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December 10, 2004
How soon is too soon to start toilet training? For the past several weeks Ava has been telling us when she needs a diaper change either immediately before or right after she goes to the bathroom. She definitely doesn’t have the physical dexterity to get herself out of her pants to go to the bathroom. Plus she’s only 18 months old, for goodness sake. I didn’t think we’d really start toilet training until sometime after her second birthday or really whenever she seems ready. Babycenter.com says introducing her to a potty seat at this stage, to help her get used to it, is a good idea. To me that seems like we would be setting up a whole protracted process. It is very nice for her to have the emotional and intellectual ability to communicate with us on needing her diaper changed. I’d love to hear your experiences. For some reason I didn’t think this would start this soon. Gut instinct is telling me to continue to give her good, positive re-enforcement for telling us she needs to go to the bathroom, but wait on the little seat for awhile. But I can be easily swayed by good advice.
Each day it seems we leave more baby things behind. Ava absolutely loves to brush her teeth. I didn’t know exactly when we were supposed to start teeth brushing, but it might appear we waited longer than we needed to. About a month ago we got Ava a Winne-the-Pooh toothbrush and toothpaste. She loves them. I digress to say that I am generally against ‘character’ things like a Dora the Explorer hat or Elmo sneakers, but I do make an exception for Pooh. Hypocritical, I know, but I’m allowed to make up these silly rules, at least for now. Every morning and every evening Ava reminds us she needs to brush her teeth. She looks like such a big girl… We do the initial brush for her, but then let her brush her own to finish up and get the practice. She does a very thorough job of it – mimicking all the moves you make when brushing your teeth, including spitting the toothpaste, usually right down the front of her shirt. All these little things are just making her seem more and more like a little girl. I can’t wait to get to know her better.
I have to make a comment about Julia Roberts and the birth of her twins. I start by saying that I don’t believe she’s perpetuated this much herself, but for all the press accounts you’d think she was the first person to ever have a baby (babies). For the most part I think she’s laid low, but has said enough to keep from being overly secretive for a person in the public eye. The press reports are enough to make me want to gag! Imagine how that would feel? She had a c-section! She plans to breast-feed! She will feed her children organic food! She’s going to slow down now that she’s a mom! She choose unusual names! Spare me! Again in the true confessions – I subscribe to Us Weekly, but will not be renewing when the subscription is up. I think those magazines have crossed the line in invading celebrity’s private lives. Clearly the appetite is there, but I don’t want to pay for it or contribute to it anymore. Again, I digress in my hypocritical way. I read in Us some time ago that Julia had been photographed leaving a fertility clinic, where her rep said she was “visiting a friend.” I know for certain it is none of my damn business, but why won’t she admit she went through fertility treatment? These professions of twins running in her family doesn’t quite ring true. Maybe Us was making it up - it isn’t like I read this in the New York Times or something… My other hunch? Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt are having trouble having a baby. I have had this feeling for a while… And I feel like it must just hurt them deep, deep inside every time they are asked when they’re going to have a baby. I have nothing to go on here, but my own recollections of how much I hated putting on a smiley face every time some nosy person would ask when we were going to have a baby. Not that I look like Jennifer Aniston, but I feel like I’ve seen that pained smile when she talks about this.
Our love affair with Netflix continues – this past weekend we watched two movies – “The Terminal” and “Shattered Glass.” I thought “The Terminal” was a total bore. How could that be? Tom Hanks? Steven Speilberg? Stanley Tucci (who I think is very talented – loved ‘Big Night’)? Catherine Zeta Jones? Seems like a can’t miss. It missed me big time. But “Shattered Glass” was awesome. It is the true story of Steven Glass, a young reporter for the New Republic magazine who gets accused of fabricating stories. Fantastic, suspenseful, intellectually interesting without being over-bearing. Definitely a great renter!
In between movie viewings (and a number of 15 minute intervals of “Finding Nemo”) we managed to get our Christmas decorations up, our tree purchased and set up. I had a ball out at the Christmas tree farm with my family. Although at times like these I feel kind of bad for Meghan and Lane. They have to go through these rituals with two families. I find it slightly exhausting with just one. Their mother is a very, very craftsy woman (I’m not) who decorates for each season with abandon. I tend to crave simple, uncluttered spaces and don’t really like a lot of kitsch lying around. I think our decorations are pretty and festive without being over the top. I know Meghan and Lane worked on their mom’s house for several days, so we kept their participation in our decorating (limited as it may be) to just picking out and setting up the tree. There was much less stress for everyone that way.
We have a bit of history with the whole Christmas tree thing. The first year John and I were dating he and the kids invited me to go with them to pick out their Christmas tree. They had a family tradition of driving to a Christmas tree farm like an hour and a half away. Once along on this trip I quickly realized this was a big family of origin thing and it was actually somewhat uncomfortable to be there – the kids were really acting out the absence of their mother in that happy family picture big time. Flash forward to our first Christmas as married people/blended family. John and I got married Thanksgiving weekend, so right away the next weekend we entered into the whole Christmas season. The kids were caterwauling to go to the Christmas tree farm an hour and a half away. I quite stupidly and stubbornly put my foot down and said “NO!” I recalled how awkward it had been, was exhausted from our trip, the move etc… I announced we would be picking up our tree at the local nursery and that would be that. We all went to our collective corners and it was, quite literally, the most unpleasant blended family experience I’ve had. I really believe that years from now when Meghan and Lane are adults we’ll be sitting around drinking a glass of wine and they will still remember how hurt and betrayed they were by my refusal to honor their tradition. I really blew it. That Christmas tree was the worst… it fell down several times, looked crummy and seemed to be this physical manifestation of my shortcomings as a step-mother. Being a firm believer in learning from my mistakes (well at least I try) we have now started our OWN family tradition. We go to a different farm to get our tree, one that is only about a half an hour away, but the kids got to make the suggestion and I am enthusiastic to the point of insincerity. I think they’ve forgiven me, at least I hope.
So this year we headed out to pick out our tree, which was pretty fun. Last year Ava was pretty little, but it was a riot to see her running around out there this year. We had someone take a picture of our family for our Christmas card. It is a good picture of me, John, Meghan and Lane, but Ava looks half- asleep. I wish it were a better picture of her, but I like having the kind of seasonal look of the Christmas trees behind us and having our whole family in the picture, not just the kids. For the first time this year I drafted a holiday letter. I generally enjoy reading letters from people, recounting their year. It was hard to summarize our whole year in one page (we all know how verbose I can be) but I think it is readable without being too saccharine. I have a good friend who is vehemently “anti-letter” operating under a belief that you shouldn’t be sending Christmas cards to people who don’t already know what you’ve been up to all year. I’ll have to make sure the letter doesn’t get included in her card when I send them out this weekend.
This week I feel only marginally more prepared for Christmas. We’ve done a fraction of our shopping, but at least the decorations are up. John and I are hoping to take Monday afternoon off work and head out to knock out a lot of our shopping. I can’t stand the malls on the weekends. This way we can have lunch together, enjoy some time picking out things for the kids and Ava can stay happy and well supervised at day care. If not Monday, than hopefully sometime during the week. The clock in my head is starting to tick, tick, tick…
Ava woke up Monday morning with a low fever, 101.3. Other than the fever, she didn’t seem to have any other symptoms. I spent the day at home with her and she was extra clingy, a little sluggish, but otherwise fine. Tuesday her fever was down to 99.8, but John kept her home. The temp came back up in the evening, as John headed out to play some poker with his pals, but was fine again Wednesday morning, so Ava went back to daycare. I think if I really would have thought she was sick I would have kept her home another day and honored the fairly ridiculous day care rule of waiting 24 hours after a fever has broken to bring your child back to day care. I suspected she was working on some new toofers, which might be causing the fever. Turns out I was wrong. Ava had her well-baby appointment on Thursday afternoon and she has an ear infection. I feel terrible for waiting so long, but I really didn’t think it was anything more than a cold or some teeth. I think I have pretty good instincts as a mom, but I just never quite know for sure when to take her in to the pediatrician. I’m glad the well-baby visit was so well timed, but to be honest I’m not sure I would have made an appointment for her based on a low fever that was coming and going with no other apparent symptoms. Horrible! Ava’s taking some Omnicef, which has the added benefit of turning her poop red. Always glad they warn you about that – it is fairly startling.
Beyond the ear infection, Ava is doing awesome. She was 33 inches long (95th percentile) and weighed 24 lbs, 2 oz (50th percentile). Her noggin’ quite large (holds all those brains) at 19 ¼ inches (also 95th percentile). Based on the conversation with her pediatrician she is ahead on verbal/intellectual development things and right on track on physical development. She got her last dose of immunization until she’s four. That is a bit of a relief. I am glad she’s fully immunized, because I do firmly believe there is a greater risk of consequences from illness than adverse side effects from immunizations. I still never liked to see all that medicine pumped into her little body. And the look of complete and total betrayal on her face when the nurse gave her the shot – it broke my heart. Our girl can be a bit of a drama queen and she let me (and the nurse) have it after her shot, that is until she got a sticker.
I’ll close this week’s entry with a tasty recipe for peanut sauce – great on cooked chicken or pork. This recipe originally came from my Grandma Jane, but I adapted it a little.
Thanks for reading—
--Kate
Prepare meat with a little salt and pepper and drizzle with the sauce when cooking is complete.
Combine over low heat--
½ Cup canned chicken broth (I like low sodium)
2 Tablespoons creamy peanut butter
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
½ teaspoon garlic powder (this is a rare time when garlic powder works better than fresh garlic – it distributes more evenly)
½ teaspoon minced ginger (powder would also work fine)
I also added a dash of Asian chili sauce because I like the zip. A little Tabasco or similar would also work fine – to taste – or you can leave it out.
Stir until smooth and warm – only a minute or two.
I love this sauce because it jazzes up plain chicken or pork, it is super easy and is mostly pantry items. The kids love it. Chicken or pork with this sauce, rice and some green beans is in pretty heavy rotation at our house. If I’m feeling fancy I sprinkle with chopped peanuts and/chopped scallions over the top.
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