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June 10, 2004
Emily 2 years, 2 months
I haven't posted for a few days and just felt like typing a quick update.
While running errands on Tuesday the "check engine" light went on in my car. Jeremy and I dropped my car off at the dealership yesterday and it's now ready to be picked up. Total cost $710! Part of that cost is for a 40K mile service. I'm not to thrilled about paying such a large bill right now, but what can you do?
I'm a little down about not being able to work as much as I'd like to. For the past few months I would go into work a couple of mornings a week. Jeremy would stay home and watch Emily one day a week and my mom would watch Emily the other day. It was a perfect schedule. In the past couple of weeks Jeremy hasn't been able to stay home because he's trying to focus more on starting a business, which we really need right now. My mom's work schedule is on a rotation so for the past few weeks she hasn't had any days off during the week. I feel like I'm being such a flake by not showing up. I feel like I'm not keeping up with the commitment I made.
Jeremy told me this past week that he would stay home every Wednesday so I can at least make a firm commitment to my employer. I was excited and shared that news with my coworkers and even RSVP'd to go to a luncheon next Wednesday. Isn't it just my luck that Jeremy has to go out of town next week from Monday to Wednesday?? Story of my life.
I can end this complaining and talk about how much Emily makes me smile every day. She is my constant source of happiness and my occasional source of pure frustration. Today was definitely a day of testing limits. You know the saying, "Give them an inch".... I do have to admit that Emily's recent phrases have me laughing when she leaves the room. Right now Jeremy is Daddy and I am Momma, but occasionally Emily refers to us as, "Honey". Knocking on the bathroom door...."Where aaaare you, Honey??" Calling after me when I leave a room, "Waaaait, Hoooooney." Handing me something, "There you go Honey" I love this pet name Emily has given to me and Jeremy.
Of course I need to address my TTC efforts. Today is CD27. As much as I am trying not to read into any symptoms I have to admit that I was queasy throughout the day today. I also have been suffering from post nasal drip and my sense of smell seems stronger. These were all the symptoms I had while pregnant with Emily. No tiredness though. That was a huge symptoms before my miscarriage last cycle.
The worst part of the 2 week wait is putting my life "on hold" while trying to prepare myself for another negative pregnancy test. My SIL and a good friend her's have been trying to schedule a Girls' Night Out with my cousin and me. I agreed to getting together this Saturday but then realized that I couldn't enjoy a drink because I would be smack dab in the middle of my 2 week wait. My SIL knows all of my struggles so she has been more than happy to reschedule. I love her.
I have been torturing myself by watching A Baby Story everyday. Today was an episode in which a couple decided to adopt their second child. It really struck a nerve with me. I wonder how much of an option adoption would be for Jeremy and me. I have no problems with the idea but Jeremy has yet to warm up to it. I completely respect his opinion because it definitely is not an option for everybody. It was on my mind for most of the day today. I know nothing about the process. I think over the next few months I might want to look into finding out more.
As far as having a child of our own. I have been worrying about the age difference between Emily and any future siblings we may have. As each month goes by I worry about the gap. I asked Jeremy if we would stop TTC #2 if Emily was 8 and we still had not had another one. His response was to stop focusing on age so much. He said he's willing to keep trying until we couldn't try anymore. I love his attitude. I don't know what I would do without his optimism.
Positive thoughts.....
Jennifer
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