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October 20, 2003
***Can we please get this over with?***
Last Friday afternoon, fed up with the bleeding that hadn't stopped since my D&C two weeks earlier, I went back to the hospital. An ultrasound showed I had a blood clot in there, and that I required ANOTHER D&C immediately.
I'd been doing really well (I'd even go so far as to say "fine") until that point, but when they told me that I'd have to stay and have another D&C, I just lost it. Not because of the miscarriage, but because Dima was in Moscow on business, would be there the whole weekend, the nanny was supposed to be leaving in an hour, it was Friday at 6:30 p.m., and I have nobody to leave the kids with. Add that to the frustration and physical stress of a D&C, two weeks of bleeding and ANOTHER D&C, I wanted it to be over. I certainly didn't want any more general anaesthetics and invasive procedures. Did I have a choice? Not really.
The doctor promised me I'd be "in and out in an hour", and two hours later, I stumbled out of the hospital, feeling like a college freshman who'd drunk too much spiked punch at a frat party. Fortunately, Andrei and Anna were already asleep when I got home and didn't see me in my drug-induced state. I sent Vika (the nanny) home, and fell into bed to sleep off the effects of the anaesthetic.
I really hope that the bleeding will totally stop in the next few days and I'll get some closure to this whole experience. Dima talks about trying to conceive again when we get the green light in January. I can't really imagine wanting to try again, though maybe by January that will have changed. I do want 3 children, but I'm not sure I can handle another pregnancy (or G-D forbid, drawn out miscarriage). Though I may get pregnant every time I have unprotected sex, and could give birth in a field while harvesting cabbages, my body doesn't seem to do the actual "pregnancy" part of things very well. Over the past 7 years, Dima and I have talked a lot about adoption, and I'll be honest and say that in my heart, I do want to adopt. Dima is more hesitant (there's still quite a huge stigma against adoption here), but also thinks he wants to do it.
***Do it yourself nose job***
My doctor said that it would be fine to work out, and I was more than happy to go to the gym today before work. Well, I had a great workout, and was leaving the changeroom and ***BOOM!*** slammed right into an open locker door, giving myself an instant nose job. Not only do I have a huge headache, I have a cut between my left eye and my nose, which now looks like a large potato planted asymmetrically on my face.
Man, the injustice of it all!
***Nyusik and Andryusha***
Because it's so cold here, the kids sleep in pjs, wool socks and fleece blanket sleepers. Well, Nyus has a habit of taking off her blanket sleepers after I put her to bed at night, the result of which is that we have to put them back on after she falls asleep. Half the time, she wakes up and fights to get the blanket sleepers off, accompanying the struggle with hysterical screaming. A couple of nights ago, I told her a story about how the bunnies on her blanket sleepers will be really sad if she takes them off. They really like sleeping with her, knowing that they keep her warm, and she hurts their feelings when she takes them off. They'll start to cry, because Nyusik doesn't love them. Can you believe it?! This story actually worked! The evening I told it to her, a few minutes after I'd put her to bed, I heard frantic screams and crying. I went in to see what was going on, and there was Anna. By habit, she'd taked off her blanket sleepers and was crying "mama, put my pyjamas back on!" This has repeated itself three evenings now.
The cold Anna had turned out not to be a cold, or if it was, it disappeared in 3 days. Now Andrei has the runny nose. I suppose this is the downside of pre-school (or of fall/winter/spring in St. Petersburg). Dima and my dad also have constant sinus problems, as soon as the temperature drops to zero, they're sniffling and snorting Nazivin (nasal spray) like there's no tomorrow, so I guess Andrei and Anna are victims of genetic selection. I have had a lifelong immunity to the common cold (knocking loudly on wood as I write this) which always astonished family and friends. Go ahead, cough in my face, sneeze on me, I'm not gonna get it. (Though the entire family ate the same watermelon, and I was the only one to end up in the hospital with dysentery, so life IS fair.)
***Winter wonderland***
We had our first snowstorm yesterday. Andrei was beside himself with excitement. He reminded me of the Alaskan malamute (like a husky) I had when I was a child. He spent about an hour glued to the window giving me a play-by-play account of how the snow was falling. This morning, he couldn't wait to get outside and be in the snow. Anna's opinion is closer to my own: "mama, I don't like it, make it go away." Oh, Anna, if only I could! Ick! This weekend will be lost buying snow tires for our new car and winter clothes for the kids. Kids winter clothes are (IMHO) exorbitantly expensive, especially when you have to buy for two (for example, one pair of mittens is about $20 US, and you need mittens, boots, down pants, down coats, hats, long underwear ... the only thing from last year that fits are the scarves...). Ever tried to get a 1.9 year old and a 3.5 year old dressed for a 30 minute walk to pre-school in -10 degrees? You have to start an hour before you are actually planning to leave the house.
Which reminds me, I need to buy flashlights. It's still almost dark when we leave the house in the morning (is there a word for the morning equivalent of "twilight"), and I promised the kids I'd buy them flashlights for the walk to preschool.
On that note, I wish everyone a warm, healthy week.
Lisa
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