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August 29, 2003
I got a well-deserved email from iParenting Diaries scolding me for not updating my diary frequently enough. Actually, it wasn’t a scolding at all…just a pleasant & polite email reminding me to please update at least every 3 weeks, or adios diary. So, here I am, bribed into posting an entry (just kidding--I’ve been meaning to anyway).
COPY CAT
Hana is a total copycat these days. She’s like those annoying kids on the playground who used to mimic everything you did, until you smacked them upside the head (and the playground attendant sent you to The Wall to stand in penance) or tattle-taled. Actually, she’s much cuter and more charming than those annoying children, what am I saying?
Hana walks around the house, the playground, the park, the yard, the store….anywhere, with my cell phone attached to her ear, chatting to some imaginary caller. Nice example I’m setting, eh?
Most adorable is when she gets a hold of a camera and runs around ‘taking pictures’ of everyone.
She is particularly fond of close-ups…like, RIGHT IN YOUR FACE type close ups. Click, click. She does not actually know how to operate the camera, but she’s got all the motions down pat.
I really don’t wear much makeup, but I do dab on a little concealer, mascara and lip gloss every morning. Hana is IN LOVE with my make up bag, and parades around the house dabbing the makeup sponge on her cheek and rolling the mascara tube across her eyes. That mascara tube is actually now a forbidden fruit, since she knows how to open it and already smeared some on our poor, battered berber (if & when I choose flooring, I think I’m sticking with Pergo. EVERYWHERE. Its hard to dent or scratch and you can wipe/sweep spills. My carpet is the bane of my existence). And my chapstick…she loves to smear my chapstick all over her face. I used to give it to her in the car to play with, until the day she learned to take off the cap and was absolutely covered in chapstick goo.
I have a little household helper who loves to set the table and unload the dishwasher. I do, however, see the irony in the fact that once she is actually able to successfully help with these activities, she will no longer want to. For now, she is joyous at the suggestion. All utensils from the dishwasher are ‘unloaded’ right onto the kitchen floor. Setting the table involves moving every plastic kiddie plate, cup, spoon, bowl, toy, random object from the kitchen and placing them strategically around the coffee table. She even knows to go to the right drawer for the napkins (we use cloth, hence the drawer), which she sets carefully and with great ceremony on the coffee table.
Stacking is a recent obsession of Hana’s. I got her some Duplo-type Legos, and I think that’s what started it (although she still can’t successfully ‘hook’ them together). Everything needs to be stacked, including round objects that just don’t stack well, frustrating her to no end.
POTTY PRACTICE
In recent weeks Hana has begun squatting (while in diapers), often in a private corner, when she has to poop (but not always, just on occasion when she’s feeling particularly private, I guess). So I’ve been letting her run around with no pants in the yard lately. Taking advantage of the last weeks of warm, summer weather and perhaps getting a head start on the potty training idea. I was quite impressed about two weeks ago when she squatted in a corner of the yard and pooped right there. Hooray, I said. She acknowleged her poop very excitedly, and I shared in her joy because at least she was recognizing the event. Last week we were sitting in the front yard admiring the clouds, the flowers, the trees, the cars passing by, just waiting for daddy to come home from work. Hana (in full dress) squatted down very intently near me, and I had no doubt what she was doing. I asked “are you going poop?” and she nodded, very seriously. “Let’s go to your potty!” I said jauntily, and scooped her up. Got her to the potty, pulled down the pants & diaper, set her on the potty chair. And she did it! She pooped in the potty! Then the walls came crashing down as she sobbed and tried to run away from the potty. My first thought was that I have scarred her forever, she will be anal-retentive and not potty train until she’s five. I quickly cleaned her up, got a new diaper on, and left the poop to show her father (gross, I know…but parents will understand). Well, daddy came in the door a few moments later and I asked Hana to show her daddy what she did in her potty. Apparently she had forgotten her fright, and proudly followed her daddy to the potty chair in the bathroom. Mike lifted up the lid, grimaced, recovered, and said “WOW! Did you go poop in your potty??” with a big smile. Hana looked down. Looked at her father. Smiled very big. And applauded herself---clap, clap, clap. That’s my girl! We then made a family ceremony out of saying bye-bye to the poop and flushing it away. About an hour later she went looking in her potty again and was very bewildered that we hadn’t saved that poop. She kept lifting the lid & looking in there, then looking up at me with a very confused “eh??” We haven’t had another successful potty trip since then, but you can bet I’ll keep trying. I wrote an entry long ago about how easy washing your own (cloth) diapers is. I suppose it is still relatively easy, but it gets more disgusting each wash. I’m certain I won’t be sad to say goodbye to the diaper days…
AMERICAN GIRL
Hana is absolutely obsessed with flags of any sort. Her favorite is the American Flag, and she goes crazy every time she sees one. But really, any flag sends her into gleeful fits of pointing and “eh, eh, eh-ing!” She can spot an American flag miles away, long before I figure out what she is actually pointing to. Mike bought her a real, big American flag for her first birthday, and it hangs outside our front door (making our house appear most definitively to shelter an elderly couple, since we have sea-green siding and a flag…the only thing we’re missing is Astroturf on our front porch). When not in use, we very patriotically store it behind our coach. On the floor. Hana knows it’s there, and will often drag unsuspecting visitors over there, pointing frantically and ‘eh, eh, eh-ing” to the confused guest until we drag it out and put it up outside.
CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY
I have learned the hard way to be careful what I say. No, I’m not talking about cursing…although as soon as Hana speaks, that is sure to be a problem. No, I mean saying things like “today you’re going to school,” or “we’re going to go for a walk later” or “daddy will be home soon.” Hana understands only IMMEDIACY. If I say we’ll go for a walk later, she is literally standing by the front door with her shoes in hand, waiting anxiously. If I say today she gets to see Miss Wendy (her teacher at daycare), she will be searching for my car keys, ready to go. If I mention ‘daddy,’ she is standing by the front door, peering excitedly through the screen for any sight of him. I’ve learned to keep these events to myself, until they are happening NOW.
ISLAND WEEKEND
On August 9 we went to Orcas Island for a wedding (the wedding of one of my college roommates). We took the 90-minute ferry ride up in the late afternoon, and arrived about 2 hours before the wedding (which was at 6pm). Hana made some fast friends on the ferry and chased them around while Mike & I played cribbage. She also become absolutely obsessed with the fire hose on board and we had to literally drag her away, kicking & screaming. Yikes. She was also fascinated with the drip-drip-dripping of a drainage pipe on deck. Never mind the beautiful scenery passing by, Hana wanted to get down and examine that thrilling drain pipe for 20 minutes.
Mike & I had talked about camping in the San Juan Islands before summer even started. When we received the invite to this wedding, I booked a room at a little inn, but Mike & I later decided to “make good” on our promise (to each other) to camp this summer, so we cancelled the inn reservation and instead reserved a campsite at Moran State Park, just down the road from Rosario Resort (locale of the wedding). The campgrounds were beautiful—situated on a quiet lake with lots of hiking trails and a life-guarded swim area with docks, rental boats, a slide and a diving board. We’ll have to go back again, since this was the Shortest Camping Trip Ever. We quickly set up our tent and unpacked our things, then got changed for the wedding. This was most certainly a new experience….changing into my finery in a campground! I got some really dirty looks from a group of twenty-something women as I walked to the campground bathroom in my ‘little black dress” and heels. I refrained from explaining myself and chuckled at what they must be saying about the idiot who wears heels to the campground bathroom.
Hana was really good at the wedding (hard to believe). She sat relatively quietly through the whole thing, eating her Kix! The ceremony was outside on a grassy area overlooking the bay. It was stunningly, breathtakingly gorgeous. Very picturesque, and luckily the weather cleared up just in time for the ceremony. The reception was VERY fancy, in a big tent by the water--top-knotch everything, including five-course dinner, served individually to everyone, followed by raspberry cheesecake and THEN chocolate & white wedding cake with delicious coffee. There was even a kids’ table, complete with buckets of crayons, butcher paper, big gourmet lollipops (I mean, these were fancy lollipops!) and glass jars of multi-colored sugar crystals. Wow. It was very fun, and Hana was even nice enough to fall sound asleep in her careseat under the table, so we could enjoy the evening with old friends! We got back to our campsite about midnight, and Hana transferred nicely into the tent without even waking up! We got up early the next morning with no provisions at all (this was the most whirlwind camping trip I’ve ever been on). We drove into town, wandered through the quaint little shops & cafes, got some coffee and breakfast, and hopped on the 10 am ferry. From there, we headed north to Bellingham (where we went to college) to visit some high school friends who just had an adorable baby boy, Braden. Hana was very enamored with Braden and showered him with (too-zealous) kisses while I anxiously swatted her away.
DOCTOR, DOCTOR, GIVE ME THE NEWS
Wednesday (8/27) was Hana’s 15 month check-up. Nothing too exciting to report on that except her stats. I have since misplaced the paper on which they wrote her height, weight, etc. and have also forgotten what the #s were. I do recall, though, that she is over 95th % for height, 50th % for weight, and 75th % for head circumference. This visit punctuated for me (again) how happy I am that we switched to a new pediatrician. She is wonderful, her staff is wonderful, the office is cheerful and bright with tons of toys in the waiting area. It is a 150% improvement from the last pediatrician. I only wish I would have switched sooner.
I recently went back and re-read all of my old entries, and reading them reminded me of a few things I’ve wanted to write about and/or follow-up on. So here goes.
CITY KIDS
Awhile back I wrote an entry about the neighborhood in which I grew up, and what a wonderful area it is, and how much I would like to raise my own kids there. Well, all of that is still true, but I’m also feeling a really strong pull to stay in the city (Seattle) rather than in a suburb and to raise my kids here (where we live now…or nearby). Mind you, we are not right in the city, in the sense of being surrounded by highrises and offices. We’re not in downtown. We’re in the north end of Seattle, close to the University of Washington Campus, Lake Washington, and a multitude of wonderful little neighborhoods & enclaves. In high school & part of college, I was a lifeguard at a summer beach club in a very established (expensive) neighborhood near the area we live now. It was the most fantastic of jobs, and one of those very-memorable life experiences. Most of the other lifeguards lived nearby, in Seattle (I lived in Lake Forest Park, which is only about 15 minutes north of there…but often felt like world away—much more Suburbia than City).
Anyway, one of the very best things about this job was meeting new friends outside of my high school group, and being exposed to their social life….their parties, their hang-outs, etc. I was always a little envious that they lived in the city and had this sense that they were a bit more urbane, a bit more well-versed in city life than I. My boyfriend went to a different high school than I (I met him through my swim team in Mill Creek which is even farther north & more suburban than where I grew up). But although he lived in suburbia, he attended a private Catholic high school in the city, and I just loved hanging out with his friends. Because it was private, kids came from all over the city, and most of his friends lived in various neighborhoods in Seattle. It was such a different experience than I had, where all of my friends basically lived a stone’s throw away from each other. Now that has its own advantages, but I really did love the more varied social scene of the kids who lived in the city. They seemed to know more people. To be totally frank, I think I was most impressed because they had the best parties! There was such a variety of people & backgrounds. A lot of them lived in hip, funky little city neighborhoods, or swankier downtown locales. Some of them were from very wealthy families, others could be labeled as coming from “the wrong side of the tracks.” It was just different. Most of the kids I grew up with lived in some version of the stereotypical 2.5 kids, 3 bedroom house with garage, a cat and a dog type scene. And again, that has its merits, and I still feel the pull to give Hana that same type of safe, comfy, wonderful, suburban(ish) childhood.
But I also feel like we can give her a life closer to the activity and hubbub and variety of the city while also providing a safe & cozy childhood full of fond memories like those I have growing up in Sheridan Beach. I would like for her to have the exposure that only city-living can offer, but I also want it for ME! I love that I can walk a block or two to the grocery store, video store, pub, laundromat, post office, Chinese take-out, café, salon, dentist, etc. I love that there are about 20 fabulous parks & corner playgrounds within a few miles of our house, from neighborhood pocket playgrounds, to the most popular & crowded (but fantastically wonderful) park/lake/walking trail/sport fields/kiddie pool at Greenlake, to the vast & sprawling woodsy trails and fields at Ravenna Park, to the grassy lakefront Matthew’s Beach, with high dives and playgrounds (and more). I love that the remarkable University Village (a village-like shopping metropolis, but NOT a mall, thank God) is 5 minutes away, and I can do any & all shopping (window or otherwise) I could ever possibly want to do without ever setting foot in a mall. I love that some of Seattle’s best neighborhoods, from funky to ritzy to campy and homey, surround us. And best of all, the neighborhood we live in now has two (private) summer beach/pool/tennis clubs that we can join (for a price and after a long wait on the wait list) so that Hana (and future sibling(s)) can enjoy (if she/they want to) the same type of carefree summers I had….swimming, chasing lifeguards around, eating Popsicles and having fun in a safe environment.
So we shall see where we end up. We got a fantastic deal on the house we’re in now, but it is small and will only work for so long. I’ve always had a dream of designing and building my own house (not actually myself, but with the help of the appropriate professionals!) and that could be possible someday if we built on the land we already own. I love the idea of building my own little dream cottage and landscaping our land just-so…a sort of urban, cottage garden with fruit trees and hidden pockets and covered front porch. I love older homes, but I also really appreciate ‘fresh & new’ so the idea of building my own little cottage—old (style), but new, is very appealing. Other times we talk about buying another, bigger house nearby. And we also still toss the idea of buying a house in Sheridan Beach around, although we’re both pretty certain we’ll end up staying in the city. I have this urge to just feel completely settled with my family--to figure out where we’re staying long-term and stay put, to know where we’ll be. To build, to buy, to move…whatever. But, alas, we’re not in a financial place to do that right now though, and I also think that when its meant to be, it will be. We’ll figure out just where we plan to stay when the moment is right.
THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND & ROUND
All of this recent talk about where we want to live has prompted us to start thinking about Hana’s schooling & education. I’ve always been a big advocate of public schools. Wait, before I get into this subject, I’m going on a little tangent here. Last night Melissa and I we’re talking over a (read: several) glasses of wine, and discussing how many set-views I had pre-baby about baby-related things (ie. “I will NEVER co-sleep”) and how some things you say you’ll (ok, I’d) never do, you (I) end up doing. A real, live baby/child just changes things so dramatically. It did for me, anyway. So, I mention that because it sort-of relates to this schooling subject. I have always been fairly adamant that my children will go to public schools. I never had anything against private schools at all…I just never saw myself spending the money for private schools when the public schools, in areas where I might have imagined myself living, are perfectly grand.
So guess what? Now Mike & I are really thinking we will probably send Hana to Assumption-St. Bridget, which is a (private) Catholic K-8 school several blocks from our house. Wedgwood Elementary, a perfectly good Seattle Public School, is actually a stone’s throw from our house. We could very well send her there (or some other public school, depending on where we live). But now that I actually have a real-live child here with me, I’m seeing more clearly some of the merits of private schooling. Now I obviously have absolutely nothing against public schools (I’m a fine example of public schooling myself, haha) at all, so this is not any intent to start debate on public v. private. NOT AT ALL. I do, however, have a few gripes about Seattle Public Schools in particular. I’m too lazy to get into them here, but that is part of what spurred Mike & I into this discussion.
For now we both really like the idea of sending Hana to a smaller school, where perhaps there is a tighter sense of community and where many of the parents share similar values (recognizing that exposure to more diversity then becomes an issue we’ll have to work on!). We also really like the idea of K-8 schools, rather than middle school (which is in my opinion just one of the weirdest, hardest, and most influential times in a child’s life..and maybe especially a girl’s life). That just seems right to me. I think a lot of 12-14 year olds just aren’t quite ready to be as grown-up as they feel they have to be once they get to middle school. Plus, Seattle Public Schools have HUGE, enormous middle schools. Again, I feel like that is such a sensitive time…not a time when kids should be thrust into an atmosphere of 1200+ students, large classes & overwhelmed teachers, to compete with all of the other crazy changes happening to them & their bodies.
And to be totally honest, I also absolutely adore the idea of uniforms. Partially because I can just see how darn cute Hana would be in her little pleated plaid skirt & white collared shirt…but primarily because they just make a lot of sense and reduce a whole lot of hassle. I recall so clearly the competition over wardrobe that erupted right around 4th & 5th grade. Blech. I don’t fool myself into thinking I will escape that entirely, but I do like the idea of simplifying the dressing process for school days, as simplistic as that sounds.
Right now Hana & I (Mike isn’t into organized religion) attend St. Mark’s Catholic Church, which is in Lake Forest Park where I grew up. We attend that Church for now b/c that is where I grew up, and that is where my mom & my grandmother still go. I am planning to switch parishes soon though, to either St. Bridget’s or Assumption, which are both nearby our house, and in Seattle. I want to begin setting down roots in this community, and this is one important way (for me) to do so. Assumption & St. Bridget are also the two parishes that feed into the school we’re thinking about enrolling Hana in (for Kindergarten, which seems eons a way), and you get much higher priority status (for being accepted) if you’re a member of one of the parishes.
I’m not an outwardly religious person. It’s a very personal issue for me; not something I preach about or even really talk much about. Parochial schooling is appealing to me primarily in the sense that it espouses some values that Mike & I hold dear, NOT because I need or want Hana to be ‘Catholic to the core’ or anything along those lines. I hope that religion becomes a cornerstone of her spirit, something that gives her strength & faith & community & healing & respect & reverence & awe for life. That is what I’ve drawn from it. I don’t want religion to define her life, but I do hope it will provide her with a positive framework as she develops her own spirit & morality. And I do hope that Hana’s schooling and her upbringing in the Church will help Mike & I raise a compassionate, self-sufficient, passionate, happy adult. I mean this all in the vein of “it takes a village to raise a child.” Everyone’s ‘village’ is different.
My girlfriend Melissa is looking into Waldorf Schooling for her daughter, and I think she is finding in Waldorf much of that same kindred spirit, shared values, and sense of community. I, by the way, think much of the Waldorf philosophy is incredibly interesting, fascinating and just plain right. I makes a lot of sense and I love the earthiness of it, the respect & reverence for nature and natural rhythms and simplicity. A parochial education will probably lack those types of fundamentals, so I intend to present those ideas & values to Hana as well.
I had a teacher, Ms. Culver, in 3rd grade, who had such a strong impression on me. She was so different than any other teacher I had, and now that I think back, a lot of the things we did were probably similar to Waldorf-type of practices. After recess she turned all the lights off, played soft ‘nature’ music, and taught us visualization, relaxation, meditation and even some yoga poses (although I didn’t know what yoga was at that time). Not typical of a public school education, but you know what? Those meditation relaxation practices are still with me today. I use them on a daily basis. I will never forget her scent—a mix of white musk and coffee. Yum. I loved it. She brought lessons on astronomy and dinosaurs to life through play-acting, field trips, and art. She was just a very memorable woman, and I hope Hana is touched by teachers like Ms. Culver. Teachers who may be a little unconventional and who will teach her life lessons along with the basics like math & spelling. And I hope that I, as her mom, can provide her with opportunities outside of school that develop senses that are perhaps underdeveloped in school…whatever they may be.
I hope Hana will grow up and question our choices about her schooling and her religion and her spirituality, and I will feel successful as a mom when I am able to embrace & accept her own adult choices (for herself and her own children, if she has them), whatever they may be.
Yikes, I got off track there. Anyway, for now we’re hoping to enroll our kids at Assumption-St. Bridget school. If we do, we’ll address the high school issue when it gets closer. Most likely, we’ll allow our kids to choose where they want to go to high school, with some parameters. I would love for them to attend Bishop Blanchet, which is a private Catholic high school right near our house (the same high school my first boyfriend went to, that I was writing about earlier), but they could also opt to attend a Seattle Public High School. A lot of the public high schools have great strengths in different areas (ie. Garfield has a fabulous jazz band, Roosevelt has a good athletic program), so depending on where their interests lie, they may make different choices. In Seattle Public Schools, you can choose 3 options, I believe…as in, first choice, second choice, third choice… you don’t just get sent to the school closest to your home. This system has merits & drawbacks the same, and I can’t come to any firm conclusion about whether I like it or not. High school, however, is pretty distant in my future right now. Not a top focus.
As I said, I went back the other day and read through old entries of mine. That spurred me to want to comment here on how I’m doing/how I’ve done on my New Year’s Resolutions. Here they are:
1) Ski, at least once. Well, I did that. Once. For about an hour. It was grand and I’m so glad I got out on the slopes. This year though, I want MORE.
2) Go to at least one outdoor summer concert with Hana. Did this one too, although I wish we would have made it to a few more. There are so many great outdoor, inexpensive concerts around Seattle. Next summer…
3) Come to some peace about working. Done. Well, sort-of. I think its an ongoing process and somewhat of an uphill battle, but I feel more at peace than I have since Hana was born. Hopefully soon I can move to working 3 days per week and/or do some telecommuting.
4) Buy a second car. Done. We bought a ’03 Subaru Forester and we love it. Now I want an Outback wagon, but I’ll wait my turn… ;)
5) Take several day-trips this summer. Well, we didn’t get over to the Olympic Peninsula as we had hoped to, but we did get lots of great weekend trips & day trips in over the summer, so I can’t complain.
6) Organize my photos. Done. I filled two books. I am currently searching for a nice photo system that I can use ‘for life’ and when I find the perfect getup, it will be #2 on my Christmas list (right after a digital camera.
Well, its noon on the Friday before Labor Day and I am leaving here (the office) as soon as I post this. I’m headed out to enjoy the last “real” weekend of summer. We have a couple of BBQs, some boating, maybe some waterskiing, on the agenda. Hana & I are headed to the pool with Melissa & Ella this afternoon to bask in the rays & swim in the cool water. Fall is on its way. Its still beautiful and warm here in Seattle, but in the mornings & the evenings I can feel that briskness in the air that is a sure sign Fall is just around the corner. I’m sad to see summer go, and as always, its crept by too quickly, but we have lots of lifetime memories from this summer. I’m looking forward to the freshness of Fall, the changing colors, the football games, the mums & pumpkins, the slower pace. I can’t wait to choose Hana’s Halloween costume, to go to the pumpkin farm, to watch her savor the bounty of Thanksgiving, to take her to high school football games and let her run around the field with her daddy (the coach). Life is just so sweet with a child in the house. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing everything in this Technicolor slow motion, and truly appreciating the beauty of Hana and Mike and family and life.
I hope you all have a fantastic long weekend.
Thanks for checking in on me. Now that I have to post every 3 weeks in order to keep this diary going, maybe I’ll be more disciplined!
Jessica
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