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April 26, 2003
Well guys, after much deliberation and heightened anticipation (a girl can hope, can't she?), the great Montreal 2003 pyjama party weekend is now up for grabs. What I found coolest in reading the other girls entries, was how each of our personalities came out in each of our versions. We lived the same weekend yet we saw it differently, individual. It was a great weekend, hopefully we'll have many more getaways to share, I know there's a lot of people who swore they'll be in on the next one, could we at least all agree to somewhere warm???
Alicia's recap was posted on April 22nd with no paragraph divisions. Sorry! May they one day invent an entry previewer! Jen's version was posted on April 23rd. Amy's version was posted on April 24th AND April 25th. Never have I seen a post exceed a length limit before (move over Jeanette and Corinne when her diary becomes real!), make yourself comfortable for hers. And me? I'm here on April 26th. Sometime next week I'll get back into the usual entry swing of things.
My bet is you're still reading these ones till then.
Good luck!!!
My side of things....
If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times, my memories have left the building. I can't remember when exactly we started talking of a little reunion, though I do remember it initiated with going to Chicago to see Oprah and deviated when I got pregnant and wasn't sure if I'd be allowed. One night, I asked Remo for his opinion on the endeavour, would he prefer that I go to Chicago or they come here? He said it would probably be more practical if they came here, though later I learned it was because he was so sure nobody would come.
Fast forward a couple of months to when countdowns started and I was so busy with life and gastros I didn't have a chance to give the trip much thought. Then all of a sudden one day, Jen H. asked me a question that took me aback; didn't it feel weird that they knew everything about me and I knew nothing about them? Though I hadn't given it much thought save for a few, "I hope you don't come here and kill us" musings, all of a sudden, yes, I got very weirded out. These girls wouldn't just know me from what I'd written, they'd spend days with me in my house, in my life, with my family, getting to know more than just the me I write about. When I told the real lifers some friends I'd never met were coming to stay with us, a couple of them were quick to point out this time I'd clearly lost my mind.
When it came down to it, what I really knew, besides they seemed very nice, wasn't a lot.
In the couple days before the girls were set to arrive we landed another virus at home, I was overloaded at work and the baby felt like it was falling out. That was actually my biggest panic. So when I could've been spiffing up the house or us, I'd run home from work and park myself on the couch on my left side with my legs elevated. And then fall asleep. That I had a sore throat too was my other excuse. When Thursday morning arrived bright and cheerful, I had to leap out of bed and rush like a maniac because Alicia's flight landed at 2:30 and I only had four hundred million things to do.
Days had become hours.
The one thing I had in my head I HAD to do was have the van cleaned lest I kill them with my first impression. How long could that take? Twenty, thirty minutes max? Once before, I'd also bought this little plastic odour remover container that's supposed to suck up smells. The only place I'd seen that in was Walmart, was it worth a stop there? Unequivocally, yes. Given that I always stretch time, I figured I'd have to leave the house by 1:30 to get the car done at my usual place and make it to the airport in time. Hopefully, it would take Alicia half an hour to get her luggage, get through customs and get to me. I ran into Walmart with the most focus ever and was in and out in minutes. Since I left the house late, I had some time to make up for. At the car wash, there were twenty cars backed out onto the road. Shoot. I crossed over three lanes to head to the next major road, where something told me there was another one. I called Remo to ask for real directions and gulped when I got there, all those cars. Less than the other place, but how fast would it move? How come none of these people were working? I pulled in and sat through five minutes (felt like forty) and knew I was wasting my life. I bounced out of the car and asked the girl behind me to back up so I could get out of the line. She wasn't impressed but I felt worse for me. Back on the road and heading to the airport with my new plan to clean the car after picking up Alicia, all of a sudden I remembered another handwash place I could try. I pulled around the back entrance and wondered if the heavens had just opened up. Only one car in line! When it was my turn to pull in the garage and someone turned the hose on, I saw five, maybe six cars ahead of me, including another van and two Ford Expeditions. Have you seen one of those up close? Huge, impossible to clean fast. The guy swore I'd be out in ten minutes and anyway, I was stuck. I ran back to the van and pulled out my bag, digging through a month of internet printouts looking for their flight itinerary. I nixed the hand dry part of the cleaning and shot out of there, 2:45, the airport was fifteen minutes away. Just as I was getting close, Annabelle called to say Brandan was complaining about his ears and he was feverish. That's when I made a too early turn and ended up lost behind the airport. Uuuugggghhhh. Wrong turn, right turn, right turn, right turn, I flew into the parking lot and ran for the arrival door. I knew her from way back but didn't holler. At that point I remember thinking for sure the baby's falling out for real now.
A little while back I'd seen a picture of Alicia (pronounced Alisha, and very hard to keep straight when you have an Alee-see-ya in your life). Standing outside the airport, looking for me, her hair was shorter and blonder than the picture, but it had to be her. In Montreal, we do a two cheek kiss, it's all I know and it makes hellos to a non-Montrealer awkward. I think I hugged her, grabbed a bag and shuffled her back to that really shiny van. She was just as I imagined her and very friendly. And there's no question she talked as much, maybe even more than me. Fifteen minutes after we met, we were standing in front of a pastry window each picking out three french pastries. I chose the ones I knew were good, she picked ones I thought were not their best, but I didn't know her well enough to interfere. It would take till the next day to not be shy.
We went to my house, dropped off her stuff and unpacked the highly anticipated girl guide cookies. I knocked back a row, forgot to offer her anything and then Remo showed up with Kaillan and Dee Dee came with Brandan. We could squeeze in only a few minutes of small talk before we had to run and get Amy. I dropped Alicia off at arrivals and drove around and around while she went to find her. During my fourth circle I spotted them. Having seen a picture of Amy before, she was pretty much what I expected, maybe a little taller, hair a little shorter and with glasses, and feeling pretty lousy after flying with a cold.
Back to my house in time for supper and I had second thoughts about what I had chosen. Pasta with garlic, olives, rappini, pine nuts and chick peas. We like it because it's light and healthy, though I could tell neither one of them had ever eaten most of those ingredients before. So I tried to sell them on how healthy it was for them, said it maybe twenty times. Dee Dee and Remo took the kids to the doctor's AGAIN, where Brandan became the proud owner of double ear infections and I think we looked at pictures for some time before we talked our ears off till one o'clock in the morning.
Before they came, I wondered what will we talk about? What will we REALLY have in common? I thought about some of my girlfriends from out west. Given that I only see them once or twice a year or two, we have less and less in common now save for the kids, the people we knew. If sometimes I was shy to reacquaint with those I'd known my whole life, how would it be with people I'd never even spoken to? I have to say it was way easier than I could've imagined. First of all, I didn't have to explain a bunch of stuff about the people in my life, or most of how I plow through life. And you'd be surprised at how much we know about the iparenting gang or how much I didn't know. Hashing and rehashing was actually a riot.
Friday morning, one of my closest girlfriends, Claudia, with baby Gabriel, came over and we headed off to the Osh Kosh warehouse sale. Claudia and I did the most damage and then because a girl can never have enough shopping, we set off for the mall. At one point we lost Amy, found her and grabbed a bite to eat before we headed back home for supper. Grilled vegetables and chicken and oops, Alicia didn't like red pepper (half the grilled vegetables). Alicia had very little she wasn't crazy about, but Amy had a list a mile long and a lot of other things I could see made her leery. Way back, I was very picky, maybe even worse, and I swore there were a lot of things I could convert her on, if only for a little more time. Not to say anybody was starving because it seemed like we were eating every fifteen minutes. And just because I'm sure they're going to bring all that eating up, can I say in my own defence, that while yes, I admittedly love food, there were a lot of things I had to introduce them to in a very short time? Again, that night we made the one o'clock club. No sooner had we trolluped upstairs and didn't Princess Kaillan demand her morning cereal? While Remo and I tried to keep her quiet and tried to trick her into going back to bed, she got more and more choked with us. Till 3:30 in the morning, I'd rock and cuddle her, but even in a coma she knew I was trying to slither away and she'd pop up wailing. Then finally when I was impossibly exhausted, I settled into my bed, where Brandan had hunckered down between us, with adenoids the size of a car and a snore that would wake everybody but Alicia (she brought her ocean waves contraption, ANYBODY coming to stay with us should invest in one of those). I actually got stressed out because for sure I would never sleep again and Kaillan was banging around in her crib. So I grabbed my pillow and went to settle in Kaillan's big girl room. When the two little hooligans (the kids!) finally found me hours later and sleeping in was out of the question, I reluctantly got up. I felt like a truck had smashed through my head.
Maybe two hours later, in walked Jen H. I knew less about her than the others but from the first moment I met her, she reminded me very much of a cousin of mine who I hadn't seen in maybe twenty years. When I should've been getting dressed, I had to dig out an old picture just to prove it, though the other girls just sort of nodded at the resemblance. Jen H. has long blond hair, beautiful royal blue eyes and I just loved her wedding and engagement rings. Silly I guess, to mention that here, but they caught my eye, and hours later I'd managed to get them off her finger and on to mine. Come to think of it, I should've shown them to Remo lest he one day want to buy me jewelry...The girls again shared their pictures, though it hits me now, I never did look at Jen's, I was probably too busy subduing children.
One on one, Brandan is a remarkably easy little boy. Curious, helpful, attentive even. Throw Kaillan into the equation and they seem to feed off each other, becoming very loud all of a sudden. She's very headstrong and very hard to negotiate with. Try and she shrieks like a maniac. She had several episodes that come to mind, where she completely unravelled and totally lost her temper. Though theoretically, her routine was shot and yes, she was in the midst of a bad cold, the reality was these girls had just met Kaillan The Conqueror. May she grow up one day and accomplish big things in this world.
Eventually we had coats and shoes on and the plan was to do some sightseeing, though weather in Montreal wasn't particularly touristy. It happened to be raining buckets that day, so we opted to let them see the city from the comforts of the car. I say that loosely because it took some serious negotiation to fit us all in. I wish someone had taken a picture of the spot Remo actually expected me to fit a beehind THIS BIG into. We did a reasonable tour of a bit of the city and made it home a half hour before some of my girlfriends got there. We were about to head over to one of our favorite Italian restaurants. More food.
We were a group of eight and it seemed to me, conversations flowed fast. I know I laughed a lot, I remember there was something that set me off so hard, I cried, but I can't for the life of me remember what. Two hours flew by and we headed back to my house. We chatted some more, a couple of my real life friends were curious about the iparenting sites and relationships, we delved into details, chatted some more and they started dwindling off. I think I stayed up late but since I don't remember everything we talked about, I might have fallen asleep on them.
Sunday morning Remo managed to keep the kids quiet downstairs til a decent time, but no way was I getting up till I heard Jen up. I think it was still pretty early mind you. Jen works for a great magazine and how lucky were we that she brought a big stack of them over. Almost made me hope for bedrest! We started fixing breakfast till the sleeping beauties meandered down. POOF a couple hours went by and Jen was leaving. But she just got there!
We tossed around some ideas for what we could do that afternoon, crappy weather meant our choices were limited. We opted to go to the Montreal Biodome because as far as museums go, it would probably make the most sense given that two members of our party were so little. Hiking through the various nature regions, I wasn't overly impressed with the place, but the kids more than made up for my enthusiasm. Kaillan squealed in delight over the fishies, Brandan burned off some much needed energy, and I decided I need more lights and jazz to stay piqued.
Back home with the two kids miraculously comatose, we put on Maid in Manhattan, a perfect movie for a rainy day. We ate, talked more and because forcing my eyes not to cross was painful, I conked out. I woke up early Monday morning and managed to squeeze in a bunch of stuff around the house before they woke up. I will never get used to how much laundry I do. Ever. My aunt came over and the girls put on one of Alicia's pilates videos and though I very badly wanted to go and see what pilates is all about, I didn't. Who in the middle of exercising wants a non-excersiser staring? Though from what I heard from the next room and from the lack of bouncing all over the place, I'll be taking up pilates after this baby when I'm busy getting back in shape. Mark my words.
Because of all Jeanette's IKEA talk, the plan was to squeeze a visit in, so we headed over with Dee Dee and Brandan, though I don't think the girls were overly impressed with the place. We ate lunch there (it's my second time and I was still incredibly impressed with how we could eat for five dollars), bought some doodads and went to Brandan's skating lesson. Because I'm working and this session was on Mondays, deep down, I really wanted to go. I'd considered skipping skating but was grateful when they said for sure they would go because it ended up being Brandan's last class. I was so proud of how fast he can boot around the place. Who knows, maybe they saw a hockey player in the making.
That night my aunt and grandmother stayed for supper and we opted for hamburgers on the barbeque because it would most go with the Cincinnati chili dogs Alicia was about to introduce us to. They were great but all that food on the table, the chaos in the room with all the people and action made for a very loud last dinner in Montreal. And there's no question things got very informal. When I brought out the corn on the cob, not only did I put out my best margarine tub with the most toast crumbs in it, but I actually gave them paper towels to mop up the stuff on their plates so they could put their corn on it. Wouldn't want to give a guest a clean plate or anything.
Dinner wasn't even over and the girls started knitting. Now I have to be very honest here, at first I didn't get why anyone would come all the way to Montreal and spend all that time knitting. Myself personally? I'd have been shopping, sight seeing, shopping some more. Then they let their secret slip. Amy had come here to teach Jen and Alicia how to knit so all of them could make squares and eventually Amy would put everybody's squares together in a blanket for our baby. For me. They were doing all that for us. I was incredibly touched and honoured. Remo was also because when I suggested he learn too so he could make a square, he gave it two hours of his time. When he realized he would never get farther than the second row if Amy went home, he threw in the needles. That night we stayed up talking half the night, or at least they did. I was getting so good at flaking out.
All of a sudden it was Tuesday morning and we had just hours left. I decided to send Kaillan to Andree and keep Brandan with us. I explained to him the girls were going home and didn't expect him to be so sad. He said he just loved Amy's squares and Alicia's shoes (she had them on all the time, and by the way Alicia, now he does too) and how come they couldn't stay for always? While they packed, he jumped between them gabbing up a storm, probably had them longing for piece and quiet.
Those last few hours were busy. We knocked back a fast lunch, stopped at the bank and I drove with one contact lense to the store to buy the other one. Both girls wanted to bring Montreal bagels back but Alicia's flight was first and she was getting nervous about getting there early. Had it been my flight, I'd have squeezed in fifteen more stops. We dropped off Alicia, went to get Amy's bagels, where I still swear she didn't buy enough, went back to my house to kill an hour and then headed back to the airport. The afternoon flew by.
Both girls were gone. I went to pick up Kaillan, and when I went to put gas in the van (the "I'm on empty" light had been flashing wildly for hours), it hit me. I was completely, totally wiped out. My fallen arched feet were aching even. Remo wouldn't be home for hours so I went back to the quiet house with the kids. Gave them supper, got them ready for bed and we built a city with the blocks. When the kids were out, I thought about the girls who had just stepped into our lives.
Amy. Before she came and based on her posts, I thought this was a girl who had to be intense. She seemed to know about everything, she could pop up with statistics and links at the drop of a hat and at one point, I even thought hmmmm, why would a newlywed with no immediate plans to settle into motherhood be interested in the iparenting websites? Then I met her. My first impression of Amy was that she was young, not young immature, but young sweet, gentle. She's serious and smart and she's mastered the art of listening. Amy is loyal and thoughtful, and we've nominated her the official nose wiper. The kids were very into Amy, I'm not sure if that was mostly because they were fascinated with knitting or her name was easier to say.
Alicia. Before she came and based on her posts, I thought she was very friendly, with her daughter off at school all day, I figured she was bored living in a small town, with a gregarious personality and no people to share it with. I was impressed by how friendly she was in real life. Bubbly. You could toss Alicia in with a group of whoever and she would make them feel at ease. Opinionated, strong, and clever, Alicia is also very loyal. I know she's not from the south, but she had southern charm. She was hospitable, generous and very helpful.
Not to spark a cultural debate but I found something a couple of my non-Canadian friends said interesting. They mentioned how much they liked both girls, and both commented a bit on how friendly the Americans were, whereas the stereotypical Canadian we know is so much more reserved. Not to say stiff, because it's probably not the right word, or even a fair lumping, but their insight gave me pause for thought.
Jen H.? Before she came and based on her posts, I didn't have a whole lot to work with, though I was grateful given that Jeanette knew her and could vouch for her real live person status. I liked her, and while I found her to be so calm, very down to earth, I swear this girl has the potential to make me laugh. I'm sure deep down is my favourite sense of dry humour. I found Jen to be very easy going, balanced, sharp.
If I had to pick a word to describe the weekend, I would say real. Things got upside down in the house and nobody cared. The kids had some wild moments and so what? They're kids! We didn't have to impress anybody or go to fancy places, hanging out, catching up and getting to know each other was fun. Easy. Real.
Next time we'll just pick a place more people can get to. And leave any kidlets behind.
Allisun
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