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March 28, 2004
Well, I had a new entry all but written last week - but with the craziness of the past seven days (a conference, Dawn's visit, babysitting for three different friends, helping a client and a birthday party) I've still not managed to finish it off. I was going to include these tidbits of wisdom with the entry - but figured I would post them now to buy me some time! :)
Wisdom from My TTM
I guess I picked two hot topics last week! There was so much wisdom shared on my board since I posted that last entry, and so much of it resonated with me, and brought me to greater peace with both of the big issues I addressed (child spacing and body image). There are too many posts to share all the wonderful, wise and thought provoking words, but I thought I would pull out a few to share with all of you, because I want to be sure I remember them as well.
On Body Image and Healthy Living.
“And most importantly, I have my 2-year old daughter. More than anything, I want her to grow up feeling comfortable with her body. I want her to have a good strong psychological foundation from which she can face advertising and magazines TV and pressure that show skeletal female models. I want her to start with good eating habits, to enjoy physical activity and to know that bodies are beautiful. I don't want her to see me weighing myself every morning (I don't), or counting calories, or never eating cake or ice cream.
My daughter (and to some degree, my son) are the biggest, most important reason for me to block out the fact that my butt is bigger than it was 10 years ago, that I have inner thighs and that what used to be 6-pack abs are now straining at the waistband of my jeans.”
Elizabeth (MT Writer)
“…one way back to myself was to find my healthy body again. With this healthier body came discipline and energy and a positive attitude. Feeding myself well and taking time to exercise is a fundamental step to my mothering. I am a much better mother to Satchel when I am full of energy and not stuck on the couch in a funk. There is still a long way to go but I'm not giving up!
…a favorite spiritual writer of mine says the best way to get rid of bad habits is not to focus on weeding them out, but to focus on developing good habits instead.”
Brooke70
“I used to think that if I had a job that required me to be fit (actress, anchor woman, fitness guru) that would be my motivation for eating healthy and exercising. Then I realized that I DO have that kind of job. I am a wife and mother and I owe it to those people to be in the best shape I can to be around as long as I can. I work really hard to make sure that Will eats almost perfectly. Then I ask myself, If it is not good enough for him, why is it good enough for me? If I would not feed it to my kid, why would I eat it? That works about 96% of the time.”
Anna B
“This sounds so lame but I have found lately that the best way for me to get a little cardio in is....PLAYING with my child! Go figure! But really--she just adores dancing around the house with her mama, or playing "Tag" in the house or the yard, or having me run around the yard pulling her in her wagon, or doing jumping jacks, or (Hana's favorite): "hopping like frogs" or "flying like birds" or "walking like crabs." This "workout" has pluses all around: Hana just loves it and giggles endlessly, I get some really silly, fun quality time with my baby, and phew--I am honestly out of breath with my heart rate going! And let me tell you---if you haven't played leapfrog or crab walked in years--I promise you these activities use muscles you most likely haven't been utilizing in your daily rounds. I usually feel it the next day!
Eating healthy. I'll have to think on this one more. But one good piece of advice that I read somewhere once is to try to fill your grocery cart almost entirely with items from the perimeter of the grocery store, and limit items from the inner aisles. Simple to abide by. You'll still find lots of fatty items in the dairy and the meat section, but those are the things that give you some fat (some "good" fat), some protein, and fill you up.”
Jess(MT)
“It is very important to eliminate, as much as possible, excess sugar (in its many presentations), processed foods and hydrogenated oils. Another tip, is to think brown. What I mean by that is to substitute white bread with 100 % whole wheat, regular pasta with wheat pasta, white rice with brown rice, instant oatmeal with old fashioned oat meal and so on. Another good tip, is to eliminate carbs at dinner time. Instead of serving one meat with rice, pasta or potatoes, do a vegetable (like broccoli) and a salad. Instead of whole milk, drink 1 % or skim. Have cheese sticks and fruit for snacks. Buy organic as much as you can. And if you have a demanding sweet tooth (like I do) buy sugar free jello, sugar free pudding (surprisingly good by the way!) and sugar free fudgsicles. Always try to use olive oil to cook.
One important thing is of course to be disciplined, but to also remember that you are human and that from time to time you are going to eat a piece of cake,french fries or a greasy hamburger. If that is the exception to the way you normally eat, then that is ok go ahead and enjoy it. I sure do!”
Libby
“Whenever I'm hungry and want a snack, I make myself have something healthy first -- yogurt, piece of fruit, a handful of crackers, etc. Then, if I'm still hungry, I can have whatever I want -- Girl Scout cookies, ice cream, or Tostitos. My theory is that I end up eating less of the junky stuff because I got a little bit full with my healthy choice.”
Kathleen
On Spacing Children:
“ANYWAY, now that I'm here, at this point where Pixie is almost 4 1/2, I realize that I only JUST NOW feel 'ready' to take on another babe. And the feeling is DRAMATIC and OBVIOUS when it comes to you. All I can say, based on my own experience, is that you KNOW when you are ready...and if you do it before you are ready, if you rush into it, I honestly don't think you'll enjoy the experience as much as you could. And that's a big deal...it feels SO INCREDIBLY MAGICALLY WONDERFUL to feel ready, rested, and 100% happy about being pregnant with no.2...I am not the least bit nervous about doing it all again, in fact I feel blissful and deeply excited about it all. I have lots of energy to put into it, and have the time and space to contemplate HOW I want to do it differently this time, better. I am READY!”
Eloise
“I have to say that I never had any issues with when to have a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th or even 6th baby but used to wonder how or if I would ever know that I was 'done' and like Eloise said, you just know.....Of course if you just jump on in and have that baby you will love it and manage. but if its important to you to get that whole glowy feel wait until YOU are ready.you will know when it's time for you to have #2 and you will know when you are finished having babies...both are fabulous feelings and how glorious it is that we have the right and ability to choose”
Helen and the 6
“I actually don't think there is such a thing as a "perfect" spacing - you have to do what is right for *you*. Whether the children become playmates etc. will have more to do with their interests and personalities than their ages.”
Kate
I hope that these words of wisdom resonate with you as they did with me! While we are on the topic of good advice - writers and readers, what is the best advice you've gotten on iParenting (whether it be from a diary, message board, TTM, or article)?
Jeanette
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