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August 21, 2003
"aboo daw, mama!"; the first time my sweet daughter rolled over as the earlymorning-meets-midmorning bright sunlight streamed into our room, and she lifted her blanket-creased, sleepy-filled, shining face and bade me, mama, a Happy Day, my heart nearly melted or exploded or imploded or perhaps it was as simple as overflowing with love and joy; joy and love flowing forth as hot, burning tears that I squeezed back while fighting internalized feelings of ridiculous sentimentality and self-loathing for being so emotional and tear-prone, the battle finally culminating with a simultaneous burst of giggle and laughter springing forth past my lower lip-bite dam and the relieving release of that stream of tears of joy and love. "Oh yes, Summer Lily! It IS a Happy Day; thank you for reminding me!"; we wiggle in our soft, cozy blankets, arrange our pillows, offer our sleepy feline bedmates Good Morning, Happy Day kisses and pats and scratches and tummy rubs. More giggles and wiggles and soon we're up up up, jumping on the bed (cats scatter!) and running off down the hall, Happy Day stretching out before us, brimming with the self-fulfilling promise of nothing more than a Happy Day.
What a gift!
What joy!
What pleasure it is, to start each new and fresh day with such tidings of goodwill, and hope, and joy.. and love, love from my babygirl daughter. Her own simplistic, perfect, innocent way of greeting the day, so ideal, so unencumbered by unnecessary thought and ritual: happy day, mama.
Only adding to my mama-love for this toddler wake-up call is the knowledge that Happy Day is her own, her very own; her greeting, her wish, her prayer, created by her without formal outside influence or intentional teaching from mama or dad or TV or church or... or....
How comforting it is, to start each fresh new day, being reminded that today is a Happy Day, simply because every day is a Happy Day, not because we are celebrating any single annual event, or because we've Big Plans that need to be carried out, or because yesterHappy Day contained promises of exciting, fun things to happen on todayHappy Day; Happy Day because it is today, and we've all of today to enjoy it.
It is a great feat of mindfulness, for the first waking thought of each morning to not be focused on
more sleep...
not time yet..
too early! too early!
too early for waking up!
Yet, she reaches out and embraces each morning, sunny or grey, early or late, with such ease, enthusiasm, and peace, that I must simply smile, or laugh or cry joy, or all three and more, and accept the teaching of Happy Day from this buddha-child of two; recognizing the purity, realizing the intrinsic truth in her lispy call to mindfulness, and savouring once again the sweet truth of the reality that she is the shining potential of enlightenment realized and forgotten, a blank slate, she is knowledge, she is pure raw perfection, and if, if... if I parent well, if I do it right, if I guide her and hold her hand and pick her up when she falls down, if I do my job properly, she will remain as thus, the person she is supposed to be.
in lovingkindness,
Ashley.
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