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February 20, 2003
I’m not feeling very creative or frankly even very inspired to write today (setting the Expectation Bar low here…), but I DO feel inspired to post something!anything! about my baby girl, so here goes: The Hana Report/February 2003.
Hana is cruising like crazy. She does circles around the coffee table like an old pro. Everything & anything (papers, half full-glasses, books, magazines, plates…she’s certainly not specific) on any table or furniture surface must immediately relocate to the floor. She reaches & leans from table to couch to piano (hers) to chair to push-toy, performing endless pirouettes on those pudgy little legs.
Hana’s grandma bought her a push-toy a couple of weeks ago, and it was definitely a good $2 investment (thrift find—Jeanette would be proud). It only took a few minutes of apprehension before she figured out that with this contraption, she could get somewhere…by herself! Since then, she’s had her fair share of bumps & bruises as a result, but her agility with the toy is incredible. I am reminded of the Flinstones—the way the legs blur into a circular whir when Fred & Barney “drive” the car (do Wilma & Betty EVER get to drive?)…this is what she reminds me of. She can zoom across the room in the blink of an eye (perhaps I exaggerate a touch, but you get the idea…). Her pride is what gets to me the most—the way she looks up at her audience and bats her eyelashes, so thrilled with herself!
Sometimes I sit back and watch this round, fuzzy blonde creature wiggle her way around the room, and I am in the most joyous awe of her mobility and her energy and her funny little spirit. So far, the most amazing thing about being a mom (aside from the pure joy of simply BEING her mom) is being privy to this incredible daily metamorphosis…of this constant changing, growing, learning…this little miracle in progress.
She, by the way, refuses to crawl. She mainly despises being on her tummy, although she can maneuver herself around a bit, and when she feels like it, can roll to any destination she chooses. No crawling though. We’ve tried many tactics to prod her, show her, help her…to no avail. Experienced moms tell me to count my lucky stars, since she is still mostly confine-able (not a word, I know).
Hana’s third tooth has just broken through (I noticed it last night). She now has her two bottom middle teeth, and a little stub of an upper front tooth. I hope the second one pops through before this one descends much further, so she’s not a snaggletooth for long. She has been a bit crankier than usual and I’ve been able to distinguish her I’m-in-pain-cry from other cries (i.e the whiny, I-m-not-getting-what-I want cry that makes me crazy…), so I know those little daggers have been bothering her. She’s been treated to baby Motrin a few times, and man does she love that stuff. This girl definitely has a sweet tooth, and she is quite fond of her berry-flavored medicine. I honestly think I see a gleam in her eyes when she spies the dispenser!
Lately Hana has been getting this burst of energy right before she goes to bed. What is with that? She’ll be lazing around, reading her bedtime story and getting heavy-lidded…then out of nowhere, she’s up and she’s raring to go. And its not just typical activity—she’s like baby on speed! She’s suddenly on a high: must-move, must-go, must touch everything in the room! And then its over as quickly as it came on, and she drifts off to sleep. Its not bothersome to me at all, just quirky and funny, and it’s a a new development in her bedtime repertoire. I gander she must realize its almost bedtime, and so she frantically gets in as much activity as possible in those last waking moments. Funny girl.
Hana’s swim lessons are at a crappy time: Tuesday nights at 6:30. I often drag my feet before we go, given that its right in the middle of the evening, dinner time, and Hana is usually kind of crabby around that hour. But each time I go, I’m happy I dragged us there (despite the moldy locker room and the juggle to get us dressed & undressed with as little chaos as possible). Its such fun to get in the pool with her, hold her round slippery bod in my arms, and splash & play in the water with her. She adores it. I love feeling her little heart beating wildly against my hand as she wiggles and squirms excitedly and chases the plastic green frog around the pool. I love her zealous splashing and her giggles when she gets me in the face. I love her delighted squeals when I blow bubbles for her. I think we may have a show-off on our hands. Hana ALWAYS wants to swim to the wall and climb up so that she can look over the edge and make sure that everyone in the stands in paying close attention to her. Hana leans and stretches and kicks her legs in an attempt to get to the wall. She gets there, reaches her arms up in a mock-attempt to pull herself up (I’m not sure if she really thinks she’s pulling herself up, or if she knows I’m giving her a bit of a boost), looks over to the bleachers and breaks into the most hilarious smile—this “hey, look-at-me, aren’t-I-good?!?” sort of smile. Luckily there are some nice folk in the stands who will appease her by smiling and waving and nodding in approval! She seems to bask in it.
Hana has discovered the toilet paper roll…and she loves it. Life as we know it is over. Once she figures out how to walk we’re really in trouble, because I know what she is going to go for. She adores unraveling every last square onto the floor. Once in the bathroom, she makes an immediate beeline for the TP. In the bathtub, she is endlessly trying to position herself to reach that roll and dig her little hands into the tissue. She shrieks happily as she bats wildly at the roll, watching in wonder as it spirals to the floor. I guess they’re right what they say about “the little things” eh?
When I was pregnant, the Tim McGraw song “Just to See You Smile” would send me over the edge. Most of the song is not really applicable to a baby, but that chorus…”just to see you smile, I’d do anything…that you wanted me to…when all is said and done, I’d never count the cost…its worth all that’s lost…just to see you smile…;” that chorus would send me into a sobbing fit. When I was pregnant, I would listen to that song and dream of the little baby inside whose smile would soon be the light of my life—I had a very real image in my mind. Oh how true it has all proven to be. First I must note how oddly amazing it is that Hana looks just as I imagined her…blonde, round, fuzzy-headed, big blue eyes. Honestly, I kid you not, she is a replica of my imagination. But more importantly, her smiles light me up more than I ever imagined they could. She has a menu of smiles, from shy & coy (the head tilt…oh-so precious) to open-mouthed ecstasy, and for each & every one, yes, I’d do anything…just to see her smile. Every day on my way home from work, I stop myself from thinking of the grocery list, the laundry, the bills, the things I want to tell Mike about, work (etc. etc.) and I think of Hana. This is not to say I don’t think of her throughout the day anyway, but this is a goofy little ritual I do on the bus ride or car ride home. I just think of her. Picture her. Imagine her face, her hands, her feet, her tummy, her curly hair, her soft skin. And EVERY day I break into this completely goofy grin that I cannot, for the life of me, remove from my face. Hana makes me smile uncontrollably, and while I love lots of people, I’m not sure I can say that anyone else can do that to me. I know that I look like an idiot, grinning wildly to myself on the bus…but I don’t care. She does that to me, and I LOVE it.
In just a little over 3 months, Hana will be a year old. I don’t even know what to say to that. I can’t believe it. It is bittersweet. I’m sure I’ll have more to say on this issue as the day approaches, but its been on my mind lately. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that Hana will be a toddler. Not a baby. A toddler. Her first year. Over. Her babyhood. Over. I relish watching her grow and change and mature; it’s the greatest joy… but I’m also struggling with letting go, letting time march on. I guess that is part of motherhood.
Before I go, I must wish my brother (who does not even know this site exists) and my dear friend Melissa (who is an avid iParenting reader) very Happy Birthdays (Feb. 19 & Feb.20, respectively)!!!! I wish you both a year filled with wonder, joy & bliss.
Until next week,
Jessica
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