was so luxurious for me to feel 100% confident that Ella was safe and happy with her cousins and Auntie, and I was able to get some swimming in by myself as well.
Our last full day was spent driving up to Waimea (the town where Matt went to school), browsing around some shops and having lunch at a traditional Hawaiian café. We were supposed to go back to Kona to hang out with Jill and Lana in the afternoon, but Matt and I couldn’t bear the thought of not going to the beach at least once. So, we quickly suited up and headed over to the public beach for an hour or two. We couldn’t go all the way to Hawaii and not go to the beach, right?
We did make the trip to Kona that evening; however, and we enjoyed a lively night of yummy fresh fish for dinner, singing and dancing in the living room and lots of long faces when it was time to say goodbye. The trip home was uneventful and full of naps all around, and although we were sad to say goodbye, it was surprisingly nice to get home. Personally, that has been my reaction whenever I take a trip with Ella: I’m always sad it’s over but getting back into my nice, boring routine sounds splendid after the break!
On a related note, Guy caught an ahi for us before we arrived, and we ate a bunch while we were there and took some home with us as well. It was such a treat considering fresh ahi goes for $20/lb in Seattle, and it made me incredibly sad to think that Ella may not enjoy fresh wild fish as an adult—to think we are coming dangerously close to extinction, particularly the big fish like tuna, marlin and ono that can’t be farmed.
Thanksgiving in Monroe
We spent Ella’s first Thanksgiving with Matt’s dad Jack, his stepmother Patty and Patty’s children and their spouses and children. Her son and his wife, John & Christine, hosted the feast at their house in Monroe, about 45 minutes outside of Seattle. Ella was such an angel all day long; charming the pants off her aunties, uncles, and grandparents, sleeping right through dinner, and giggling for everyone on demand. Her mood was such a blessing because she’d been sleeping horribly surrounding the holiday, waking up almost every hour. John and Christine put out quite a spread, and it was wonderful to go, eat, have dessert, visit with everyone and go home. No cooking, very little cleaning and no worrying about where to put the leftovers. I loved it.
Matt decided he really wanted to eat pie for Thanksgiving. So, we did a little online research and found recipes for pies made with honey. We made both a pumpkin and a chocolate cream (with tofu), and surprisingly the tofu chocolate was a smashing success. As I was ‘whipping’ the tofu, I literally thought I was going to gag. I said again and again, “There is no way I’m eating this.” But then when it was chilled and in Matt’s fantastic piecrust (his Granny’s recipe), I couldn’t resist trying it. I’m still amazed at how good it was. I’m sure we’ll be having it again every year.
The Thanksgiving highlight was by far and away Ella’s first word: mama. I couldn’t have been more thankful for anything in the world. She’d been working on it for a few days, but it wasn’t until Thanksgiving Thursday that she actually started repeating it again and again. She would only say it when she was unhappy or tired and always with the cutest little pout on her face smacking her lips up and down. It was oh-so-cute.
A Family Christmas
The holidays were busy and hectic and very fun last year. Matt’s mom and step-dad, Shari & Steve, arrived on the 17th and stayed through the 23rd, which we all felt was the perfect amount of time. We got to spend quality time together, oogle Ella, and they left before everyone became tired of one another. We spent our time with Shari and Steve taking walks, shopping and EATING. My mom sent a ton of presents for everyone, including several boxes of candy, and before we knew it Shari and I had eaten enough to make ourselves sick. The Sunday before they went home we decided to have an early Christmas celebration with a big rib roast dinner and present opening in the evening. Ella was so cute with her gifts—tearing the paper and ignoring the presents. It made us very excited for this year when she’ll actually be able to comprehend the notion of “presents.”
On Christmas day, we opened some presents with my brother in the morning and then drove to Sequim to spend the day with Matt’s dad and Patty (the same crowd from Thanksgiving was in attendance). It was a lovely, if not rather long, day, and we were grateful to spend the holidays with as much family as possible.
Our Swimmer Girl
From her very first bath, Ella made her love of water known to all within earshot. This kid is a fish. A very enthusiastic fish. I quickly did away with the baby bathtub and sink baths because I found it much easier to get in the tub with her, and she seemed to enjoy herself more when we were in the water together. I loved to prop her up against my bent knees and watch her eyes light up as the water splashed around her and the soap made her skin slippery and sweet. Despite taking well over 50 baths with Ella during her first few months, she only pooped on me once (I’m trying to put a good spin on that unfortunate incident)! Anyway, from her love of baths we knew she would enjoy swimming lessons, and enjoy them she did. Some babies look overwhelmed in the water, cold or scared or irritated, but Ella seemed to want to dive right under from the very beginning. The lessons we took were very basic and offered at a community pool. They admitted children ages 4 months to 3 years, which made it difficult to tailor the skills to any one age group—kicking off the wall just isn’t a skill a 6 month old can master. However, we spent valuable time in the water together, and Ella continually pushed me to try another skill. By the end of the session, Ella was holding herself up next to the wall, kicking her feet, eagerly allowing me to dunk and push her to another person, and splashing ALL the time.
We spent the majority of the summer doing some form of water activity, whether it was sailing, going to the beach, going to the lake, joining Jessica and Hana at her parent’s beach club pool or hanging out at one of the many wading pools in Seattle. Ella clearly lived for those afternoons in and near the water, and by the end of the season she was happily putting her face in the water, blowing bubbles and intently studying how the older kids were moving through the water.
My (Short) Solo Getaway
Shortly after Christmas, one of my closest friends from high school, Joahnna, informed me that she was getting married in Rhode Island in May, and after having her at my wedding I couldn’t wait to attend hers. There was a catch. Her wedding was the same weekend that Matt’s mom & Steve had planned to come up to Seattle to visit us (read Ella). So, I couldn’t very well take her with me. After an agonizing night of fighting about it with Matt and tossing and turning in bed, I woke up determined to make my first solo trip without my precious girl. I quickly went about buying my ticket: a redeye on Thursday night arriving Friday morning in time for the wedding that evening, and a flight back the following afternoon to get me home by Saturday night. Yes, I am psychotic, and no, the schedule was not fun. I also started planning how I was going to pump enough milk for her in my absence. As I’m sure I mentioned before, I had a difficult time managing my milk supply and pumping was always a chore. So, my friend Jen loaned me her electric pump and I started early, very early, ending up with stockpile suitable for a two week trip by the end of March.
Did you know that they no longer put electrical outlets on airplanes? I had no idea. Considering they were the only private places I encountered for hours and hours on my trip, I really wished I would have learned that little tidbit before only bringing the electric pump on the trip. Just picture me standing next to the row of sinks in the middle of a busy airport bathroom, cones on both boobs, trying to get a letdown amid stares and glares from women of all shapes, ages, and colors who must have thought I had completely lost my mind. “Why isn’t she doing that in the handicapped one-stall bathroom?” they may have been asking themselves... Well, if anyone had actually voiced that question, I could have replied that, for some idiotic reason, there aren’t any outlets in those bathrooms. Oh yeah, and I had to pump twice at the wedding (because of the time difference), and the only private room with an outlet happened to be the bride’s “getting ready” suite. Humiliating. Truly. I have no plans to pump again for a very, very long time.
Being a stay-at-home mom with virtually no family in town, this trip was not only the first trip I’d taken without her but also the first time I’d left her for someone else to put to sleep. I’d never been away from her for more than two waking hours. She had only taken a bottle 3 times! Of course Ella handled it beautifully, and remarkably, so did I. It was such a relief, one that I didn’t even know I was concerned about, to realize I can still turn off the mommy madness--the constant needs to meet, feedings, changings, naps. Being so wrapped up in it for almost a year, I wasn’t sure if I could still flip the switch and just be me for a few hours. It was actually fun, despite the chaotic hell of pumping in transit, and I was immensely grateful to have had the opportunity to go.?
Ella’s Big Birthday Luau
Growing up in Hawaii, Matt thought the tradition of having a huge luau for a child’s first birthday seemed like a true celebration of life and friendship, and we decided to welcome Ella’s second year with a celebration worthy of her first. Almost 60 people showed up for what turned into quite an affair. After deciding to invite everyone we know and love, including half the neighborhood, we came to the very realistic decision that cooking luau food for all our guests wasn’t a smart thing to attempt. So, we ordered some fried rice, Kalua pig (roasted pork with cabbage) and lau lau (tender fish wrapped in leaves) from a local hole-in-the-wall Hawaiian restaurant. We also made teriyaki chicken, lomi lomi salmon (a salad made with salmon, tomatoes and onions) and served fresh pineapple and mango and a killer fruit punch. Yes, we went overboard, but it was all delicious and we were left with surprisingly little at the end of the day. We also ordered a cake from Whole Foods. I felt a tad guilty for not baking my baby’s first birthday cake so I made a carrot cake for her actual birthday (which was a week and a half earlier) with special ingredients so Matt could enjoy it too (wheat/gluten-free flour and honey instead of sugar). The one from Whole Foods was delicious. The one I made, not so good. I was glad to have the delicious one for our guests!
Our new neighbors, with whom we are madly in love, helped us decorate our house with lots of luau-appropriate attire including grass skirting on the tables, palm trees, shells and sand to garnish the table and lots of outdoor furniture. Naturally being Seattle in June, the rain started at the exact time the guests began arriving and let up as everyone was heading home. Oh well, you can’t have everything.
Ella took her first steps just a few days before the party and as is typical with many babies, she was very clingy and needy throughout the affair. In fact that morning as we were trying to get ready, Ella refused to be put down even for a moment as we were mad-dashing around the house setting up. Picture me in a grass skirt with a kid on my hip and a vacuum cleaner… Yes, you read that right, I wore a grass skirt and so did Ella. Her Auntie Jill sent us the cutest faux grass skirt for her, and she also happily donned a lei and a ponytail on her head.
The party was a great success, despite the rain and the grumpy girl, and Ella spent the majority of it playing with the other kids in her room. When it came time for cake, however, Ella was a tad overtired and overwhelmed. She stared wide-wild-eyed at the hordes of people singing to her and then burst into tears when I tried to put her birthday hat on her head. She didn’t even taste the cake. Fortunately, all the girl needed was a little alone time, and after some quality quiet time in her room she was as ready to party and open presents. We debated and debated about whether to ask people not to bring presents to her party because, let’s face it, the last thing this kid needs is more toys. In the end though, we decided that we weren’t going to stop people from bringing gifts to a birthday party, and good grief, did they ever bring them. Amazingly, the loot came mainly in the form of books, for which I will be eternally grateful, clothes and several handmade items that will always be cherished including a handmade sweater and a charcoal drawing entitled “Infant Stages.” It was the perfect end to a wonderful first year with Ella.
Stay tuned for another update soon,
Melissa
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