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April 25, 2003
I know some of you probably thought I fell off the face of the Earth, but here I am! Sorry for the huge time gap between entries. It's really not like me, and I hated leaving you out of the loop for so long. I apologize.
To appease my dear readers, I have tried to make up for my absence by giving you a particularly delicious entry. Enjoy...
*April 20, 2003* Easter Sunday
We had a great service at church. Easter marked four years since my husband accepted Jesus. Praise God! All the kids had fun hunting for eggs, and they all looked so cute in their pretty dresses and suits. Sarah wore this frilly pink dress- not usually my taste, but I made an exception for Easter.
After church, we came home so Sarah could nap. Then we proceeded to my sister's place for BBQ and fun. We had burgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, beans, chips, and my mom even made deviled eggs. It was quite a spread! Once our food was digested, we headed down to the pool. Sarah had a blast splashing in the water. She only wanted to go in up to her knees, though. Not that I blame her- that water was cold!!
We came home that night tired from a long day. When Sarah went down for her second nap, I ran to the store to pick up a few things we needed. While I was there, I realized that AF was due again, and she still had not arrived. I picked up a home pregnancy test, just in case.
Later that night, I decided to take the test, fully expecting another negative result. As the fluid raced up the strip, a dark pink line promptly appeared in the first window. Then another in the second window.
Pregnant.
My whole body became hot and sweaty, and my heart began to race. I braced myself against the sink to keep from passing out. I literally felt nauseas.
Pregnant...
I began to cry. How could this be? I have never been so scared in my life. We were not ready for this. This really doesn't seem to be the right timing.
I stumbled down the hall and into the room. I told Moe...
Pregnant!
He was so exhausted from the long day, he could barely manage a proper response. I think he said "OK." I regained a bit of my composure and told him my fears. "We don't have the money. We don't have any insurance. How are we going to handle two kids so close together? Sarah is already so demanding-what will happen when the baby gets here? What if something goes wrong with this pregnancy? I had an amazing pregnancy and delivery the first time around-can it possibly be so good again?"
PREGNANT!!!!!
Clearly, in his condition (read: nearly comatose), he was in no shape to handle the barrage of questions I was throwing at him. At one point, I think I actually saw his eyes roll back in his head. I felt bad for unloading on him, but he took it rather well. Then, I decided we had to tell my family. He wanted to wait, but the was NO WAY I could. I felt that maybe if I shared it with more people, it would make it more okay somehow. More real. More acceptable.
So off we went, to the kitchen where my mom, dad, sister, and (future) brother-in-law were sitting around the table. I said to them, "Sarah has something she wants to tell you." I told her to tell them, but (surprise!) she didn't. Maybe b/c she can't! LOL.
Anyway, I said, (for Sarah) "I'm gonna be a big sister!"
Shock and Awe...
does not describe it. Jaws were on the floor. It was rather awkward, actually. No one really knew how to react. I think they all knew that we weren't really planning this.
Finally, though, they came to their senses and jumped out of their chairs. There were hugs and congratulations all around! I think my mom screamed. (She does that a lot when she gets big news. LOL.) They were surprised, but happy for us.
*As of today...*
I am much more calm about this than I was initially. I still have some concerns, but I know that God would not have blessed us with this baby if He wasn't going to provide, so I am leaving it up to Him. Already, we have seen Him working in our lives to help us financially, and I am praising Him for it. He has done far greater and more difficult things than what we are believing Him for, so... =)
I have not been to the doctor's yet, but I will be going soon. As soon as I know anything new, you will know it. Based on my LMP, I am estimating my due date to be near the end of November. This means Sarah will not even be 2 yet when this baby is born. God help us!
*My next entry...*
In my next entry, I plan to request LOTS of feedback from you on tons of issues. From pregnancy, breastfeeding, sleep, siblings, and tons of other things, so be prepared! =)
Until Next Time...
Jennifer
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