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April 3, 2003
The Rearview Mirror….
(4.3.03)
The remote control for our garage door opener is clipped to the front passenger’s sun visor. I press the button and, while the door is opening, I take a moment to glance at the rear view mirror where I see my two children. This mirror reflects the images of what I hold dearest. Each day, the mirror changes. During the weekdays, their moods differ from still half-asleep & quiet, to crabby & fussy, to happy & singing. One day Mitch is babbling and Rachel will insist on complete silence. The next day they are both laughing and singing and clapping to This Old Man. The next day Rachel is complaining that, “Mitch is touching me,” or “Mitch is looking at me,” all typical lines out of the mouths of babes. Other days, especially when she is not ready to get up, Rachel will be dark and moody and say, “mommy, you are a bad girl,” (grin); the next day she is full of “mommy, I love you, and I love daddy, and I love Mitch, I love my Grandma, my Grandpa, my cousins.” She recites a list of nearly everyone in the family. Of course, it’s my job to drive with one finger and pass out drinks, crackers and snacks with my others. It’s my job to rip open the fruit snack packets and pass them back. “And, mom, could you please take out all of the orange ones first?” Rachel doesn’t like the orange ones, and Mitch doesn’t know the difference. Some mornings I give them each their own packet, but this week Rachel volunteered to supervise Mitch’s fruit snacks. I should have known better, because when I turned around to check on them, Rachel was holding two packets and was feeding the orange ones (and only the orange ones) to Mitch. Sigh. But, Mitch is learning, to speak up. Every man for himself. One of his favorite snacks is Honey Maid graham cracker sticks. He used to take one at a time out of the box. Just this week, he began scooping a handful of crackers with both hands and holding his stash close to his chest, not willing to share or afraid that someone will take it away.
The F-word:
Each week in school, Rachel’s class focuses on a new letter of the alphabet. One week, they learned the letter P. They glued popcorn on the letter P, they ate P foods (pizza, pears, peas, peaches, pretzels), they learned P colors: pink & purple, etc. Last week, they learned about the letter F. They planted seeds and watched the Flowers grow. They drew pictures of Fish and counted on their Fingers. They learned F-words like Fruit and Flowers and Food. When I picked her up on Monday, she ran to me and said, “mommy I learned the F word today!” I was taken aback, my eyes grew wide, and I looked at the teacher. Turns out the F-word is a good thing in this case, but she gave me a scare. I don’t want to explain the meaning of the F-word to my 3 ½ year old daughter.
Sticks & Stones…
A was bathing Rachel on Sunday night and noticed some bruises on her lower back. She is not exactly Grace under Fire and tends to bruise easily, but I asked her about her bruises. I asked her if she fell or if anyone hit her or was mean to her. I was surprised by her answer. She said, “no, mommy, no one hit me, but Darian said I am ugly.” Ugly? Where did this come from? Darian (pronounced Derry-un; age 3) is a classmate. She said that when she got back from her dance lesson on Friday, Darian said she was ugly. “She called me ugly 3 times, mom.” Sigh. I asked her if Darian was taking dance lessons and she said no. Rachel is taking a dance class with some other girls who are learning tap and ballet. They wear their dance dresses to school in the morning because the dance class starts at 9 a.m. They change out of their clothes after class. The bottom line is that Darian did not like Rachel’s dance dress and shoes and decided to call her ugly. I explained that God does not make anyone ugly, that all little girls and boys are beautiful. I told her that she is beautiful, that Darian is beautiful, and that we do not say UGLY. It’s a no-no word. Wanting to keep the peace, I told her the next time Darian calls her ugly, that she is to tell Darian that God doesn’t make ugly people, that she and Darian are both beautiful, and that UGLY is a no-no word. I realize it’s a typical comment for a 3-year-old to make in a situation, but I do not want my daughter to feel (even for a minute) that she is UGLY. I don’t want her to have self-esteem issues at such a young age. I want her to be assertive and independent. I want her to speak up and to stick up for herself using kind words. I made it a point to catch her teacher in the hallway, away from the kids, and I asked her if she noticed any animosity between Rachel & Darian. She said (ever so eloquently) that they don’t exactly like each other and she senses a rivalry. She told me that yesterday Rachel was leader of the line (each day one of the students is the “leader.” Everyone lines up and the leader leads the way to the lunch room, to the gym, to the playground and back.). It was Rachel’s turn to be “leader of the line,” and Darian knew this. Darian pushed herself to the front of the line in front of Rachel and crossed her arms. The teacher reminded her that it was Rachel’s turn, and Darian said, she was just making room for Rachel. I told the teacher what Rachel had said about being called UGLY by Darian after dance class. I asked her to pay attention when the girls returned from their dance class. I don’t want *either of them* resorting to name calling. I don’t care who started it, that’s not important, but when one starts, the other will want to fight back or defend with another name.
Mitch…
Mitch just got over being sick this weekend. He had a temperature, vomited and had diarrhea for three days. His appetite diminished, and he was really crabby. He took marathon naps and went to bed early at night. I was afraid he would have the runs in his sleep and wake up with a raging diaper rash. I thought I would check on him Sunday night before going to bed. When I snuck in his room, it smelled like poop. Oh man! I didn’t want to wake him, but there was no way I could/would let him sleep with a load in his pants. Just to make sure, I put my finger in his diaper and after seeing and feeling diarrhea up to my knuckle, I knew for sure. Just one whiff of that on my finger (ewwww!). I got him up and quickly changed and redressed him. His hair was soaking wet. I settled him back in his bed, but then began to worry that he had a fever and needed Motrin. I am too short to reach over the side of the bed and take his temperature. Jerry came up and took his temperature. It was a cool 96. I realized that his fever had just broken; thus the wet hair. I am glad I changed his diaper and we checked his temperature. I slept better and so did Mitch. He woke up with a heavy wet diaper, and was good to go.
Mitch is really interested in the computer screen, the keyboard, and the mouse. Of course, he is too young to know what he’s doing (isn’t he?), but he loves to look at the pictures on the web site. He points to himself and to Rachel and he will reach over and kiss the screen. When I turn off the monitor, I can see the outlines of his mouth prints and hand prints. Jerry taught both kids to high-five. Any time they do something cool, he will say, “give me a high five,” and the kids will run over and slap his hand and he will slap back (gently of course).
Time for a Change…
I have one more month of classes before finals and then I’ll be free for the summer. Boy, am I ever ready for a change. A complete change. A total makeover. Hair, makeup, clothes. Jerry had his boys night out on Saturday to draft fantasy baseball teams. After the kids were in bed, I spent over 3 hours cleaning out my closet. I don’t know why, but I hang on to clothes forever. I have a full range of things that I never wear. From business suits, to cocktail dresses, to bathing suits, and everything in between. I decided to really attack my closet for good. I stuffed lawn size trash bags with shoes, dresses, skirts, belts, bags, etc. It felt really good to see what is left in my closet. I still have things to get rid of, but I’m happy with the way it looks and I like seeing only the clothes I wear and not a closet packed with a mixture of fashion mistakes. Many pieces of clothing could be featured in the “don’ts” of Glamour magazine. The only thing I kept which I am not wearing are my jodhpurs. I’m not riding horses right now, but I will start riding again and hope to get Rachel interested too. Back to the makeover topic. At 5’2”, I’m not overweight, but I feel frumpy. When I feel frumpy on the outside, I know it affects my inside feelings. I am tired of wearing the same old clothes, the same old makeup, the same old hairstyle. I have been wanting to get a short, fresh haircut for a while. I’ve carried pictures in my purse at every hair appointment. I’ve asked for a new haircut, but each time I’d end up leaving with just a trim and not much of a change. I decided to go back to a stylist I used many years ago. She had an opening at 2:30 on Saturday, so I decided to go for it. I showed her pictures of what I wanted, and she agreed that it would look great. Of course, beyond the cut, the key to great looking hair is the hair products and skill of the stylist. She cut it short, just below the ears. I tuck it behind my ears, and the ends flip up. I bought all the hair products and walked away feeling great. I just love it and so does Jerry. After a week of playing with it in the mornings, though, I’m not able to get it to look as cute and hip. I dry it this way and that way and then flip it at the ends. I am either not using enough product or (more likely) too much. I use a gel to add shine, and then a foam to add volume and style. After it’s dried, I add frozen wax (can’t believe the names of these products), but I think I’m too heavy-handed with the wax. I’m going back for color on Saturday. so I’ll be sure to pay closer attention to the styling of the hair. I got a manicure and pedicure on Monday and realized how much I miss getting that done every week or so. After I get the hair figured out, I want to try a new line of makeup. I have used Clinique makeup for the past 21 years. I’m ready for a change. I have been invited to makeup parties and tried Beauty Control and Mary Kay, but never stayed with it. Does anyone have a line of makeup that they simply love? Why? What do you recommend? I’ve heard good things about Prescriptives and women rave over Bobbi Brown. Other than that, I’m lost. After the makeup, I want to build a brand new wardrobe. I’m ready for new clothes and summer sandals. I’m not really a trendy clothing gal, you’d never see me wearing a skirt with ruffles on the bottom, but I do like the classic lines like Ann Taylor and Harold Powell. Anyone have any clothing lines to recommend?
Summer fun, fun, fun…
It’s fun to plan fun things, to have something fun to look forward to. My boss gave us 4 tickets to the Shriners circus which is coming at the end of the month. The kids will be so excited, I’m almost afraid to tell Rachel, as I will hear, “how many more days until the circus?,” every day. School will be out in another month, so I’ll have a lot of free time on my hands. Corinne (BT writer, mom to Cameron) is flying to Texas to visit us in May, and we are looking forward to some fun-fun-fun! Some other writers/readers/lurkers want to get together, too, so if you are interested/have ideas or recommendations, post on my board or privately email me: Millimaki@yahoo.com. We are flying to Michigan for the 4th of July for 11 days to visit Jerry’s parents. They are anxious to get their hands on their grandbabies. They are going to baby-sit for a few nights while we sneak away to Mackinac Island for a few days of fun and relaxation at a bed-n-breakfast. We plan to meet Barb and JD on the island, and that will be fun. I think we may have another girls weekend out (a/k/a Jennifer Convention) in Vegas again this year, Lord knows we have to party with Celine!
Warmly,
Megan
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/millimaki/
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