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April 3, 2003
April 3, 2004
This is not a true entry, but a mere statement of the facts, the past and my feelings on the subject as I feel they are important and should be heard. I am going to just post this to everyone here as it is easier than going back and addressing each and every very valid and well thought out post on my TTM board. I do want everyone to know however that I appreciated and welcome all your posts and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kindness and support...
What would you think if you went to your child’s webpage guest book one day and found this message:
"Wow! Wild Kingdon is back! Cameron is adorable! His hair color is
) that
) ) of a
) ) ) ) spider monkey but I noticed he doesn't have a long tail so I assumed
) he
) ) is
) ) ) ) of the chimpanzee or Orangutan variety! My favorite primate is the
) ) ) ) chimpanzee and I own 2 of them! I would love it if Cameron and my
) chimps
) ) ) ) could get together and play! Don't you hate walking by the bananas
and
) ) ) ) watermelon in the grocery store? Does Cameron's nursery have velcro
on
) ) the
) ) ) ) ceiling? I will writemore later! Hugs tree vines and bananas to your
) ) ) ) precious adorable little chimp! Merry christmas! Effie P.S. That
) barber
) ) ) ) ripped you off! Get your money back"! "
) ) ) )
) )
)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~What would you think if you read this about your child? Pretty disturbing,
eh? Just the typos and misspellings alone are unsettling, let’s not even start with the content, right? Yeah well, after my computer had been down for about a week earlier this year, I finally got back online and when I did, I immediately went straight to my
email inbox. Amongst the some odd 500+ messages waiting for me was this
one from an "Effie Mae Jefferson" at ChimpsRMe@ubangitribe.com, saying that
this person has signed my baby's guest book. Thinking it was a joke, I went to the page
and found this most enlightening message.
Not long after that, another message of a similar content was posted. I chose to ignore this message just as I had the last.
Last night as I was preparing to upload new pictures on Cameron’s webpage, I noticed a picture that had been posted to his page that was not one I recognized. I immediately suspected foul play and spoke to my friends about it. This sort of opened the floodgates on my TTM board and if you go there and read, you will understand more about what happened. So, based upon this information I have written so far, I will start what is to be considered an unofficial entry. Unofficial in the sense that it is not your typical entry, but still an entry as I truly hope one day that Cameron will read it in his baby diary book that I keep for him.
First of all, Lisa, I am so sorry that you were indirectly blamed for something that turned out to be completely innocuous. This was totally not your fault and no one was ever mad at you in the least. I also applaud you and thank you for coming out and telling me exactly what happened, that had to have been hard. I just saw those pictures and we all sort of assumed the worst. Suffice to say, I have been burned before by these very unfortunate comments regarding Cameron’s race and appearance that were posted in his webpage guest book. I erroneously assumed that the ill-placed picture was more of the same. The reason I never mentioned these previous messages before was because I never felt like it was worth mentioning. I mean, clearly, anyone who would call my child a monkey, refer to him as eating watermelon or bananas, make reference to his hair being like Velcro and a whole host of equally ridiculous comments, are not worth my time, or anyone else’s. I was also heeding the past advice of several people who have posted on my board, and other boards as well. What was said was basically in a nutshell that as women, we all need to grow up, stop all this silly fighting with each other over utter nonsense, and move on. So, that’s what I have been trying to do. Apparently not everyone can say the same. I don’t honestly see what the fixation is with me or my life, it’s not all that great or that interesting to anyone but me, so why would anyone waste their time trying to be involved in it, even negatively? I do know that when I don’t like someone, I cut them out of my life completely. I may even take the time to tell that person I am doing it and why. But then that’s the end of it. I don’t linger on, trying to pathetically go back, hoping to be thrown a scrap. That’s what is so mind-boggling to me. Why people are obsessed with me or my child and are that annoyed by my presence that they would want to attack us? Is there any gain in that? I mean, if you want to make fun of me or my child behind our backs, go right ahead, what do I care? Knock yourself out as far as I am concerned. But to post a hateful message on a person’s webpage that their entire family can see is just pure evil.
Someone mentioned in an earlier post that Cameron is beautiful. Clearly, I think he is because I am his mother. But that doesn’t really matter. Whether he is ugly as sin or as beautiful as the Gerber baby is not the issue. While I appreciate the compliment, the bottom line is that when we attack someone based upon their race, we are not attacking their looks, we are attacking what they are, what they will always be and what they would never, and should never want to change. It clearly takes a low class, redneck, inbred type of individual to stoop to that level and - to not know the difference.
I have to wonder if these people truly think they are altering my life somehow by posting such hateful things. I mean, clearly, no one wants to read such garbage, it almost made me laugh how incredibly childish and immature the posts were. Yet still, did they think I was going to take to my bed or something? Or perhaps they thought I would password protect my webpage so no one could see it? Maybe they thought I’d just take down the whole page altogether. I can assure you that none of the above will ever happen. First of all, I have other things in my life to concern myself with besides low class individuals such as these. Second, I am not password protecting my page since I like the fact that anyone who wants to see Cameron, can. I am sure that makes my enemies insane with fury, to know that people want to see him but that’s fine – I can sleep very well at night knowing that. If people want to continue to post these messages, they can go right ahead. I get an immediate notification in my inbox telling me when a person has posted a message so it’s only a matter of time before I will easily remove it. Not a problem at all. (Not to mention, the more frequent the posts, the easier it is to trace the poster through the ISP. To date, the poster’s Internet Service Provider has been identified and I have been informed that it is only a matter of time before they are tracked down). Third, I like having Cameron’s webpage set up on Babies Online and I am not taking it down, certainly not because some low IQ-having hillbilly decided to enlighten us with their brilliant commentary. Please.
I truly believe that people who do these sorts of things are just sad, angry, lonely people. People who wish they were happier and who are angry that others have the happiness they crave. As this strife has originated out of my presence here at iParenting, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the people who continue to attack me are either mothers or hopefuls, wishing they could be. I am not an overly religious person myself but I do truly believe that in the end, these people will receive a horrible payback for their actions. Whether it results in a TTC’er who never gets that child she wants, or an already existing mother who laments her existence as a human being in general, is anyone’s guess at this point. But make no mistake, there will be repercussions for such actions. There are always are.
As an added bonus, there was another message made in addition to the racist ones about how I have all these self-serving pictures of myself on Cameron’s webpage, and how I must be one insecure individual to post pictures of myself on the site. I myself, look at the situation differently. Clearly, I AM secure if I post pictures of myself for the entire WWW to see. And that is not said with an iota of arrogance. I in no way mean to say that my body looks fabulous and I am therefore so confident about posting pictures of it. What I do mean to say is that regardless of the many physical flaws I do have, and there are many, I AM secure enough to post pictures of myself regardless of them or in spite of them. They are who I am and I have to be happy with myself even if no one else is. As far as posting pictures of myself on my child’s webpage, I don’t really see the big deal. To date, I probably have, and I am not kidding, 5000 pictures of Cameron. At LEAST. I have posted many, many pictures of him on his webpage and I am sure by now that there are not many people left on this planet who DON’T know what he looks like. I hardly think that pictures other than ones of him are going to cause the earth to implode or anyone’s head to spin on its axis. And naturally, it does go without saying that one always has the option of not going to Cameron’s webpage if one finds the pictures so disturbing. Yes, I know, what a novel idea. I, for one, only frequent the web pages of people I enjoy looking at and am not in the habit of gravitating to those websites of people I dislike, scouring the pictures for any possible flaw I can find. I was actually flattered though. If it bothered someone enough to post a message angrily stating that I had too many pictures of myself, then they must have been some damn good pictures. I mean, if I had looked horrible, no one would be begging me to take them down, now would they? Oh the logic of the stupid, it is so amusing.
Honestly, when I said not long ago that I would not be continuing a diary here, this is the reason why. It’s not that I couldn’t handle it but I sort of felt like our safety might be at issue. You can never be too sure. Look at what happened to Megan. When people are obsessed with you, anything is possible. I feel sort of bad having shifted the blame it on iParenting when it was really more about this particular issue. Then I thought about it and I said that it would be a stupid reason to leave. And honestly, how could I disappoint my enemies like that? They would miss me and stories about my life so much, I could never disappoint them by taking away their lifeblood, now could I?
Actually, I would like to take this moment to thank all of these individuals who went out of their way to do me this huge favor, the favor being, giving my son a formal introduction to racism. This is the exact sort of thing I think Cameron needs to realize early on, that despite the fact that it is 2000 and whatever year, there are still racist pieces of garbage lurking about that you must always be aware of. They are like roaches, so resilient, they would survive a nuclear holocaust. I had always planned to teach Cameron early on to have tough skin, exactly as I do, and there is no better place to start than right
here. Words like these are nothing to run from or be upset by, they are
just inane babble uttered by the weak, the cowardly and the unintelligent. All
I can say is that it must truly hurt to be in that much pain. You'd have
to be suffering internally to publicly post a terrible message such
as this one directly to an innocent child’s webpage. Say what you want about me behind
your back but to come to my forum and post this is just pretty lame. Not unbelievable considering the source, but lame nonetheless.
The sad thing about people like these is that they try to hide behind anonymity
and don't have the mental power or the intelligence to come up with
something of any substance to really upset me or God forbid, make me think.
They have merely succeeded in demonstrating to the WWW that they are about as pernicious as they have always been believed to be.
I feel sorry for people like these and the lives they touch, be it their own children, who will undoubtedly turn out just like them, or society as a whole. I don’t hate these people, nor do I wish them any harm, though I am sure misfortune will inevitably befall them. I have found that when a person is as miserable and cruel as these people are, their lives play out quite tragically. It’s sad, really. So very sad.
Finally, I thank you for allowing me to speak my mind and also, for allowing me to make it publicly known exactly what lurks out there in the land of the unknown, a place where one can hide behind the façade of a computer monitor and attack an innocent child.
All the best,
Corinne
PS: And wouldn’t you know it, new pictures are posted. GRIN
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/swiss/
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