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September 5, 2003
Funny how life works.
In my last entry I waxed on (and on) about where we shall reside, long-term, to raise our family (a big issue to us, but no one else---we’re only debating a few miles here—not east coast vs. west coast or anything so exciting). I was primarily discussing the merits of raising our kids in the city, rather than in a suburb, and also my thoughts on schooling/education if we do choose to stay in the city limits.
In another previous entry (several months back) I wrote about the neighborhood I grew up in, Sheridan Beach. It was, in essence, a wonderful place to grow up, and I have always imagined myself raising my own family there. It is only recently that I’ve really considered (seriously) other options.
Anyway… after spending several hours getting my thoughts about raising our kids in Seattle down on paper (in my diary), I got a call from my mom.
Let me back up a bit. My parents & grandmother still live in Sheridan Beach (my parents actually live just outside of, but close enough) — a suburban neighborhood 15 minutes from downtown Seattle. My grandma’s house sits on a hill about 3 blocks above Lake Washington, and has a spectacular 180-degree view of the lake, Mt. Rainier, and the Cascades (mountain range). It is a charming house. Not-too-big, not-too-small. The entry hall and one living room wall are paneled floor-to ceiling with beautiful mahogany (sounds dark & dreary, but the living room is basically a wall-of-windows looking out over the lake, so its actually a bright room). The upstairs is an entry, kitchen, living room, 2 baths & 3 bedrooms. The kitchen is updated. The bathrooms have their original tiling. 2 of the bedrooms are spacious, 1 is small, but just-right for a child. The downstairs is a big ground-level family room. Big picture windows look out over a charming little yard (overlooking the vast lake view) with a manicured lawn and mature landscaping (with a great climbing tree that I LOVED as a little girl). Wooden steps lead from the lawn, over a terraced garden to the sidewalk-lined street below. Off of the family room is a door that leads to a laundry room & storage room. The rest of the lower level is a 1-bedroom mother-in-law apartment with its own separate entrance. My grandparents have always rented this out to various tenants and gotten decent rental income from it. It’s a charming little apartment—hardwood floors, tiled kitchen & bath, fireplace, etc.
My grandfather passed away in 1989, and my grandmother has continued to live in her house & rent out the MIL. She is a very active & sprightly 77-year old, and enjoys her independence. Her ideal scenario was to someday move into the MIL apartment in her house, and have someone from the family move into the main house. My mom’s brother & his wife passed up the opportunity, and I can understand why. It would be hard to move back into the house you grew up in, with your mother living below (he’s married with 2 grade-school aged kids). My parents are also very settled into their own house. My mom’s other brother & his wife live in Texas, so they’re obviously not moving in. All of the grandkids are still in middle school or gradeschool, so they’re not moving in anytime soon either. So…Mike & I have always said that we would LOVE to take her up on that idea if/when she is ever ready. We would, of course, be buying the house from her, and therein lies the problem: it is outside of our price range right at this point in our lives. My grandma, however, has been so independent, healthy & happy living in her house, Mike & I had really tabled the idea altogether, assuming she might just stay there indefinitely.
About 2 weeks ago my grandma’s house got broken into (she wasn’t home). They stole some of her jewelry and a few other odds & ends. Heartbreaking (esp the jewelry), but in the end we’re all just thankful no one got hurt. But anyway, the break-in has just made my grandma more aware of her vulnerability, living alone in a big house. She told my mom she was ready for a change, for a more secure scenario, and asked if Mike & I might still be interested in discussing her house.
Honestly about 5 minutes after I posted my entry about the merits of living in Seattle city-limits, my mom called and asked if Mike & I are still interested in the idea of buying grandma’s house, with her living in the MIL. I was surprised, since I honestly thought that whole idea had been forgotten. But my enthusiasm wasn’t dimmed…YES!! We would definitely still be interested! We love the house, we love the neighborhood, and I love the idea of creating such an ideal living situation for my grandma (as well as for us!). The problem, however, is that it still remains (significantly) out of our price range.
My grandma is aware of this, and so we’re all planning to get together soon to discuss our options. Ideally we can find a way to buy the house from her over time, with balloon payments as our income gets higher--or something along those lines. We need to make it fair & equitable though, given that there are 3 children (my mom & her 2 brothers) and 5 other grandchildren in the picture. It is an awkward thing, because the issue that all of this skirts around is, to put it bluntly, “who gets what when you (grandma) pass away.” If we do find a way to buy the house from her ‘over time,’ We need to be very careful that everyone understands what we’re doing and that it is fair for all parties involved.
It is definitely not a sure-thing, but we’re talking it through, and very excited about the prospect. Time will tell.
IF we do end up moving to Sheridan Beach/Lake Forest Park, my whole outlook on schooling/education changes (from what I wrote about last time). The public schools (Shoreline School District) in this area are really great—consistent award winners for innovative programs, high test scores, etc. If we moved into Sheridan Beach, our children would go to Brookside Elementary, which is a wonderful school (and also where I went!).
The school has several really neat, innovative programs, in addition to the students consistently testing high (state standardized testing) on the basics-reading, math, listening, comprehension, etc.). The biggest, ongoing “alternative”-tyoe project is a twenty-year watershed-restoration project that includes raising salmon & daylighting the stream (that runs through the school property), and building an environmentally safe observation deck for science lessons. This project was started when I was in second or third grade, and I vividly recall wondering what all the hoopla was about. Now I understand what a very cool thing they are doing with the students.
The students at Brookside also monitor weather systems with King-5’s (local tv station) “First-Alert” Weather System, and post the data they collect on the school’s website. Additionally, they created a seismic observatory with help from a University of Washington geophysics professor, and the kids monitor world and local seismic activity & post on the web. The students also run their own daily closed-circuit TV news broadcast.
The parents & PTA are very active. They provide banking for students, many after-school activities, cultural enrichment activities (including bringing art docents to the school monthly), social events and fundraisers. They also create programs for outdoor lessons focused on environmental awareness. It is a very community-oriented school. The kids all come from the same area as well (I think its probably about a 1-mile radius!) so that adds to the community feel.
I also like the middle & high school, although they’re big schools (middle school is 800 kids, high school is 1700 kids). Like the elementary, they also employ very innovative programs, including strong student leadership programs, service-projects that integrate students with a community business or service-organization of their choice, a community-service graduation requirement, a senior project/thesis graduation requirement. Both the high school & middle school have honors/AP Programs (may not apply to us, but hopefully it will! I got sooooo much out of my AP classes and they were wonderful college-prep). Shorecrest (the high school…again, where Mike & I met) is known & recognized statewide for its’ visual & performing arts, including drama program, jazz band, and marching band. They also have a strong & varied athletics program, and every extracurricular activity/committee/organization I could ever imagine. The biggest drawback for me is that both the middle & high school ‘discipline’ policies are rather liberal. It just seems to be now like there weren’t enough rules, and the rules that did exist weren’t enforced enough. For example, the high school has an open campus, which was great for me in high school. Now, though, I realize that being able to leave campus anytime (in my yellow ’74 Bug that I miss so much!) to perform various & sundry activities (you don’t want to know) was NOT a good thing. Not something I necessarily want for my own kids anyway. Why anyone feels high-schoolers need to have an ‘open campus’ policy is beyond me. I’m sure a majority of the kids didn’t abuse the privilege. But there were plenty of us who did. And it was great fun. But I don’t necessarily want my little Hana to have the same ‘opportunity.’ Of course I hope & pray I raise her to always make safe, smart, sound, responsible decisions on her own. But I’m not fooling myself, and I know part of being a teenager is experimenting. I’d just like her school to provide safe boundaries in which she can do so, just as we will do so at home.
All that said, I’m hoping I can hear from some people out there who attended small-ish private schools. My own experience was in public schools (Mike too), so that is really all I can draw on. Even if we do move to Lake Forest Park, I’m not ruling out entirely the idea of a private Catholic education. Because the public schools in that area are strong, its less likely, but still a possibility. I do, however, want to hear feedback from those who have gone to small schools growing up. So, from those with experience...looking back, what are the benefits & drawbacks of attending smaller schools? As the child/student (not the parent), how did you feel about it?
I recently prepared a Telecommuting Proposal for my division. Every one of the associates that I ‘manage’ (God I hate that word, but I can’t come up with a better one) is a parent. Two are single moms. Three commute at least an hour a day to work here in downtown Seattle. All could easily perform their job from home with the appropriate equipment. Our company ( of 200+ employees) is technologically-equipped to establish telecommuting. But it is not common practice. Most managers & sales staff have network access from home (including myself), but still Telework is not SOP by any means.
So, I created this huge 70-page proposal (much of it was supporting research/documents, sample contracts & agreements, etc.) and presented it to the VP of my division. And he LOVED it! I was quite nervous to present it and was really expecting a rather blunt ‘nope, sorry.’ But instead he was impressed & awed by the work & thought I put into it. He is presenting it next week to the Board of Directors!
My main ‘arguments’ in favor of telework are for retention & recruiting. The unit that I manage is a customer service unit, where the employees are paid competitively but not highly. The company simply cannot afford to pay these folks more, and we are competitive so alls-fair. That said, we need to find low-cost ways to be able to recruit & retain quality people. The associates we have here now ARE quality, and I’d like to find ways to keep them here and ways to find work/life balance for everyone. I myself would also really love the option of telecommuting on a part-time basis (so this was all a bit selfish too-haha).
If this does get approved & implemented, it will definitely be a career highlight. I have strong feelings about work/life balance, and my inclination always has been and always will be to err on the side of ‘life’ not work. I hate seeing fellow associates’ lives ruled by work, particularly the two single moms I work with. One of them leaves her house at 6am each day, drops her son off at daycare, makes an hour-2 hour commute in to Seattle (her dream was to buy a house, which she did…but it was an hour’s drive—with no traffic-- from Seattle in order for her to afford it), works an 8-10 hour day, and gets to her son’s daycare around 7pm each night (after sitting in traffic for over and hour). That doesn’t sit right with me. I want to find ways to help her find more balance in her life and find more time to be with her son. Hopefully telecommuting will allow for that. And will allow another associate, R, to spend more time with her own TWO children, and to achieve her dream of being available to drive them to soccer practice, instead of being stuck in I-5 at that time. And to allow another associate, D, to have more time with his kids and his wife. And to allow me a more flexible work schedule, without time spent commuting. If I succeed in getting this implemented, I’ll really feel like I made an important contribution to the lives of several parents; a contribution that will hopefully allow them more time with their kids and a more balanced work life. Its not earth-shattering or revolutionary, but I will be on cloud 9 if it flies!
Although I don’t plan to have another baby anytime soon, I’ve been thinking a lot about the next time I do get pregnant…or more specifically, give birth. Hana was born in an independent birth center with (licensed) midwives. It was a wonderful experience and I was/am very happy with the choices I made (related to her birth).
Next time, however, I am considering having my baby in the University of Washington Hospital, in the Midwifery Practice. Essentially, the practice consists of 4 midwives and you meet with all of them throughout your pregnancy. They are Nurse-Midwives, not Licensed Midwives. You also have your baby IN the hospital birthing suites, but the midwives are in attendance and deliver your baby (short of any complications requiring an OB, etc.).
There are all sorts of things to consider about this (or any, really) option. There are also all sorts of factors that lead me to consider this as an option. I also consider other options, including homebirth and another birth center birth. There’s even the chance I could end up with an OB/hospital for reasons beyond my control. Some other time I’ll get into all the factors that lead me to the idea of delivering at UW Hospital under their Midwifery Practice…but I’m too tired today. J
I’m posting about this though, to see if perhaps there are any readers out there who have had a birth center birth (or home birth even) followed by a hospital birth. If so, I would absolutely love to hear about your experiences and how they differed and/or were similar. Please share!
Over the summer I have gotten very remiss about my meal planning. Most nights we end up throwing something easy on the BBQ—fish or meat & grilled veggies of some sort, or a green salad. BBQing is one of the things I love about summer, but I must be honest & say I’m getting tired of it. I’m ready to freshen up my meal planning skills for the fall/winter, and am looking forward to some heartier dinners---stews, roasts, root veggies, hearty soups, chili, etc. Last winter/spring I was really good about planning dinners for the week and doing a big grocery shop early in the week (usually Sunday). It made dinnertime much less stressful and all but eliminated those last-minute rushes to the grocery store at 5pm. Over the summer I’ve gotten into a more frenzied (unplanned) routine, but I hope to get myself organized again. I’ve started pulling out our favorite recipes in preparation, and it makes me excited for the seasons ahead.
Last year we threw some pumpkin seeds in the yard, and now we have an enormous pumpkin vine growing in our front yard. It’s huge! So far I don’t see any pumpkins though, so I’m not sure that it was pollinated. My (limited) understanding is that the female “flower” has to fertilize the male “flower” to create a pumpkin—otherwise you just get a big vine with gaudy (but cool) yellow flowers. I think we may have flowers & no pumpkins but we’ll see. Even if we do get pumpkins though, I’m insisting on a trip to the Pumpkin Patch/Corn Maze this year—for the fun & for the photo op!
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It is Friday afternoon and I’m getting ready to head out of here (work). Seattle continues to have the most incredible warm weather—very unusual for here. I think we’ve had 57 consecutives days over 70 degrees or something. Hana’s at her Grandma’s (my MIL) today. The three of us are going to Richmond Beach (on Puget Sound) this afternoon when I get there to walk on the beach & play in the sand. Later we’re picking up some take-out for dinner, and at 7pm we head to the stadium for Shorecrest’s first game of the season! (Mike is the receiver coach for our high school football team). On Saturday afternoon we’re going to Tacoma to visit our rental property and do some general maintenance, mow the lawn, etc. We may meet Mike’s cousin and her daughter for a trip to the Point Defiance Zoo. No plans for Sunday other than Mass in the morning…it’s supposed to start raining that day, but if its nice we may take the boat our for a final spin of the summer…
Hope everyone has a nice weekend!
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