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January 30, 2004
Since we’ve got a large gap in history now, I’ll never be able to update you on our year. I figured I’d settle for a big ole entry (do I write any other kind?) with all sorts of information on what Bella is in to and up to right now. This one is all about Bella, next time I’ll indulge my ego and tell you all about me :)
Tres Bella
If there is anything one would notice about Bella, it is that she is rarely subtle. My little sprite is a gal of extremes. This little girl is VERY.
Very tired or VERY wired.
Very social or very shy
Very loud or very quiet
Very brave or VERY timid
Very happy or very sad
Very pleased or VERY mad.
Very polite or very rude
Very serious or VERY silly.
Very energetic or very couch potato
Very asleep or VERY awake.
Very agreeable or very grumpy
Very persistent or very quick to give up.
Yada, yada, yada – you get my drift.
Unlike her parents, who are generally content to meander through life at a fairly even keel, our dearest darling does nothing half way. Perhaps it is just her age, and the basic unpredictableness (and yes, right now that is a word) of a child working her way through the Terrific Two’s – but based on what I’ve observed since Isabella entered our lives, I’d be willing bet that this is just how she works. It is exhilarating, frustrating, energizing and exasperating all at the same time. If nothing else, it keeps me on my toes and to tell the truth, even on the most wild, tear my hair out days, I wouldn’t change her, even if I could.
Dancing Queen/Soccer Star
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On the topic of taking things to extremes, Bella is quick to develop toddler-sized obsessions. Currently, the only thing that matters from morning to night, is dancing. Bella must wear her “dancing suits” as often as possible, she wears them to bed, and she wears them all day long. When we go out, we don’t talk about what she will wear, but rather what she will put on over the dancing suit, lest it become dirty and unwearable – horrors. (Yes, in this instance – among others – I do resort to mild scare tactics… “You wouldn’t want to pee in your dancing suit, would you?” gets her into a diaper at night. “We don’t want to get your dancing suit dirty” gets a bib on her at mealtime).
Now, any leotard won’t do, Bella has a distinct preference for the soft, velour-ish, crushed velvety type (she’s a texture girl, more on this later). This girl only really likes SOFT dancing suits. What can I say, she knows her own mind. We own about four or five such suits at present count (thanks to numerous hours scouring the racks at Goodwill) as well as several less desirable plain sort of leotards (for those emergencies when all the good ones are in the wash), several dancing skirts and one pair each of ballet and tap shoes. Once Bella has chosen her ensemble for the day, the music selection begins.
Here too, Bella develops mini-obsessions. During Christmas, the only songs that really mattered were “Up on the House Top” and “Jingle Bells’. All the rest of the beautiful Christmas Carols went into the reject pile. The current favorite is “Oh Susannah” but I see signs that that little ditty may be edged out of the top spot by “Do you know the muffin man?” Once she has picked a song, she commits to it body, mind, heart and soul. We’ve learned not to fight it, and instead just program the CD player to repeat while trying our best to forget that we are hearing “I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee” for the eight thousandth time since breakfast.
Once the outfit is perfect and the music on play, then she gets down to business. She can bump and grind with the best of them, and could give Beyonce a run for her money in the booty-shaking department. She skips, hops and jumps, spins in circles, kicks her legs in time with the beat, she shimmies, she shakes and now and then she throws in a little move we call “fancy feet”. And that is just during the free-style portion of the show. When Bella goes into Ballerina mode she can plié, pirouette, arabesque, tendu, coupé passé and port de bras well enough to make old Misha proud of this budding prima ballerina. She tells me constantly “I’m a dancing girl Mommy” and at least three times each day, “I want to go to dancing school!”
If it is not about dancing, then it is probably about soccer. The kid, despite having only watched about three minutes of a soccer game in her life - is WAY into the sport and all its accompanying paraphernalia and ANY merchandise associated with the game. I don’t know if it is something about the repeating geometric pattern of hexagons on the ball (inexplicably, hexagons were one of the first shapes she ever identified) but she cannot wait to be big enough to play. At least once every few days she’ll run up to us all excited and gleefully exclaim “I can play soccer when I get older”. The city recreation programs for soccer generally start at 3 in this area, and I can’t wait to sign her up. I’m not sure about her future as a star player however, as she generally refuses to kick the ball. For whatever reason, Bella is convinced that soccer balls are meant for throwing, and she ignores my suggestions that her feet might be put to good use here (probably afraid of ruining her dancing career). I’m guessing the coach might have a few problems with this stubborn little girl of mine.
Imagine that!
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Like most children, Isabella is a girl of great imagination. Her world is as big as can be, and it pleases me to no end to watch her create the fantasies, pretend creatures, songs and stories that fill up her days.
She sees dragons in the stairway, and monsters (sometimes nice, sometimes not) on the bookcase. She picks them up and talks to them, then puts them in her pocket (if they will fit, some of them are much too large or squirmy) for safekeeping. She finds stories in the animals and objects we encounter during our daily outings (That birdie is flying home to his mommy. He is scared and hungry. His mommy will make him feel ALL better). She enjoys elaborate roll plays with her stuffed animals and play toys (last night she changed her taxi-cab’s diaper, put him to bed and tucked him in for the night). Her mind is simply buzzing with ideas and possibilities, and it is energizing just to be a part of it. I often wonder; at what point do we adults pack away our imagination in favour of concentrating on ‘real life’? Bella’s way is much more fun.
She still loves books – but her favorite ritual lately is the stories we tell when we turn out the lights (in Bella’s mind, books and stories are two very different things and must not ever be confused. You ‘read’ books, but you ‘tell’ stories). After lights out, we lie in bed and Bella will think a big think – and then order up a story to fit her current whims.
”Tell me a story about magical ballet shoes”
“I want to hear the rainbow story”
“Tell me a dragon story, Mommy”
And then Sam and I try to come up with something that will suit her request. Sometimes the stories are long and drawn out, other times she’ll be satisfied with a brief four or five liner. Some of these stories have become favorites, and she requests them night after night. I’m going to try and type them out here so that we’ll always have a way to remember them. They change slightly from night to night, but these are the basic tales that send her off to dream land over and over and over again.
The Prince Ethan Story
“Once upon a time there was a Prince named Ethan. He was very bored, so one day he decided to go out into the forest that surrounded his castle and look for dragons to fight. Prince Ethan set off out into the forest calling, “Dragons…Dragons…Come out, come out wherever you are.”
After a little while a GREAT BIG DRAGON came out of the woods and he said in a big booming voice “What do you want Prince Ethan?” Prince Ethan replied, “I want to fight you GREAT BIG DRAGON. Will you fight me?”. The GREAT BIG DRAGON stared at Prince Ethan for a moment and replied, “No, Prince Ethan, I will not fight you. You are too little.”
And so Prince Ethan walked on, calling out “Dragons….Dragons….Come out, come out wherever you are”.
After a little while longer a little tiny dragon came out of the woods and he said in a little tiny squeaky voice “What do you want Prince Ethan?” Prince Ethan replied, “I want to fight you little tiny dragon. Will you fight me?”. The little tiny dragon stared at Prince Ethan for a moment and replied, “No, Prince Ethan, I will not fight you. You are too big.”
And so Prince Ethan walked on, calling out “Dragons….Dragons….Come out, come out wherever you are”.
After a while a rather ordinary, Medium Sized Dragon came out of the woods and said, in a rather ordinary and medium sized voice “What do you want Prince Ethan?” Prince Ethan replied, “I want to fight you Medium Sized Dragon. Will you fight me?”. The Medium Sized Dragon stared at Prince Ethan for a moment and replied, “No Prince Ethan, I will not fight you. Fighting is not nice. I WILL NOT fight you, but I WILL be your friend.”
Prince Ethan thought for a moment, and then a big smile stretched across his face. A friend was just what he had needed all along. So the Medium Sized Dragon (whose named happened to be Herkimer) took Prince Ethan by the hand, and they were best friends from that moment on…
The Rainbow Story
Once upon a time there was a little girl named Bella. She was a nice girl, she lived in a nice house, on a nice street, in a nice town and she had very, very nice parents. But, she didn’t have many adventures.
One morning Bella woke up and looked out her window. Much to her excitement she saw a great big rainbow. It was pink and blue and green and (Bella supplies the colours) and it was the most beautiful rainbow she had ever seen. When her Mommy came in the room Bella said “Look Mommy, isn’t that the most beautiful rainbow ever?” And her Mommy replied, “Yes, little Bella – it certainly is”.
“Mommy”, asked Bella, “Is it true that there is a treasure at the end of every rainbow?”. “Yes, little Bella” replied the very, very nice Mommy, “that is certainly true, there IS a treasure at the end of each and every rainbow. “ After her Mommy left, Bella thought and thought. Then she put on her purple sketchers, and her pink backpack and she decided that she would go and find the treasure.
So Bella walked. She walked and she walked and she walked. She crossed the desert, and the arctic ice fields. She climbed tall mountains and swam across wide rivers. Finally, she saw the end of the rainbow in the distance – and right below it there was a great big golden pot. Bella was so excited that she ran as fast as her little legs would carry her, and she peeked up over the edge of the great big golden pot to see what was inside.
And do you know what was inside the big golden pot? Why – it was filled with delicious chocolate! Little Bella was so excited, she couldn’t wait to bring home all this chocolate and share it with her family and friends. She tried and tried to lift the big golden pot, but it was no use. She was too little and it was too big. Little Bella sat on the ground and cried.
“Boo Hoo Hoo. Boo Hoo Hoo. I came all this way and now I’ll never get to bring the treasure home. Boo Hoo Hoo”.
After a minute, a huge flock of birds heard this strange sound and they came flying to investigate. The biggest bird saw Bella crying and said, “Little girl, why are you crying?” Bella looked up at the bird and replied “I came all this way to find the treasure at the end of the rainbow, but now I can’t take it home. I am just too little. Boo Hoo Hoo”. The bird thought for a moment and then he said, “I think we can help you little girl, climb on my back.
So Bella climbed on the back of the biggest bird, and all the other birds gathered around the Big Golden Pot and lifted it with their beaks. Together they flew Bella back to her nice home, on the nice street in the nice town. Everyone was very excited to see her, especially her very, very nice parents.
And you know what? Guess what they all ate for dinner that night? Chocolate Pizza! (This last bit was made up by Bella and gets yelled with great excitement each and every time we tell the story)
Classification Fascination
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Another one of Bella’s favorite activities of late is classification. She enjoys sorting objects, comparing them to one another, figuring out where they belong and how objects relate.
“This wheel is big and that wheel is little.”
“I am shorter than you, and you are taller than me.”
“The blue bear does not go with all the pink bears.”
“That balloon is shiny but this one is not.”
“I have one and you have one, we have the same”
It is interesting to watch her as her daily comparisons and classifications help her to further understand the way her world works, and how she in turn fits within the bigger picture. The funniest example of this came just the other day, while Bella and I were taking our morning shower together. She kept looking at herself and then at me, back and forth and back and forth, the wheels in her brain were spinning at a million miles a minute. After a few moments she piped up,
“Mommy, I have little hands, and you have big hands.”
…. A few more seconds of quiet contemplation…
“And I have little feet, and you have big feet.”
…And here’s the kicker….
“Mommy – I have a little bum….but you have a really BIG BUM!”.
…Big sigh on my part – kids certainly are observant, aren’t they?
The Texture Of Our Lives
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I’ve read before that we all have one sense, out of the five available to us, that we focus on above all else as we navigate our world. For most of us, I’d bet that sight plays the largest role in our interpretation and memories of life’s events. However, I know people who are extremely sensitive to and oriented toward smells. When they talk about a memory, they describe what it smelled like at a particular time, even before they mention anything else.
For Bella, the top sense is touch. She is highly focused on textures. I think my mom was the first person to really point it out to me, but once I noticed it – it seemed so obvious. When Bella enters a room, she’ll bend down to feel the carpet, or run her hands along the wall. Most of her descriptive words first focus on how something feels (soft, hard, silky, squishy, slippery, scratchy) instead of how it looks. When we go shopping, the most frequent refrain is “I need to touch it”. She can see something, smell it, hear it or taste it – but if she has not gotten to touch it - I don’t think she can truly understand and feel comfortable with it.
Bella enjoys things that feel good to her. She loves cuddly teddy bears, soft clothing, silky scarves and fluffy mittens. Anything soft and fluffy will work for sucking her thumb, but she will rarely rely on this calming behaviour if she does not have something in her hands that meets her criteria. She is also very much attached to objects that are squishy. She has a small collection of toys - among them a special rubber chicken that she picked out especially for Sam for his Christmas present - that are soft and pliable (think Stress Balls). They are known around these parts as her “squishies” and they often get taken to bed along with her special bear. When she is stressed or upset, and even a teddy bear does not work, the squishies often do the trick. I’m very glad my mother gave me this insight into her mind, because it has been very helpful in understanding her wants and needs, and has given us tools to work with her when she is tired or frustrated.
B-E-L-L-A
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Okay, last (and least) in my roundup of all things Bella is her inclination for spelling, and letters in general. I can’t even remember when this started, but soon after she learned her letters (at some point last year, darn me for not keeping a diary) she started asking us to spell things. We’ve passed hours in the car spelling aloud various objects and scenery that passed by the windows of our vehicle. She learned to spell her name (the last syllable at least) somewhere around her second birthday, and then quickly added Mommy, Daddy, Stop and Nik (her friend). She can spell them aloud, and recognize the words when written. (Her learning stopped there, because she switched to dancing as her raison d’etre, I’m guessing we’ll come back to spelling sometime soon) She’ll sit down at her little table, bend her little head down over the paper and write with her pen (it must be a pen, crayons are for babies, dontcha know?) making the tiniest, most precise lines and squiggles. From a distance, you’d swear she was writing for real. On and on she’ll go. “U-V-E-R spells Rooster”, “M-M-M-T-P spells door”, etc, etc. Sometimes, completely by accident, her pen will actually form something closely resembling a letter from the English language, and oh, what excitement! She’ll come running for the nearest parent or otherwise acceptable human (or animal, in a pinch) and exclaim over her cleverness, “Look Mommy, I made a little N”. She knows the steps to making letters and will repeat over and over again “Up-Down-Across – I made an A”, while making circles and random lines all over the page. I wonder, what is proper response? Do I lie and say “My, what a beautiful A.”, thereby strengthening her belief that she is, indeed, a genius, and perpetuating her belief that A’s can take any shape she desires, or do I stick with honesty, “No, that is not an A. Not even close, dear one.” and ruin her happiness with a spirit-crushing “I’ll show you how to do it the right way”. Agh – the dilemmas of parenthood.
Jeanette
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