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May 23, 2005
After 20 long weeks the legislature finally adjourned for the session late Friday night. I am still trying to internalize the fact that I don’t have to go to the Capitol anymore. Phew! Not wanting to let the grass grow under my feet I’ve started to send out my resume and job inquiries already. I very, very much hope to have my professional circumstances changed by Labor Day. Fingers crossed!
My sweet baby turns two this weekend, as unbelievable as that seems. She is so fully of funny little quirks and behaviors I keep making mental notes to write about them in this diary and I think I forget about half of the things I want to be sure to record before they are gone from my memory. Our Patito is quite the creature of habit. I thought it might be fun to write about a typical day for her and try to capture some of her funny little rituals and behaviors in the meantime.
Ava usually wakes up in the morning between 6-6:30am. Most mornings she wakes up in just a great mood. Many mornings I hear her in her crib kind of rustling around, sucking her thumb or reading a book I’ve left in there for her. Ava generally announces she is ready to get up by calling out to either John or I (usually me) – ‘Mama!’ or ‘Daddeee!’ One of us will go to get her. When its me I pick her up and we hug/cuddle and I ask her if she had a good snooze? Did you have good dreams? If she’s in a good mood we go straight to the changing table to change her diaper, if she’s a little fussy or out of sorts (hardly ever) we rock for a minute before we change her diaper.
Most mornings Ava starts asking for her ‘Pisspees’ (Rice Krispies) right away. Sometimes, if she’s still a little sleepy or cuddly we can talk her into a little cuddle in bed with mom and dad. Those are my absolute favorite times. She’ll cuddle up, talk a little bit, suck her thumb and wake up a little more. Generally John takes Ava downstairs for her breakfast while I start getting ready. After eating an astonishing amount of ‘piss-pees’ she watches 20 minutes (or so) of Elmo, ‘Sully’ (Monsters Inc) or ‘Finding Nemo’ while we race around, finishing getting ready. She does this in her bright pink ‘anywhere chair’ from Pottery Barn Kids – her fort.
Breakfast is quite the event for Ava. On mornings she goes to daycare she eats a SECOND breakfast once she arrives. On days she’s home with us she grazes throughout the morning eating ‘Puffs’ (Coco Puffs – thanks Meghan and Lane) out of a little baggie, her preferred container for these, Triscuits, out of a little white ramekin bowl and/or some kind of dried fruit (raisins, apricots, cherries) that we buy at Costco and come in little individualized boxes – again her most definite preference. Containers are a very big deal for Ava.
On mornings Ava goes to daycare I usually drive her in, taking turns listening to my choice (NPR) or her choice (Rafi) and chatting away. Our girl loves to point out all the items she knows and recognizes on the drive – cars, buses, sky, clouds, birdies, trees, Apple (Applebees sign), puppy (either people walking dogs or dogs on signs), hats, FRIES (McDonlads sign – how does she know this? She’s eaten McDonalds maybe four times in her whole life) and so on. The drop off is shockingly smooth. Ava rolls into daycare, greets her friends, goes to the table for breakfast number two and barely glances in my direction when I go to leave. Sometimes she’ll blow me a kiss. I read somewhere when she was a baby a ‘things daycare providers wish parents would do.’ What stood out to me is that the best thing for the daycare provider, the parent and the child is to make the drop off quick (not necessarily rushed) because when you linger or show concern your child will pick up on that. I try to keep that in mind, filling out her sheet, talking with her teacher and making a quick exit so she can get started on her day.
Usually John picks Ava up from daycare, although that will likely switch with the close of the legislative session. This brings on, perhaps the most stressful time of our whole day. Getting everyone home, fed and settled in for the night. John and I make our best efforts to feed all the kids the same food we eat, although it would be a bit disingenuous to say that we don’t tailor our choices a little based on Meghan, Lane and Ava. On nights the older kids don’t eat with us we probably branch out more than nights they do. And on nights we experiment with more unusual tastes we always offer some to Ava, but are generally prepared with back ups like Easy Mac, fruit, and Risotto in a box that she absolutely loves. She frequently surprises us with the gusto she will eat more unusual foods. Ava also probably consumes 50% of her calories before noon, typically eating a very, very large breakfast, a snack and a good sized lunch… after that she kind of nibbles her way through the rest of the day, so we don’t place a huge premium on dinner for her. If she eats some of what we prepare plus a piece of fruit or something we generally take our cues from her about how hungry she is.
Now that the weather has improved considerably most nights find us outside after dinner. This is especially true now that we’ve added to the backyard possibilities with two new birthday items for our girl – the Magic Doorbell Playhouse and the Step 2 Sand and Water table. A pause here to say the Step 2 Sand and Water table is just terrific, as is the playhouse, but the playhouse is runner up to the sand/water table. Ava loves it. It comes with a large umbrella, which is nice for warmer/sunnier days. The table is a little taller than waist height on her, but I love the fact that she doesn’t have to SIT in the sand to play in the sand. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still a mess, but maybe slightly less of a mess than she otherwise would be. We also take wagon rides around the neighborhood or go to the neighbor’s backyard to swing.
Usually around 7:30-7:45pm we try to pry our girl inside, much to her chagrin, for bath time. John gives her a bath every night, a ritual that began when she was brand new and continues to this day. When Ava was a baby he said he wanted to give her a bath because I had breastfeeding with her as our special time – he wanted his own special time. In fact, she was probably six months old before I bathed her for the first time. That tradition has remained firmly in place since. Although I do bathe her on the evenings he plays basketball or has meetings. After her bath John wraps her up in ‘two’ (the big nannie) and gets her all covered with lotion. He brings her downstairs where Ava and I cuddle on the couch and I rock her like a baby – singing ‘rock a bye baby’ (a rather dark ditty if I do say so) once through.
Ava usually runs around in her diaper for awhile until bedtime – between 8:15-8:30pm. I take her upstairs, get her jammies on and we read stories. Our girl can be sort of streaky with books, like most kiddos. Her favorites tend to rotate, but we usually read two books and they are typically some combination of ‘Quick as a Cricket,’ ‘Cock-A-Moo-Moo,’ ‘Goodnight Butterflies,’ ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,’ and ‘Sailor Moo.’ Every night I lay her down, give her ‘nannie’ (her little blankie) ‘two’ (the bigger version) and ‘Blue Baby.’ I say ‘Good night sweet girl, mama loves you, I’ll see you when the sleeps over.’ Then we blow kisses to each other and she does the sign for ‘I love you.’ (Melt me right down)
On the most hectic days I confess to watching the clock for bed time. And, without fail, within 30 minutes after she goes to sleep I miss her, wish she was awake, wish we would have cuddled longer. Then we wake up and start it all over again. Days she’s home with us don’t follow that much of a different routine, to be honest. More time outside. Some times a trip to the park. Longer viewings of her favorite DVDs. Which leads me to believe the variety of activity she gets at daycare is very, very good for her.
As I mentioned, we got Ava some new outdoor toys that are a big hit. They have also helped ease my guilt a little bit about the amount of time she was/is spending on our neighbor’s swing. Now their kids come down to play in the playhouse or sand/water table and I feel like it’s a little more fair. My parents bought her two Nemo lawn chairs – one is individual, one looks like a little couch. She tried desperately to fit both into her little playhouse, but the little couch is really too big if the individual lawn chair is in there. My mother in law is planning to get Ava a Little Tikes Climb and Slide for her birthday, so that ought to round out the molded plastic backyard play items quite nicely. As nice as all of this outdoor furniture is, it has become increasingly difficult to get Ava in the house. She told me (in the cutest possible way) on the way home from daycare the other day that ‘Aaaa-buh OUTside girrrrll.’ Yes she is indeed.
I am planning to work from home the rest of the week – sweet words to type. I have a lot to do to try to restore some order to our home. We have much of John’s family descending this weekend for Meghan’s graduation extravaganza, making me even more grateful for a little bit of downtime. Plans for the graduation party are taking shape nicely. I need to do some list making and shopping for food items and fondue pots but other than that we’re ok. Since John’s ex-wife is hosting the party at her home there is little question most of the burden will fall to her. I am trying to help out as much as possible, as much as is appropriate. I am taking Meghan to get a manicure and pedicure (for mostly selfish reasons) Friday morning. I wanted the time with her, I wanted to give her a special treat AND I wanted a mani/pedi for myself. We’re having a little BBQ/birthday party for Ava Friday night. Just family. To try to wind down from the legislative session and all the weekend family joy our friends Jim and Sandra and their daughter Sophia are going to meet at my folks house Monday for an inaugural summer swim. A fun weekend, to be sure, but not without its stressors.
So there’s something that’s really bugging me in our neighborhood. We have a neighbor (I’ll use the term loosely) that is driving a VERY, VERY noisy motorcycle at, perhaps, the worst possible times. Right smack dab in the middle of naptime – he woke Ava up both Saturday and Sunday, and early in the mornings. The noise is quite startling for our girl, who doesn’t really scare easily. I know we can’t be the only people irritated by this. Our neighborhood is absolutely teeming with children. The Noon-2pm naptime can’t be that uncommon. I’m trying to figure out what to do. My lawyer husband says there’s not much we can do except file a noise ordinance, but I’m not interested in legal remedies, I’m interested in social courtesies that exist in an insulated, child dominated neighborhood. Urg!
I’ve read some books lately that I think I’ll comment on. The first was a book called ‘Something Borrowed’ by Emily Griffin. The story is about long time best friends – one’s the bride; one’s the maid of honor. The maid of honor sleeps with the best friend’s fiancé. (Not a spoiler – this is on the dust jacket and happens in the first 20 pages of the book) The story was smarter than I expected, although I had a bit of a time understanding how the infidelity drug out. In general I have a hard time relating to stories about infidelity because I can’t imagine anything more soul-jarring and cruel to do to a person you are committed to – even if the commitment is in doubt or shaky. Despite that, I enjoyed the author’s voice – I thought she was funny, sincere and real. I understand there’s a ‘sequel’ or sorts, focusing on Darcy (the wronged fiancé) and I’ll probably pick it up.
I picked up ‘The Happiest Toddler on the Block’ by Harvey Karp at the library. Apparently he also wrote a baby book I never read. I grew a little weary of the constant references to toddlers as Neanderthals, cave people etc… It was a bit ‘cute’ for my taste and perhaps over simplified. What I did take away that I appreciated was how much toddlers want to be respected. He makes clear, time and again, that you have to acknowledge your toddler’s feelings in the midst of a tantrum (or leading up to one) using simple language they can understand. Merging this with some things I saw watching 3 episodes of ‘SuperNanny’ one day during a weekend marathon on television I came to improve some things I was doing already. When Ava is upset I have found it works much better if I crouch down to her level, instead of picking her up, speak to her in a low voice. Start by acknowledging what she’s upset about (I had been kind of ignoring that piece which would be very frustrating to a little person) and using words she can understand to try to explain and redirect. We’ve tried time out a couple of times and it has worked pretty well. Fortunately that’s an option we haven’t needed to employ very often. Like most parenting things (books and now the very addictive television show SuperNanny) I’ve found there is usually a little bit of useful information buried in a bunch of stuff I would never do because it doesn’t meet my girls’ temperament or my style.
One last thing on my mind before I close this marathon entry. This morning I was driving into work and there was a story on NPR about school cafeteria food that really disturbed me. I try not to be a bigtime stickler about what Ava eats, recognizing that she needs to be able to make her own choices, that she will eat many meals away from our home and the best thing we can do is expose her to a nice variety, always offer fruits and vegetables and try to keep the amount of junk to a minimum. But the story on the school cafeteria serving Pizza Hut, Chick-fil-A etc… bothered me. They interviewed the cafeteria administrator, who treats it like a business – saying she needed to cater to what the kids will pay for. Call me over protective, but I think kids in schools are a captive audience. If what’s available to them is fresh food, lean protein, fruits, vegetables, wheat bread etc… then that’s what they’ll eat. With few exceptions I am a big believer in the ‘if they get hungry enough they’ll eat’ philosophy. I know there is growing awareness of this issue, largely due to skyrocketing obesity rates in this country. I hope by the time Ava goes to school some of the legislation banning soda machines and other junk foods in schools will be in place. As a rule I think those things ought to be an exception, a treat, instead of an everyday event. But a question for you, now that I’ve ranted about the food. Is artificial sweetener bad for toddlers? For example – my family is a big fan of Crystal Light Lemonade – and Ava loves it too. Is this bad? She probably only drinks about 4 oz every few days, but I still wonder. I try to limit the juice as much as possible – giving her water, milk or watered down juice. I was just wondering.
I think I’ll close for now –
Thanks for reading—
--Kate
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