 | Diary Navigation:
|
August 19, 2002
God’s Purpose
Before you were conceived, I wanted you,
Before you were born, I loved you
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you,
This is the miracle of love.
~Maureen Hawkins
Chicken Soup for a Mothers Soul
I was watching OPRAH one day while on maternity leave with Hannah and the subject was “Determining Your Purpose or Destiny.” This brought much thought and discussion with DH and I. I had never really thought about the "one thing" that I was intended to do. What was my PURPOSE? In the early morning hours, as I was nursing our newborn daughter I realized that she, and future children, were my purpose--My purpose is to be a mom. This realization came like a breeze, or breath of fresh air over me. And when I think about it, I can honestly say that nothing in my life has meant more to me than my childrens’ happiness and well-being.
That night, that moment I will remember for my entire life. I was listening to Hannah’s lullaby tape and remember the soft smell of Ivory Snow detergent on her soft pink gown. I remember the expression of contentment she had on her face, and I knew this was definitely a moment to cherish like none other.
With this realization came a great maternal instinct and reassurance and at this point I knew everything would be okay with Hannah and our future children. I remember feeling that I might not do everything right, and make all of the right decisions or choices, but as long as my intentions were the best for Hannah, that she and I would be fine. This came as great relief to a new mother who was nervous about literally everything in Hannah’s environment. I questioned every decision I made concerning my new precious daughter and wondered if I was going to do her some terrible injustice by the decisions that I was making where she was concerned.
As our 2nd child's birthday approaches, I feel much more optimistic about Camryn’s arrival. I feel much more at ease with her birth and infancy. I look forward to the quiet nights nursing her back to a peaceful slumber. Feeling her little head rest so sweetly on my shoulder, nuzzling my neck. I am so excited to have the smells of a new born baby consume my home, and fill the air.
This makes me hesitant to make the decision that Camryn will be our last child. DH and I have discussed having future children, but feel as though two children will be plenty to keep us more than busy for a long time. Plus financially, we feel that two children will probably be our limit in order to provide the lifestyle that we have envisioned. Maybe after Hannah and Camryn have entered school, we will change our minds, but for now it appears that are family is almost complete. But who knows if mother nature will surprise once again. Hopefully next time she will at least wait until Camryn is walking.
Blessings to all,
Jamie
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
