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October 23, 2003
It has again been far too long since I last updated. I am also completely and utterly swamped & buried and work, so its laughable that I am writing this entry now, at probably the worst possible time to be avoiding the work that keeps piling up. Ah, well…it is Monday morning and I just cannot face (work) reality yet.
We returned last week from a weeklong vacation in Palm Springs, CA. It was a heavenly week and I would gladly jump on a plane and head back to the desert this instant. My parents, Hana & I flew down a few days before Mike (he had to stay for his coaching job—football game on Friday night he couldn’t miss). Hana & I stayed in my parents condo on the hide-a-bed until Mike arrived, at which time we moved into our own condo. Mike also flew down with my grandmother, and she also had her own unit. Hana was great on the airplane both ways. On the way down, she actually fell asleep before we even taxied down the runway, and woke with only about 30 minutes left until landing. She stayed awake on the whole return flight, but was easily entertained, primarily by the stickers she stuck all over her face (note to readers: don’t let your child do this…. they’re really difficult…and painful...to remove).
My parents bought their condo in Palm Springs about five years ago. In the 80’s, a group of people converted this 1940’s motel (The Iron Tree Inn) into 12 individual condos. They are all either studios or 1-bedroom units in a U-shape, all facing a central courtyard and pool. Over time, some of my parents’ friends started buying them up, and this group of friends (all live in Seattle) own all but two of the units. Now it is rare to visit and not see friends of the family there. They also rent out the units to the public when the owners aren’t visiting. At certain times when all or most of the “owners” and their families are visiting, it is a party every day….everyone’s door is open, everyone sort-of lives communally by the pool in the courtyard, a 6pm cocktail hour, then big family-style dinners followed by an evening relaxing and chatting under the stars. Dreamy.
We spent this last week just relaxing…swimming in the pool, taking long walks through town, reading, basking in the sun, playing cards & dominos, and eating, eating, eating. It was so nice to have a week where I had, essentially, nothing to do but relax and enjoy the company of my family. I really think I could be successful living a life of leisure. I know that some people thrive on work, but I don’t think I’m one of them! Haha. I think I could remain quite happy and content just spending my time as I wish—spending time with Hana, Mike, family, friends, walking, swimming, reading, eating…aaah. It was very luxurious. Being there with my parents was extra-special because Hana was always entertained and engaged, and I could take a few breaks to read, nap, hike the hills (alone, in peace!). Most importantly, Mike & I got to go on a few romantic dates because my parents were more than happy to watch Hana and let us slip away. Something about that hot desert air and being on vacation made for a couple of very fun, sultry evenings that we reveled in—carousing about downtown Palm Springs, long candlelight dinner, too many cocktails, dancing to live music….it was such fun!
Coming back to work after just a week of vacation was a really difficult transition for me…still is difficult actually. My department is short-staffed as it is, so I came back to a lot of headaches, a lot of complaining, and just a lot of work. Yuck. Given my frequent rambling & whining about my work situation, you can probably gather that I’m not thrilled to be here right now…but I’m still holding out. I have my hopes up that someday soon we’ll be in a financial position for me to have the flexibility to either stay-home for awhile, or to find a job that I really enjoy and find meaning in.
Earlier this year, Mike joined the Ballard Kiwanis in order to become charitably involved in the community in which he works, and to hopefully establish some more connections with other local businessmen and women. The organization focuses on serving under-served children, and is primarily comprised of businessmen & women who donate their time & energy to various charitable causes and events.
We attended a Kiwanis dinner one evening earlier this fall, held at the College Club in (downtown) Seattle. Mike had warned me to expect lots of “graytops,” as he calls them. And it was true, a good portion of them were, honestly 80+ years old. There were several couples in their 40s or 50s, and a few high school students who have been involved with the organization. Mike & I were definitely the only couple under 40 though. I had a magnificent evening. It was so incredible to speak to these men & women who have been serving their community through Kiwanis for 50 or 60 years, who have so much life experience between them, and so many wonderful stories and such deep insight into our world today. I walked away from that evening in such awe of these people, and with such reverence for them. I could sense how much they loved telling their stories and their histories to a ‘younger generation’ and I, in turn, learned so much just from my brief conversations with them. It is sad to think of how much important history and wisdom is lost when elderly people die and take all of their memories and history with them. It is sad that most of us (myself included) don’t have or find the time to sit down with our own grandparents, neighbors or acquaintances and really listen to them. It sounds so cliché, but it is true that they have so much to teach us.
I was particularly interested to hear their perceptions on our world today—how much busier we are, how our world is so fast-paced and our lives are filled to capacity with hectic schedules. I was so impressed by all that their Kiwanis group does for the community of Ballard (where Mike works), and I kept asking WHY these types of altruistic & social organizations seem to be dying out. My questions were met by the same response, over & over: people are just too busy these days. Most businessmen & women are too busy to take an hour or two out of each workweek to serve the underserved in their own communities by hands-on giving, rather than simply writing a check. Most families are too overwhelmed by other commitments (two-working-parents, soccer practice, piano lessons, baseball, etc.) to give their time charitably on the weekends or evenings.
These 80-year old men & women uniformly expressed a deep sadness at our society’s rush-rush method of living today, and the way that technology has made everything urgent. They all seemed passionate to impress upon Mike & me (I assume because we were the youngest people there) that life really didn’t use to be this way--that although the “old days” were far from perfect, riddled with war and depressed economies and civil/social injustices—their families lived modestly, weren’t so consumed with all that is material, didn’t have their children tied to a million & one activities each afternoon, and had the time to embrace family time, community involvement and altruistic activity. They said that most people today soothe their conscience by writing a check (to charities) rather than by becoming involved, giving their time, and serving people within their own communities.
I am as guilty as anyone of getting caught up in my own crazy life/schedule, but those senior citizens really inspired me to become more involved in some form of charity work…probably through my church. Of course, it has been over a month since that dinner, and have I made any progress? Um, nope. But the desire is still there…
To update on Hana…let’s see. She loved swimming in Palm Springs. My mom bought her some water wings, which she initially HATED--would see us coming at her with them and throw herself violently on the pool deck (she had the same initial reaction to her lifejacket earlier this summer). Upon discovering that she could swim by herself with them though, her opinion changed. She did primarily ‘swim’ by herself for most of the trip (with pool escorts, of course)! Her favorite thing to do was laps across the width of the pool, I kid not. It was vertical, upright kicking and dog paddle, but I count that as ‘swimming’ for a 1 and half year old! She also really liked jumping from the side, but we had to watch her because she would get so over zealous that she would jump right in even if no one was there to catch her. She still doesn’t particularly love dunking her whole head under, but loves to just put her face in and show everyone how she can “get her eyes wet,” and also loves to blow bubbles, which is really more similar to lapping up water.
After spending so much time in the pool with Hana while on vacation, I decided that after she finishes the current swim lessons in which she’s enrolled, we’re taking a break on the lessons for awhile. She is very comfortable in the water, knows some very basic safety skills such as always going back to the wall or stairs if she needs to rest, how to kick & paddle to move herself in the water, how to backfloat (although she’s not real fond of it), how to “walk” along the pool wall to get to the stairs or ladder, and how to pull herself out of the pool. I’m just not sure there’s much more she’s going to gain from swim lessons at this point, until her motor skills are a bit more advanced to allow her to actually learn some preliminary stroke techniques. She could stand to be more comfortable dunking under water, but I don’t think lessons are necessary for that….its just a matter of taking her to open swim and practicing bobs and such (which she LOVES—but instead of putting her head all the way under water, she just puts her face in).
Hana has a few more words, although most are only decipherable by Mike, her grandparents & me (the people who are with her most often). Her favorites are (in addition to the standard mama & dada): apple, cracker, kitty, pumpkin, purse, hi, again, football, ball, grandma, grandpa (papa), moon, bus, baby, up, down, boobie, diaper, ouch, waffle, yogurt, banana, teddy, bath, light and my personal favorite, “yeah.” The “yeah” just kills me every time she says it because I swear I’m talking to a pre-teen or something, ie. “Hana, would you like an apple?” and she distractedly looks over her should to mutter “yeah,” and quickly turns back to her book or stack of Legos.
Hana is a big climber, which is an exhausting habit for (for me). Playgrounds are precarious territory because she is never satisfied with a simple sandbox or toddler slide….instead I find her scrambling up the rock wall (I’m not joking…Mike & I took her to the opening of a new school playground in Ballard and Mike literally had to pull her down from the ROCK CLIMBING WALL designed for 4th & 5th graders) or trying to maneuver the rope ladder. And I’ll admit—she’s good, she’s coordinated. But she’s NOT ready for those types of feats yet—she gets herself stuck, falls or doesn’t know how to get down. I hate feeling like the nervous first-time mom who anxiously follows her child all over the park….but what’s a mom to do?! I can’t let her climb 10 feet in the air as I sit casually sipping a latte either…for her own safety AND let’s be honest here, my own social standing is at stake here too. When I do let Hana test her physical boundaries, I see the eyes’ of other moms’ darting around, glancing nervously at me with the urgent sense that I’m not properly watching out for my child. Phew, all this and we’ve only just made it to the playgrounds. We have so much more in store when we hit preschool, elementary school, team sports, high school—yikes! Back to the climbing—a few weeks ago Mike had our ladder out in the front yard, and we both watched as Hana casually sauntered up to it, placed her feet on the bottom step, glanced over her shoulder (waiting for the “NO!” I presume), and started heading up. Mike stood behind her but didn’t help her, and she climbed so quickly to the top step that we both just stood with our mouths hanging open. I took her about 5 seconds. Yikes. In the house she tests us all the time by climbing on the coffee table, the dining room table, the beds, the toilet, the countertops. To give credit where it is due, she IS getting better lately—she knows that climbing on furniture & countertops is a no-no and is starting to cave to our discipline (hahaha, knock on wood!).
She has been a big stair climber for quite some time, but now she loves to test herself walking DOWN stairs. She’s not satisfied to turn around and crawl down anymore, and protests when we suggest that she do so. No, she has to WALK down, just like a real big girl (albeit holding onto the wall or railing if she can reach it).
Perhaps Mike had a sixth-sense when he took down her crib and put her toddler bed in. In all honesty, he took the crib down simply because she hated it. But we’ve since learned that she can climb out of a crib so it was probably a good idea anyway. She marveled her grandparents with this handy skill one evening when she stayed at their house (mom & dad went out). My mom rocked her to sleep in her arms and placed her in the crib, then went downstairs. About an hour later she heard the “patter patter patter” of Hana’s little feet slapping the kitchen floor as she ran in to the family room smiling triumphantly. She had managed to climb out of the crib, jump or perhaps dangle (?) to the floor, and walk downstairs without my parents’ even hearing her. They put her back up there and asked her to perform for them, to no avail. Hmmph.
Hana is obsessed with tents & blanket forts. I introduced her to the fun of making a “tent” under the blankets in bed, and since that day, she is forever burrowing into any bed she finds shouting “ta ta ta (tent tent tent!)!” She also knows that I keep our extra blankets in a cedar chest in her room and will pull me anxiously by the hand to the chest and point frantically. This is her signal for me to make her a blanket fort—you remember the kind—chairs & blankets strewn all over the living room? She loves it, and will play or read contentedly in her little secret forts by herself, but really likes to pull mom & dad in and have us sit with her as she smugly looks around in admiration of her secret haven.
The condos in Palm Springs had large closets with sliding doors, and Hana adored hiding in those closets. If she went missing in the condo for any period of time, we knew just where to find her. Go slide back one of those closet doors, and there she would be, sitting quietly on the floor of the dark closet, smiling mischievously with twinkling eyes.
For all of her climbing & running and physical prowess (stereotypically “male” attributes), Hana can also be a very girly-girl. For a couple of weeks she insisted on carrying her shimmery iridescent purse everywhere with her. On a typical morning I am usually rushing us out the door, and there have been several times that Hana has adamantly refused to leave until we find her purse (“puh”). She prefers to have the purse casually slung across her body (not the standard over-the-shoulder)--which is exactly how I wear my own. Funny the things she picks up on.
She also frequently insists on wearing her headband, a pastel number with a small bow that usually doesn’t coordinate with anything else she has (except perhaps the shimmery purple purse).
Her baby (doll) has also been a constant companion (until we left her at Melissa & Ella’s house last week), and Hana is so sweet with her baby it sometimes brings tears to my eyes. Although the baby gets her fair share of being tossed around, thrown and dropped in the dirt, Hana also spends a lot of time tending to her baby—hugging & kissing her, patting her back, putting her to bed, feeding her (ie. with spoon), carting her around in a stroller or wagon, and even nursing her! While we were in Palm Springs Hana’s baby got some purple marks on her head (I think they are smudges of ink from a receipt), and these marks were SO disconcerting to Hana that she could focus on little else. We all tried desperately to remove them, but to no avail. Luckily Hana either forgot about them or just grew used to it, and the purple marks ceased to make her so distraught.
She’s fallen full-fledged into the Do It Myself stage. No longer can I feed her, dress her or diaper her without her help or her insistence that she do it herself. She is most adamant about feeding herself and about pulling her own pants up…these two tasks, in Hana’s mind, now rest solely in her hands. Speaking of those hands—they’re constantly getting in the way of my diapering, as she always has them between her legs, trying to “help” by folding the diaper, pulling it up around her body, even trying to help me pin it (yes, I still use the old fashioned pin method)! She calls diaper pins “Ouches” though, so you can plainly see that her pinning hasn’t been a successful endeavor.
Hana has also become quite a household helper of late. Dusting, scrubbing the floors and washing the windows rank high on her list of favorite chores. These are also my favorites because she can’t actually do much damage while “helping.” Alternatively, her preferences for unloading the dishwasher, pushing the vacuum and unloading the dryer end up creating more work for me….but a mom can’t be too picky I suppose. Hana spent a good deal of time on the airplane home from Palm Springs “washing” the airplane windows with her wipes—leaving grimy streaks that I’m sure the flight attendants cursed us for. While we were in Palm Springs she wiped all of the wooden window shutters to a sparkling sheen as well. What a thoughtful guest!
In the last week Hana’s Lego skills have made leaps & bounds. Her spatial skills seem to have improved and she can now quickly ascertain how the Lego pieces fit together and is actually building real structures. Ok, ok, so she is simply stacking some Legos on top of one another, not building the Eiffel Tower, but I’m impressed all the same. The other day I was listening to her playing Legos with her dad when I heard him say “OK Hana, let’s build a tower using ALL the Legos in here!” My first thought was “God, what GUY!” Just struck me as such a typically male thing to say, ie. let’s build the BIGGEST tower we can! And, they did. Together Hana & Mike built a structure vaguely resembling a very tall Pentagon, using every last Lego in the (big) bucket. Since then I’ve witnessed Hana playing by herself and attempting what I presume to the same feat. Yesterday she very carefully stacked 14 blocks on top of one another, and then patiently tried over & over again to get it to stand up on the (it was top heavy). Through some rudimentary understanding of basic physics, she realized that it wasn’t going to happen, carefully pulled off 6 of the blocks and then successfully stood the smaller tower up on the table. I was blown away by my little architect!
Does anyone out there know where I might find some relatively cheap toddler-sized cowboy boots? So far I’ve only scoured a few thrift stores (no luck), and I haven’t checked in any costume type stores, so I may find them there. But if anyone has any other suggestions, please post on my board. I’m hoping to dress Hana up as a cowgirl for Halloween, since we already have a hat, bandana & jeans, and she would make a mighty cute cowgirl.
There are a few posts on my board that I still haven’t gotten to, and I apologize to you. I will get to them as soon as I can (as I watch the pile of paperwork on my desk growing & morphing…)! Take care & if I don’t post again before then (really though, I do hope to)—Happy Halloween!
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