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Adjusting nicely (and breastfeeding rant)

September 24, 2006

A busy but nice few weeks filled with more adjustments and readjustments as both my girls continue to grow and start and stop various phases in their lives.  Considering all that we have going on right now I am actually very surprised and relieved that we have been able to navigate so many strange terrains with minimal angst.

Such a cliché but my newborn is growing up so fast!  She has lost her chicken legs and head wobble and is much better at focusing on our faces and less stingy with her smiles.  Her face has also cleared up from a myriad of issues including infant acne, mystery rash, cradle cap (on the eyebrows—ewww!) and those white bumps on the nose.  If possible, she is looking even cuter then ever.   Achingly cute, actually.  The kind of cute that makes you want to just gaze and gaze, especially if she throws in some soft coos or starts playing games with her face and glancing coyly in our direction.  Sigh.

In addition to looking cute, Lorelei has delighted and surprised us all by starting to sporadically sleep through the night.  We usually get her down around 9- 10 ish and she hasn't been waking more then once for weeks but a few times hasn't woken until 6 or 6:30 which is definitely sleeping through if you ask me, esp. since Ella is up at 6 most days herself.  We still have Lore sleeping in the car seat, though, so until we have made the fateful transfer to the crib I don't consider ourselves completely out of the woods.  But it's been nice, let me say, very very nice!

Another thing that has been very very nice is that we have started giving Lore one bottle/day.  I was worried (me!?!?! Shocking) that she wouldn't like either the bottle or the formula but she took right to it and doesn't have problem taking it from me, Jamie or a stranger.  It is such a relief to know that I am not her sole source of nutrition and if I want or need to go out for an extended period (ie, more then two hours) without my tiniest sidekick, this is now an option. 

Now, time for a little rant.  As I've mentioned, breastfeeding has largely been going pretty well with Lorelei, definitely much better and easier then it was with Ella.  I'm happy and proud that I can give my girl what is largely and loudly proclaimed to be 'best' for her.  Nevertheless, however, as I see what even 'easy' breastfeeding entails, I am more and more annoyed and disillusioned with the way breastfeeding is marketed to expectant moms.  To hear and read about breastfeeding, one can pretty easily be led to the conclusion that this is a seamless, easy process.  As this is what is 'natural', both bodies will just 'know' what to do.  Indeed, we are told, not only will the mom's body start making this milk in the perfect quantity for the baby, this milk will be perfectly adapted to maximize all things good for baby. 

Dig a little deeper below the surface, however, or actually attempt to embark on this process, and one encounters a very different reality.   Not so much  with Lore, but the first time I tried to breastfeed, with El, I was completely caught off guard by how difficult it was to get the baby to latch on and how much, even with a supposedly good latch, it HURT LIKE H*LL.  Although with Lore the pain didn't last long and wasn't too bad, with Ella is was awful—searing and piercing—and lasted for over a month. 

Secondly, no, my body does not seem to naturally make exactly enough milk for baby.  Again, it was harder and worse the first time, but now we are dealing with supply issues again which leave both mother and baby frustrated and cranky, not to mention leaving baby very hungry.

Finally, the whole business about milk being 'perfect' for baby is also crap.  I have heard of many women being told by their doctors that they should start giving their babies

Vitamin supplements to make up for nutrients they won't get through breast milk.   In addition, while I haven't had to deal with this, all the time women are altering their diet in response to babies who are reacting poorly to something in their milk.

It seems to me as though there are a lot of breastfeeding advocates out there who just don't want women to know the truth about how hard breastfeeding can be.  I guess they are afraid it will dissuade more moms from even trying and perhaps they are right.  But to nearly lie to women as they are making these decisions is morally offensive and that's how I feel I've been treated.  And that really pisses me off.  It makes me feel like I cannot trust a medical professional or childrearing book when their advice is so biased as to be nearly deceitful.  Grrrrr...

Well, that's enough of all that, I suppose.  Hope all is well in internet land...

Bonnie