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July 30, 2003
July 30, 2003
Hana, 14 months.
OK, I’m doing it. I’m sitting down and I’m writing an entry. Poetic & well versed it may not be, but at least I’ll be able to say I posted something. My #1 reason for this diary is for Hana, because I really want her to be able to read about her life as a baby and a toddler, when her memory won’t allow her to recall fondly the fun things we’ve done and the charming things she does & says. Despite this wish though, I often get hung-up on feeling like I need to dedicate hours of time to updating my diary, and as such, I never get around to doing it.
So here I am.
Hana is 14 months old as of Sunday (7/27). Although I usually still see my sweet, round-headed baby when I look at her, there are moments, quick glances, when I realize that she is really beginning to look more like a girl, a child, and less like a baby. Will motherhood always be this constant tug of bittersweet emotions? Watching her grow & change is exhilarating and exciting, but as I revel in it, a small part of me always seems to be mourning the passing days and the (all too quick) passage of time.
Hana Margaret
Hana’s favorite things are running, jumping, tumbling and kicking (balls and such, not people!). When we say “show us how you run fast,” she crouches down, pumps those little arms, and takes off like a rocket (or so she thinks!)! She’s pretty convinced she’s VERY fast! She has been practicing her jumping for quite some time, and is just now actually starting to get some air. By “air” I mean about one millimeter off of the ground, but still…its air. She loves to show off her tumbling to anyone who will watch. When we have company she will go to the middle of the room, bend over and put her head on the ground, peeking through her legs. This is my cue to help her tuck her head and perform the roll.
Hana’s favorite things to eat at the moment are orange popsicles, cheese, macaroni & cheese, apples, mandarin orange wedges, nectarines, oatmeal and green beans. She is obsessed with straws and wants to drink everything out of a glass with a straw. Sippy cups have been pushed to the wayside for now.
She is less fond of water/swimming than she was just a few months ago, and primarily dislikes getting her face wet. She does love to splash & kick, but despises putting her face in the water, or having water poured over her head. She is pretty go-get-em on land, but much more cautious in the water. Her daddy is not a big swimmer, so I wonder if it could be a genetic thing? She’s been in swim lessons since she was 4 months old, so its not as if it’s new or unusual.
Hana has been in daycare for over a month now (3 days a week), and the transition has been great. The first week was a bit rough, but since then its been smooth sailing! Her teachers tell me she is very social, loves to play with the other kids (Hannah & Chloe are her ‘best friends’), loves the outdoor playground, and loves her cot (more on that later). We usually get to daycare about 8am, just in time for Hana to have breakfast with her friends! It is so nice now to be able to set her down, say goodbye and walk out the door with no tears!
Our Summer Evening Routine
In the evenings we usually eat dinner in the backyard (in this fabulous weather we’ve had this summer!). Hana has become a finicky eater in recent weeks (very normal for a toddler, so the books tell me) so she usually polishes off her dinner quickly and wants down. While Mike & I eat, Hana keeps herself very busy. She loves chasing her kitty and her chickens (yes we still have them, no, no eggs yet--I think we’re supposed to expect them by September). She also likes pulling her babies (dolls) around in her red Radio Flyer wagon or pushing them in the stroller (her real stroller, which she pushes by holding onto the lower basket). After dinner she & Mike usually kick the soccer ball around for awhile, and then Mike works on his golf swing. He hits balls around the yard, and Hana chases them down. It is hilarious to watch. Mike putts, Hana shrieks in excitement and then goes racing across the yard with her basket swinging from her arm. She gets to the golf ball, bends down, picks it up and gingerly places it in her basket, then waits patiently for the next one. It’s a funny & very endearing nightly ritual this summer. AND with all this practice, she should kick ass at next year’s Easter Egg Hunt!
Once I’ve cleaned up the dinner dishes, I get Hana in the tub where she loves to kick & splash and soak the whole bathroom. She has developed a real aversion for getting her face wet, so the hair-washing portion of this event is usually a mite stressful for all involved….we move quickly. After her bath, Hana gets in her pjs, brushes her teeth and we read a story (Goodnight Moon in the winner 99% of the time) before she lays down for bed.
Nighty-Night
Bed. Bedtime. I’m going to talk about this touchy subject, but I ask that no one throw rocks or tomatoes my way! I'm not intending to start a debate about co-sleeping….just commenting on our own situation (again). So, Hana’s been sleeping with us since birth. I would say she has probably slept in her crib a total about 10 hours since birth. She hates it. Yes, I know that is our fault….but frankly, I don’t really care. It bothers other people a great deal (my parents, for one example), but Mike & I could really give a rip. We love having her cuddled up with us each night. She goes down easily in our bed each night. She falls asleep on her own in our bed (no need for rocking, bottles, etc.—well, OK, so she still “needs” her binky). After her story (about 8pm most nights), we just lay her down, say a prayer, say “night-night” (Hana says “na na”), give her a kiss, and that is that. I often hear her humming or babbling to herself for a few minutes, but then she’s out like a light. We can even come back up to our room at our bedtime (10 or 11ish) and read or watch the news, and she doesn’t wake up. She sleeps peacefully through the night (although she does occasionally jab her mom with knees & elbows) and wakes up around 7am. Some people seem to take personal offense to this arrangement. I still don’t see the big problem (nor does Mike), and isn’t that what is most important?
I know the question people often want to ask (and sometimes, surprisingly, do) is “what about s-e-x?” Without going into too much commentary, I will just say that we are a-ok in that area. In fact after recently perusing a Cosmo in the lunchroom at work, I think we are above the national average. haha. In my view, co-sleeping forces a little more creativity, which we all know is needed from time to time! My least-favorite comment is “well, if you continue that [co-sleeping], you’ll never have a second [baby].” I mean, pardon me, but a) that is really none of your business, and b) I don’t go around commenting on your sleeping habits and/or sex life, so why do you think mine is open for discussion? I responded to one person like this: “well, I don’t normally discuss our sex life in public, but since you brought it up, I’ll just say that we’re doing just fine, and finding the time & space hasn’t been a problem.”
Anyway, back to sleeping. At KinderCare (Hana’s daycare), Hana naps on a cot. Each day her teachers (Miss Melissa & Miss Wendy) tell me all about how much Hana loves her cot. So much so that Hana insists that HER cot be the first one to be set down each day at naptime. So much so that she apparently gets really excited at the end of lunchtime and starts pointing to where the cots are kept. I’ve come to pick her up several times now (toward the end of naptime) only to find Hana casually lounging on her cot reading a book (hilarious!). Well, Mike decided that since Hana likes her cot so much, maybe its time for a toddler bed. His mom still has his toddler bed (circa 1976), which is a darling little white bed about a ½ inch off of the floor. He got it all set up a few weeks ago in her room, and now there is no crib (which was just wasted space for the last year anyway!). Hana has spent a few nights in her new bed, and usually naps there when we’re at home. She particularly likes to cuddle with her teddy on her bed and read her books. I realize that I should probably start being more consistent about having her sleep there each night, but after doing that for a few nights, Mike & I both honest-to-god missed having her in bed with us! So, she’s back in our bed for the most part for now. As she gets bigger and more intrusive, we’ll probably make the real shift to her own bed.
The only problem I have with co-sleeping is that I think I have now developed a weird and irrational fear about having Hana sleep in her own room. I love the safety of having her right next to me all night, and when she’s in her own room, I worry about everything from fires to Elizabeth-Smart-style kidnappings in the middle of the night. I realize it is irrational, but I can’t help myself!
Back to Summer Evenings
I got so carried away on the bedtime subject I forgot something else I was going to mention in my “summer evenings” heading. Watering. I’ve really gotten into watering my garden/plants this summer. Each night (on rain-less days) I head outside after Hana’s in bed to water the garden. For awhile it was a bit of a dreaded chore, but over time I have come to really, really enjoy this meditative task. I look forward to the ½ hour or 45 minutes I spend quietly tending to the plants, slowly moving around the yard under the dusky blue sky. Sometimes I’m alone, lost in thought, but Mike is also often out there with me (puttering around the yard), and it is a nice chance to catch up on our days. There is also a serenity that comes from tending to and caring for plants and gardens, and a sense of accomplishment when you notice new little buds or witness the tomatoes slowly turning red. I just learned that my dad has also developed a new fondness for watering the lawn this summer. After commenting on how green & soft my parents’ lawn has remained (most everyone else in Seattle’s is brown), I learned that my dad has a new nightly watering routine too. He gets a glass of red wine each evening and goes out and hand-waters the whole lawn. He stands in the yard and gently, by hand, showers the whole lawn with the hose (its not a huge lawn, but its certainly big enough to warrant a sprinkler…which is how they have always watered, until this summer). It sounds like my dad has grown to love this quiet, meditative time…and he has a beautiful lawn to show for his care. I add these little anecdotes in this entry because I hope they serve as a reminder to Hana to savor the little things in life, and to know that it is often the “work” of life that brings us meaning & purpose, or just time to reflect. It is so easy in our world to automate everything we do, or to pay someone else to do it for us, but if we take the care and the time to do it ourselves, it can often be very rewarding.
Romantic Weekend Getaway
Mike & I had our first weekend away (alone, no Hana) in late June. I had actually never even spent a full night away from her. Hana stayed with my parents and I had no concerns about her well-being while we were gone. I knew she’d be fine and have a great time with her grandma & grandpa. I was actually a bit more concerned about how I would do—would I miss her so much that I wouldn’t be able to have fun or enjoy our time away? Well, my fears were unfounded. Although I did miss her, the time away was just fabulous! It was so nice to spend four full days only worrying about myself and pampering myself and enjoying time alone with my husband. We stayed in a beautiful lodge on the Columbia River on the Washington/Oregon border. This getaway was actually Mike’s company retreat, so room & board (at a beautiful resort) were free (bonus) and we still got a fair share of time to ourselves. It was so nice to lounge in our room in our fluffy robes, to sit on the patio over a cocktail and play cards, to take long walks through the woodsy paths, holding hands (no stroller needed!)…
One day Mike had a meeting in the morning and golf tournament in the afternoon, so I had the entire day to myself…it was heaven. I woke up around 7:30, had a delicious breakfast in the lodge with Mike, then headed off to the pool. For the next hour, I enjoyed the peaceful adult lap swim (at all other times the pool was teeming with screaming kids) in the beautiful pool overlooking the Columbia River with the sun rising overhead. After my swim, I sat in the outdoor natural rock spa and then in the cedar sauna. Heavenly, I tell you. I leisurely showered up in the locker room, and then headed out to the Front Lawn (picturesque grassy area overlooking the river, with Adirondack chairs, a firepit, volleyball, etc.) & called my parents and talked to Hana over a hot cup of coffee. After checking in on my baby (who was doing marvelously with grandma & grandpa), I took the 3 mile walk into the quaint little town (Stevenson, WA), where I perused a few adorable little shops. I bought delicious lavender hand cream, a bamboo mat (for candles) and green tea bath oil from a great shop called Bloomsbury—check it out if you’re ever in Stevenson. The owner was a charming & delightful lady. I almost bought a beautiful “little black dress” from another shop and was ready to throw $150 on the table…but it was a tad too big so I guess I ended up saving myself some money (I already have 3 “little black dresses”). I spent the next hour sitting by the river reading in the tree-shaded park, sipping a sparkling water. After I meandered my way back to the lodge, I met Mike for lunch on the patio, then walked up to the golf course with him and hung out until they teed off. My afternoon was spent reading by the pool and taking a few dips (the thermometer by the pool read 98 degrees—aah!). We ended the day with cocktails in the lounge, dinner in the restaurant (fabulous cedar-plank salmon & garlic mashed potatoes), and more cocktails on the Front Lawn as the sun set. I mean really….how can I make THIS my every day existence??? I think being a mom has made me even more appreciative of quiet, relaxing, do-nothing days like this. I know it was one of those days I will reminisce fondly about in my golden years.
4th of July Weekend
We went to Winthrop for the 4th of July weekend with a big group of friends. Winthrop is a little town in Eastern Washington. It is a replica of the old mining town it was once was—its very charming, just like being in an old western town, complete with wooden sidewalks & saloons. Our friend’s family has a big, lofty, casual cabin above the Methow River where 15 of us stayed (some stayed in tents). We spent our time wandering through town, eating burgers & brew in various pubs & saloons overlooking the river, sitting by the river, swimming in the river, floating down the river, playing softball at the cabin, hitting golf balls into the river, taking long walks down the winding country roads, swatting mosquitoes, and eating, eating, eating.
On the 4th, we headed into Twisp, WA, a town of about 2 blocks, about 15 minutes from Winthrop. The “girls” grabbed lattes from an adorable little bakery attached to a gallery the most fabulous photography. While we waited for our coffee, we perused the gallery, and if the artwork hadn’t been far, far out of my price range, I would have definitely gone home with some of the black & white and sepia photography. Beautiful, serene backcountry pictures. With lattes in hand we toured the town (a total of about 10 minutes) while the guys set up camp on the sidewalk for the big Twisp Parade.
All of the guys went golfing one afternoon and the rest of us sat on the sandy banks of the river all day, playing in the sun and splashing in the river. Hana was not very fond of the river (COLD), but loved playing on the “beach” and climbing along the rocks & logs. That same afternoon, several people from our group decided to do a long float down the river, and meet us at the “beach” at the end of town. So there the rest of us sat, playing cards, swimming in the river, walking the banks of the river…for an hour. Then another hour. Then another hour. Two of the floaters suddenly showed up in their car. One had gotten her foot stuck under a rock and lost her tube and her husband, in his attempt to get to her, lost his wedding ring. They called it quits and hitchhiked back to the cabin (after a severe hike up the hills from the river to the road). They sat down and regaled us with stories of their river ride. A few people ran off to grab sandwich stuff for dinner. A few more ran off to buy some beer. Still our remaining river-floaters hadn’t shown up. The sun started to set. Then darkness started to set in quickly. We started to panic, just a little bit. Then suddenly the town erupted in sirens screaming off into the hills above town. Uh-oh, we thought. Not good. We broke up into a few “search parties” to drive around town where you could spy the river from the road, and try to spot them. Someone had the forethought to bring walkie-talkies, so we had quite a network going. No luck spotting them on the river though. Hana was starting to lose it and really needed to go to bed, so Mike & I decided to take her back to the cabin. On the way there, we passed one of the couples who informed us they had found our missing floaters hiking up a backroad, innertubes on their backs, dripping wet and cold, trying to hitch a ride to get back to the cabin. Apparently, the river moved A LOT more slowly, and winded & curved a lot more than they had anticipated. When they realized it was getting dark and they were still nowhere near town, they decided to bail out, and hope for the best (a ride back to the cabin). I guess all’s well that ends well (the bad news is that those sirens we heard were headed to a fatal car accident on the highway).
Summer Days
We’ve been spending a lot of time at my parents’ house this summer, since they live on Lake Washington. We’ve done quite a bit of boating, and Hana loves the boat. Actually, I should say she has a love-hate relationship with boating: she loves the boat, she hates her lifejacket (which we’ve deemed mandatory—sorry, its not up for discussion, Ms. Hana). She’s beginning to get used to it, but for awhile, just SEEING her lifejacket was reason enough for a floor-pounding temper tantrum! We’ve done a lot of tubing, and some skurfing. I’ve only been skiing once, much to my dismay. In order to get good water for skiing, you have to get out there at either 6am or 8pm, and those hours just don’t work well for me these days!
On afternoons that we’re not hanging at my parents, we’ve spent our fair share of time at various parks around the area, including the Greenlake wading pool, Sheridan Beach Club & Pool, View Ridge park, and Matthew’s Beach park. I just love summer and can’t believe it’s already almost August. Where does the time go? The other day on my way into work I found myself thinking about Christmas gift shopping. SCARY!
A few other fun things we’ve done this summer (just to get them down for memory’s sake):
-day trip to Ellensburg, WA for Kyle’s (my brother) college graduation
-Ella’s (my girlfriend’s daughter) 1st Birthday Luau
-outdoor evening concert at Nile Country Club (the Beatnik’s and an Elvis impersonator!)
-(a couple of) Mariners’ games
-Ballard Seafood Days (outdoor fair/market)
-lots of “Wednesday Night BBQs” (at Sheridan Beach, the summer beach club/pool where I grew up—Wed night BBQs are an annual summer event)
This weekend we’re going to a BBQ at a friend’s new house in Arlington, and then heading over to Camano Island for a campout at Mike’s cousin’s house/property. They own a beautiful home on several wooded acres just above the Puget Sound. Mike’s cousin has created a huge network of trails through their woods, and each trail leads to a little campsite. Each campsite has its own campy, painted wooden sign with the campsite name. All trails also lead to “The Beach,” an open area in the middle of the woods with a big firepit, carved wooden chairs and stools, a roasting spit, and lots of soft sand that they hauled in. Each year they have an event called “Summer Nights at the Queers” which is a play on an outdoor summer concert series in Seattle called Summer Nights at the Pier (his cousin and her girlfriend are, you guessed it, gay). A big group of their friends come for a big, fun, wild party/campout on their property. We weren’t able to make it last year, but anxiously await the big event this coming weekend.
The following weekend we’re headed to Orcas Island for a big wedding (at Rosario Resort) on Saturday evening. We plan to hop on the ferry early Saturday morning and spend the day hanging out on the island. Strangely enough, we are camping on the beach after the wedding. We did have a hotel room rented, but Mike & I have really wanted to camp this summer and since this may be our only opportunity, we decided to kill two birds with one stone and camp there! On Sunday we plan to rent a bike trailer for Hana and do some biking around the island before we catch the ferry for the long trip home.
I’d better run and get this posted. Before I do I want to apologize to everyone who has posted on my TTM board. I’ve been remiss about responding, but hopefully I’ll get to them soon. My work situation is good, although I’m still working 5 days a week (5-6 hrs a day). I finally just got my unit staffed appropriately, so I’m hoping I can shift to 3 days per week soon…hopefully this fall. I don’t by any means have a perfect situation worked out, but I do feel very at peace about my decision to stay on at my company, and most days I am challenged, busy and happy with my job.
A few special notes: Congratulations to Nicole, Mike & Max on the (pink!) addition to your adorable family. I can’t wait to see some pictures of little Shelby Lane! Allisun—I’m dying to hear from you and hope all is going well with the pregnancy/new baby (!!). Please post soon! Heather (SKT)—I need to email you; I’m dying to hear what’s new with you. I’m so sorry I’ve never responded to your post on my board eons ago. I’ll be in touch soon! Tanya—I need to email you too. I sooooooo appreciated all of your support & help with my daycare/career questions, and would love to hear what’s new with you & yours.
OK, I’m sure there is more, but I forget and need to get back to work. I hope you are all having a wonderful summer and reveling in every minute of the long, lazy (ha) days!
Jessica
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