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March 11, 2003
18 Weeks, 2 Days
We are slowly settling into the routine of daily life here at home again. Such mundane activities like cleaning the house, a regular weekend activity, and making lists of what we’re going to tackle for the next few weekends give me a little peace. I am still caught during quiet moments by the deaths in my family recently, but it is getting much easier to bear with every moment. I can say unequivocally that life has changed, but I can also say that perhaps it is better from this event. There are things that I appreciate more now than I did before, and the daily progress of my pregnancy is at the top of that list.
The only problem we have had since we returned is the realization that the person that we had looking after Brook did not do one single thing we requested in terms of Brook’s behaviour :-( This was clear right from the moment that we returned home from the airport. While she was definitely acting a little odd because of our absence, there were behaviours that she has never exhibited towards us that she is now doing. We have essentially fought tooth and nail against her stubbornness since she was a pup to train her to be a properly behaving dog. We absolutely do not believe that a dog should ever jump up on someone, nor should they take the owner on a walk, tugging and pulling at the leash. Those are only a few of the things we never wished our dog to do.
When we got up the next morning, I went to feed her and as I was holding the bowl in my hand and asking her if she wanted food (to which she will ‘speak’ a little growl or be silent if she is not hungry) she jumped right up onto my belly. I have to say that I was so shocked I was speechless. Not once has Brook EVER done this to me – she has been jumpy with strangers on walks and such, but has never exhibited this type of behaviour towards me or Simon. Now that I am pregnant, this was even more disappointing, as she is already 60lbs at 8.5 months, and has just over a year left to fill out and grow – we are expecting her to be a solid 75-80lb dog. That type of weight on my belly, when I am already feeling slightly off-balance is absolutely unacceptable. I recovered from my shock and scolded her as we do when she is bad, and she knew right away that I was very upset with her. What is perhaps most heartbreaking is that she is an extremely intelligent dog – she knows without a doubt when she’s done something that she’s not permitted to do and acts submissive until we have forgiven her. Simon asked why I had to scold her and was equally shocked and disappointed when I told him what she had done. We knew immediately that it was because of the person we had looking after her – there was no other logical reason why she would suddenly do this to me.
The other thing is her behaviour on walks is totally different. She is acting very rudely, pulling on the leash, sniffing at things she would not have before, and then eating them, not responding to commands… The list goes on. It really is so heartbreaking to watch 6 months of hard and consistent training go down the tubes, right before your eyes, just because a person you trusted to follow some simple rules thought that they were unreasonable for a dog and did not follow them. The thing is, it was not HER dog, but ours and we are the ones who have to live with her consequences from her actions. We have now re-dedicated ourselves and Brook to some hard-core retraining. I dearly hope that we are able to convince her that she is never to act the way she did when we were away. It makes me very very sad. I have no doubt that we will encounter further repercussions of her misbehaviour in the following weeks.
School right now is absolute madness. I am working my butt off trying to get caught up with all the assignments and papers due, plus making sure that I make it to all the group meetings and such, and put in work on that project as well. I have gotten the distinct feeling from my first group that they didn’t appreciate me going away the way I did, but it is not as if I had any choice in the matter – and frankly, they can kiss my ass. My second group is much better than the first. We work much more efficiently, the people are smart and come up with really good ideas, we flow really well in our creative jam sessions. As well, all but one is really dedicated and works hard individually towards the end goal for the group, so that the weight of the work is much more equally shared than my previous group. Anyway, it is very hectic right now, and will be I think until the end of term, upon which my thesis work will begin anew. And that’s a WHOLE other barrel of fun…
I have now not worked on anything regarding my thesis for 5 weeks straight. It’s starting to feel like ‘a thesis?’ What’s that? It would be fair to say that I am getting a little stressed about it all. But I don’t feel I can do anything about it right now, as my course work takes priority – it’s due before the thesis, and I need to make sure I pass these courses to fulfill my other requirements for graduation. Yuck. I guess that there is a silver lining to the break however. As I am getting some distance from it, I am realizing where improvements can be made in the structure and route I am taking to write the darn thing. I feel I am coming at it much more clearly than I was before, so that’s a good thing after all. Oh, and my supervisor is really cool with me not being able to work on it right now – he really has been nothing short of supportive for me since the first day I started to work under him at the Municipality, through to this project.
Okay, the last icky thing: I have a cavity. Actually, I have two. Yeay. The only nice thing about learning this is that my dentist rocks – he never lectures me or anything like that really, which is so wonderful given my life-long battle with my teeth. He just gives his honest opinion on steps I should take to increase the health of my teeth and gums, and really tries to make sure that I get good care of areas that are problems for me. Plus, he has a daughter with my name, so obviously he’s a smart guy :-) He’s asked me to come in before May or so to deal with the cavities, but we are awaiting confirmation of new health care coverage, and I’m not so certain on when it’s going to arrive. When I told him this, he said it was fine, that to come in before May was strictly for my own comfort with the pregnancy, and that sooner was better in regards to that. So, I’ll make an appointment when we get the new health coverage. This again, is another topic to discuss.
As a university student, I have had health coverage with the particular university for some time now. I have revelled in it, after living most of my life with nothing but the provincial health coverage, which by necessity, is hardly anything at all. However, when I became a graduate student, I had expected somewhat more from my health coverage. I was paying slightly more, and thought, logically, that there would be different benefits from the undergrad coverage. After all, grad students are quite frequently older, have different health priorities and problems. Well, the health coverage I’m under as a student is really poor. And expensive, for not getting much use out of. So, we did some heavy duty research and found a company with coverage plans we really liked. Like dental care – yippee!! And coverage of more than $10 of a physiotherapy visit (visits usually cost about $45 – a lot to cover when I should be going every 2-3 weeks). And great hospital coverage – like when I’ll be in the hospital giving birth… :-) So, yes, while it is more expensive overall than the university coverage, I also get to write it off at tax time, and I get WAY more benefits than the crappy grad plan.
I think that’s about it for this week actually, so I’ll leave it at that.
Symptoms: Belly is still growing away, and we took another belly shot this week :-) I am almost getting big enough to tell that I’m not gaining weight, but that I’m pregnant! I can’t wait until someone asks me when I’m due when they weren’t told I was pregnant. I’ve been feeling really really tired lately – not sure if it is a repercussion of all the emotionally draining time last week, or just the baby growing by leaps and bounds. Hopefully it’s both! Anyway, I’ve been having to go to bed again at 9:00pm and sleep in a bit in the mornings more – I’m just exhausted during the day. That’s all I can think of for my symptoms this week that are any different from last week. I am fairly cruising along in this pregnancy, and have to be thankful for it as there are so many women who don’t have easy pregnancies.
**Talk to Me**
What type of health coverage do you have now, and did you change or alter it because of your pregnancy or kids? *I realize this is a difficult question because of the differing health systems in Canada/USA*
Did you have periods of exhaustion in your second trimester when the baby was going through a growth boom?
Namaste, Laura and the Little One
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