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September 21, 2004
I have barely any time, but leaving you hanging feels so dramatic and I'm a drama queen only sometimes.
This is the WORST flu I've ever been a part of. Brace yourself because it's out there.
I though Brandan was bad. Then Kaillan had it worse than him. Now Emersan is in worst shape. She's on day 18. Emmie had the gastro part of it for about 8 days then she started the cold/cough part of it. Though she's had a fever on and off for most of the time, for nine straight days she had a non-stop high fever that hit 105.2. She's weak, quiet and looks terribly sad.
For the last week we were at the hospital or our pediatrician's every day, juggling life and the other two kids, worried sick about this one. Emmie's had IVs and blood tests and urine tests and a chest x-ray. She fought every one of those tests with every ounce of Irish-Italian strong will she came by naturally. Trust me, she's stacked. Here and there, she gave up and gave in.
Emmie has double ear and a throat infection. She has pneumonia and because of it, bronchial asthma. Thank God I was with the doctor when the first attack happened or I'd have freaked. When she coughs, her lips turn blue, her skin grey. Monday morning, she had her last high fever, I'm convinced that's a good sign. Though she coughs A LOT, when she throws up because of it, there's a lot of mucous, so I feel we're getting somewhere. I want my Emmie back. I don't remember the last time she smiled. While I can't honestly say she sounds or looks better, I can comfortably say she's not getting worse.
I feel fairly overwhelmed. I missed so many days at work and I had to let everything go at home. I can't finish anything properly, can't find anything, I'm forgetting things and wasting time trying to keep up, never mind catch up. Mostly I'm really tired. For all the bad days, I guess today happens to be mine. Do I sound down? I don't mean to, I complain, but I don't actually feel miserable. I know I'll catch up, this week or next, or after the kids get married. Over lunch I'm going to sort out my papers. Tonight, I vow to catch up on my laundry. One accomplishment at a time and I'll work through my little mess. I found a lot of comfort in those who helped or I know I could count on. Friends would pick up Brandan after school, or who'd relieve us of Kaillan when she was her most charming, obstinate self. My in-laws stayed with the kids overnight a couple times so Remo could be with me. In writing this, I feel very grateful. For everything that goes wrong, you have to consider all that's good and cool and that it'll all work out or you'll find a way.
Life's like that.
I read the board but don't have the time to answer properly now. Till that happens, I thank you.
Allisun
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