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April 20, 2005
This weekend we took Ava to a wedding for one of John’s co-workers. She looked absolutely darling in her little prairie skirt from BabyGap. Ava doesn’t wear many skirts or dresses. Although I am a big fan of the little girl ‘look’ of a skirt with fun patterned tights. I have thought that I pursue that a bit more once she is potty trained – probably this winter. Initially she sort of resisted the skirt, although she warmed up to it quickly and became quite taken with her ability to twirl and have it poof out even more. Ava was great through the first part of the wedding, especially given that they started the ceremony almost 20 minutes late. In an attempt to keep her amused I started plowing through her diaper bag looking for things to occupy her attention. I found a pair of sun glasses we bought for her last summer (that she refused to wear) and Ava gasped, quite loudly, “glasses!” She put them on and would not take them off for most of the rest of the day. I can’t even begin to tell you how hilarious she looked. The glasses are bright pink with pink tinted lenses. We joked that she was trying to avoid the paparazzi. The wedding was in the afternoon and the reception was quite brief. John and I took our movie star daughter to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for a very tasty dinner. (Sausage and artichoke fusili with a light white wine sauce. No restaurant would have been better) Ava rode around the grocery store, in her sun glasses, pointing out everything she recognized – Bananas, oranges, beerbiees (strawberries), bread, cookies – even a ‘Nemo’ balloon.
On the way home John called his friend Ted. Saying Ted is John’s best friend has kind of a junior high ring to it. They are very close, like brothers really – or, as Ted would say, ‘Heterosexual life partners.’ John now has it in his head that he is going to do a ‘simple’ construction project and extend our deck. Our deck is really more accurately described as a play pen. It’s 10x10, railing all the way around, basically unusable. Ted has a book – how to kind of thing that John wanted to borrow to assist in this project. Long set up to say that we stopped by Ted’s house to pick up the book and ended up staying for dinner. Ted and his wife Lana have three boys – their youngest, Sam, is 3 ˝ and has Down’s Syndrome. Lana had taken the older two boys out for the evening, so it was just Ted and Sam at home. They have a glorious back yard, all kind of toys and activities. We sat and chatted for awhile, then John decided he could make pasta for all of us just as easily there as at our house, so we sort of invited ourselves over. At least we brought groceries!
Ava was absolutely in heaven playing with Sam, outside, for several hours. It was very fun for me to watch them playing together. Apart from glimpses at day care, I don’t see her interact with other children all that often. It was fun to see her show some social courtesies like waiting her turn when she and Sam were playing on the slide and sharing a toy bus that plays her most favorite song ever, ‘The Wheels on the Bus.’ She adores Sam and bestowed a number of hugs and kisses on him not that he was at all opposed to. Ava and Sam reminded me of another good lesson Saturday night. The pasta John made had some kind of adult flavors – sausage, artichokes, fresh basil, garlic… I found myself worrying they wouldn’t like it. Those two practically put their chins in their bowls gobbling up the pasta. The conversation was wonderful and I just felt so buoyant sitting around the table, laughing watching our kiddos, listening to John and his very good friend trade stories. I think the kids loved being a part of the sort of celebratory tone the meal took on. Especially Ava is always very careful to check that she’s eating the same thing everyone else at the table is eating. Ted is a softie for Ava, who managed to talk him into two pretty decent sized bowls of ice cream for dessert. Ted said it was a good thing he doesn’t have any daughters.
After we got Ava home and into bed John and I actually stayed up late (for us) and watched the movie ‘Spanglish.’ I don’t know why that movie didn’t get more attention when it came out in the theaters. Maybe everyone was waiting for Netflix, like us. The movie was very enjoyable while not falling into a trap of a traditional romantic comedy. I only had two little complaints – one, I wanted to know a little bit more about John – Adam Sandler’s character – his motivations and what happened to him. Adam Sandler was great and his interactions with his daughter were so sincere. My second complaint is that Tea Leoni’s character became a little overly shrill at times. I think it was important in the context of her character to see that she was insensitive and self-absorbed, but there were a few scenes where it was a little much. I was left wondering how someone as good hearted as John (the Adam Sandler character) had ever fallen in love with her. BUT, it is a good movie and certainly worth renting.
Sunday was our big, big project day. We got so much accomplished – it felt great. Most of the projects were outdoors, mowing the lawn, tilling the garden, cleaning out the garage… John started taking the railing off our play pen of a deck in anticipation of the coming deck expansion. I put away winter clothes, got out summer clothes, did the twice yearly closet purge (always makes me want to shop), did a bunch of laundry. I think, apart from her nap, Ava only spent about 20 minutes inside the whole day. She was running around, being a big helper and thrilled to be outside so much. John and I kind of took turns tending to her and doing our outdoor projects. Of course she spent quite a bit of time on our neighbor’s swing set. That evening Meghan and Lane, Meg’s boyfriend and a friend of theirs came over for some hamburgers on the grill. They had been playing tennis for several hours and it was as if a plague of locusts descended on our kitchen, but it was fun to have them all there. After the slog of an especially busy work cycle, the last days of winter and so forth I just felt so darn good all weekend. The weather was beautiful, I had a wonderful time with John, Ava, Meghan and Lane… we got a ton of stuff done around the house, but didn’t spend the whole weekend working. I am both easily satisfied and hard to please, I suppose. Ava practically left a gray ring around the tub she was so filthy, but tired and happy when we bathed her and put her to bed.
Last week torrential rain cancelled our row, but we made it out this Monday. I ended up skipping a pretty important work meeting that got scheduled at the last minute to go row. The thing is, if I cancel at the last minute, there isn’t time to get a sub and the boat can’t go out. I felt bad on one hand, but on the other kind thought that I’ve missed a lot of important things staying at work and maybe I was just introducing some balance. Anyway, our first time out two weeks ago was kind of a rough row for me. We had some coaching and I think I just got sort of overwhelmed by the volume of information being directed at me on top of the fact that I hadn’t been on the water for six months. This Monday’s row was 100% better. I asked the coach to help me focus on two or three things I could do to improve and he did a very good job of giving me focused direction. It was sort of a weird weather night on the water – thunderstorms were bearing down, so we had kind of a choppy ride. This group is pretty competitive and I think I will learn an awful lot rowing with them. I think they’re going to bump up my game.
Ava’s transition to the Butterfly (or FlyFly as she says) room is complete and she’s weathering it just like a champ. She seems very happy with the move, which is probably a nice tribute to the teachers and the process they use. I’ve especially enjoyed watching her continue to bloom this week – she’s really taking on older, increasingly little girl mannerisms. She started to repeat sentences like ‘where is it’ or ‘where did it go’ although I don’t think she really understands what she’s saying. Increasingly she’s making her preferences known. I’ve always chatted her up, talking to her, narrating the day, asking her questions. But now she’s starting to answer me, repeat my sentences, copy my mannerisms. For example – Sunday we were outside and it was time for lunch. I say “Ava its time to eat, what do you feel like having for lunch.” And she looks at me and says, “uummmm…. noodles. sauce.” Good thing we had some!
I have been puzzling through how to make stressful home times less stressful. For example, it seems like no matter what we do the end of the day sends us into chaos. You know – getting Ava home from daycare, getting Meghan and Lane picked up from school/tennis/friends house, preparing dinner, eating dinner, cleaning up from dinner… I just don’t feel like my best self during that time. Have you seen those inevitable stories on Dateline or such about efficient families/women? The ones where they show a woman using her coupons to buy $150 worth of groceries for $7? They make their grocery list according to the aisles in the grocery store, their pantries are perfectly stocked, their freezers are full of extra casseroles. It makes me feel ashamed. I think I’m pretty well organized and I then I see something like that and realize I’m probably really more like only just barely holding it together. I’m intrigued by this service that is starting in our town where you can pay something like $110 and make 8 dinners, fully prepped, to keep in your freezer. Has anyone ever tried that?
I’m going to close for now – as always, thanks for reading.
Kate
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