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August 21, 2003
August 21, 2003
Nathan 16 months
Austin EDD Dec 17th 2003
22 weeks pregnant
The Tales of a Hypersensitive, Defensive and Loving Mom………
A recent experience really had me wondering if I was just being a mom or a way too sensitive and defensive mom. I would love to know on my TTM board if others have felt this way. I have to believe there are more moms out there just like me!
On August 9th we decided to take our 15 ½ month old son Nathan to get his first haircut. We went to a place where we actually heard good things about so we were actually excited about the experience. Although we were a little cautious knowing most babies and/or toddlers don’t really love their first haircutting experience. I will admit Nathan’s hair had gotten a little bit too long but really now that I think about it, it only seemed to grow a lot in the last couple months or so. We hadn’t really been in any kind of hurry to get his first haircut done because he has a lot of wave and body in his hair and with length, Nathan had the cutest curls ever! But we decided it was time to say goodbye to his curls and hello to looking like a little man.
We had to wait quite awhile for his turn at the chair and I am sure that didn’t help matters any with Nathan. He was probably really tired of being there. Needless to say, it became Nathan’s turn and we knew he wouldn’t and couldn’t sit in the chair by himself so he first tried sitting on Daddy’s lap to get his haircut. Well that wasn’t too successful because the stylist wasn’t overly nice to us or Nathan and on top of that had a pair of scissors in her hand. I am sure Nathan was quite scared of those things. He screamed, cried, kicked and was basically letting us know that he was scared and wanted to leave. We then tried him on my lap and that didn’t help much more but it was a change. She was able to cut quite a bit off then. We then decided to stand up with him and she was able to finish his haircut like that.
I couldn’t believe how the stylist treated us and made me feel. I was so mad that day. I can only imagine how red my face got! She seriously acted like he was the only toddler or baby to scream at their first haircut. I know that can’t be true! I have always heard stories about toddler’s first haircuts and most aren’t too pretty! She actually asked me if he was like that at his doctor appointments also. I couldn’t believe she asked me that and I said defensively I am sure, that actually he does really well at his doctor appointments and he is actually a really good toddler and that he was just scared. I think she could tell I wasn’t too pleased at what she asked me and how she asked me. And as she was cutting his hair she kept saying, “You will look handsome NOW!” Oh boy, that got me so mad. I didn’t say anything but I was so upset. It was like she was saying he wasn’t handsome before just because his hair was long and curly. I actually loved his hair and he got a lot of compliments on his curls! Whenever Nathan was screaming a lot she kept saying, “You really need a haircut!!” Maybe at face value her statements weren’t too bad, but I guess combining them with the way she said them made it pretty obvious she was meaning to be rude and judgmental. Personally, I don’t think it is her place to say to him he REALLY needs a haircut. It wasn’t that bad in the first place. And then she said as we were finishing up that maybe we should’ve brought him in sooner and maybe he would have been better. I don’t think bringing him in sooner would have made any difference. His first haircut is a first haircut no matter when he gets it done. My guess is he would have been terrified no matter when we took him in. Plus we happened to like his hair and didn’t want it cut until he was 15 ½ months. She really treated us like we were lazy and neglectful parents just because he had long curls and hadn’t already had his haircut before then.
What can I say? The experience was awful but the outcome was great. We love his new hairdo! He definitely looks a lot different. Before his haircut I think most people noticed his cute curls first and then his face, well now it is now his face that is more noticeable and that’s a great thing because his face is beautiful! Of course I am going to say that, I am his mom! :):) I know most stylists are great and maybe this one was having a bad day or I am just being hypersensitive and defensive! All that from a place that was recommended to us, can you believe that?
It is so funny how many things I probably take the wrong way. Like whenever people haven’t seen Nathan in quite awhile they sometimes notice his little temper that he has now at 16 months. I always want to exclaim to them that it is normal at his age and most toddlers have a little temper. The main reason being they know what they want or don’t want for that matter, but aren’t quite old enough to express it fully. I always wonder if they are judging Nathan or us as parents when they say he has a temper. Or more likely that it’s probably totally innocent and just an observation on their part.
Another thing that I probably take totally the wrong way is when people we know or strangers say how big Nathan is. Mind you, yes he is a big boy! He is in the 97th percentile for both height and weight and has always been that way since the day he was born! He really has no choice with his size, his daddy is 6’4”, wears a size 17 shoe, yes I said 17 and played football, lineman at that, for years in school. And I am 5’9” and what I like to call big boned! LOL!!! :):) I always wonder if they are judging him or us like we feed him Twinkies all day or something. I always want to tell them that he doesn’t eat that much actually and eats real healthy. I abstain though knowing that they are probably just making a totally innocent statement about his size and not judging him or us at all.
If you are interested in seeing pictures of Nathan before, during, and after his first haircut – check out our family website at http://web.infoave.net/~kelkev12/ Click on August 2003 to view them. His hair was pretty crazy looking that day before his haircut, just a warning ha-ha! :)
** TTM board – Please tell me I am not crazy after all. Am I just being a typical mom? Do other moms of big babies or big toddlers feel this way also sometimes? How was your child’s first haircut? How about those tempers on toddlers? Also if anyone is reading this from my area (Edwardsville-Alton Illinois), let me know if you know of any good places for his future haircuts! Thanks!
Thank you so much for reading my entry. Have a great week everyone!
God Bless~
Kelly, Nathan, and soon to be Austin :)
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