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May 11, 2004
TTC Journey
As I mentioned in my introduction, Jeremy and I have been TTC our second child for the past year. The original plan was for us to have our second child by Emily’s 2nd birthday. Obviously we are way behind with that schedule. In this past year I have been obsessed with TTC. My first problem was dealing with cycles that were way too long. After going to the doctor 2 times for a progesterone shot to end 60+ day cycles it became apparent that I was not ovulating. I decided to try Clomid. Luckily, it made my cycle a normal length but did not help us to become pregnant. After the second round of Clomid I decided to just try a better diet and exercise routine and also the use of herbs. It must have been the right path to follow because I finally got my much waited positive pregnancy test on Jeremy’s birthday.
Jeremy and I were so excited and happy. I couldn’t believe that I finally had a normal length cycle, I ovulated, and more importantly finally got a positive pregnancy test. Within a week of the positive test I began spotting which ultimately led to an early miscarriage. I haven’t let myself get upset about what happened. I just remind myself that at least I got pregnant in the first place.
My whole experience last month left me so numb that I decided to stop temping, stop taking herbs, stop obsessing over TTC. I have continued to exercise and eat healthy foods. I don’t have a single pregnancy test in the house. Unfortunately, I’m now on cycle day 32 with no signs that AF is on her way. I really thought I could just “wait and see” but I want so badly to run to the store and get a pregnancy test. It didn’t help that today I was extremely tired even though I got plenty of sleep last night. That was my biggest symptom last month. Maybe just writing about it now will help me get it off of my mind.
Toddler Eating Habits.
I’m amazed at the daily changes in Emily’s eating habits. I can always count on her to eat any type of cracker or pasta but meat and vegetables are her least favorite food. For months I had to puree vegetables and mix them into her applesauce. Suddenly Emily started to eat broccoli like it was candy, but still refused any meat that wasn’t a chicken nugget. Recently, Emily started to show an interest in ground beef. OK, we’re making some progress. Tonight I prepared a stir fry dish that was full of ground beef and vegetables. I made Emily macaroni and cheese thinking that she would have nothing to do with the stir fry. WRONG. She completely ignored her macaroni and cheese and ate more than half of the stir fry off of mine and Jeremy’s plate! Now if I can just get her to drink milk. She hasn’t drunk a drop of milk since weaning herself from the bottle at 15 months.
Grandparents Love.
This past Mother’s Day we spent the afternoon/evening at my parents house and it was a nightmare as far as discipline issues. My parents had watched Emily the day before while Jeremy and I went to dinner and a movie. It was pretty obvious on Mother’s Day that Emily must have gotten away with a lot while we were gone. My parents let Emily do anything, ANYTHING that she wants to do. It really makes it difficult to visit as a family because the sudden discipline that comes with Momma and Daddy is really confusing around Grandma and Papap. I told my mom that I think I’m going to have to come visit for a day and we’ll lay down the law together. Once I got home I felt bad that I said anything to my mother. Maybe it’s a grandparents’ right to spoil their grandchildren. I just want to show my mom what a good job I’m doing raising my daughter and to not set rules in MY mother’s house is too hard to do.
Life stinks without a car.
My car is in the body shop for repairs from being rear-ended two weeks ago. Last week I didn’t miss my car too much because Jeremy was home most of the week and I had his truck to run errands. This week Jeremy has been going to the office to work and I’m stuck at home with no car. I usually like to run at least one small errand every morning just to get Emily and I out of the apartment. I was so tired of being home all day yesterday that I lugged our stroller down the steps from our apartment and walked to the store with Emily to pick up some ingredients for dinner. It’s been so long since I’ve taken Emily for a walk in her stroller, she had a ball. I was exhausted by the time I got back home, carried Emily, the groceries and the stroller up the stairs into the apartment. I don’t know if I’ll be that desperate for an outing the rest of this week.
Potty Training.
I was going to avoid writing about this subject but since I’ve been thinking about it I guess I’ll write out some thoughts. I have no idea when the perfect time to potty train is, but right now seems way too soon. Emily now announces the need for a diaper change, but she’s afraid to sit on the toilet without her clothes on. The few times she has sat on the potty without a diaper she just sits there and makes a “pee noise” with her mouth. Emily’s physical therapist has mentioned to me that her motor skill delay may affect potty training also. I don’t think either of us are ready to be trained yet. Maybe Emily will surprise me in the next few weeks.
Love,
Jennifer
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