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The fast and the furious (Lorelei's birth story)

August 3, 2006

Birth story:

A little background leading up to my birth story.  First of all, although this was my second 'birth' I hadn't really gone into labor with Ella (I had to be induced after my water was broken when the Dr. swept my membranes.  Ella was three days 'late'.).  Due to the induction with Ella, I never knew how things would have gone with her labor and delivery if I had waited until my body started labor on its own, nor could I use her experience to anticipate what to look for or how things would go with my second delivery.  (My birth story with Ella can be found here http://www.toddlerstoday.com/diaries/736/index.php at the old introduction to my Toddlers Today diary)

Second piece of background was that Ella was on vacation the week before I was due, and I was really REALLY hoping to have the baby while she was away.  Although it would have been nice to have Ella around right after her sister was born, I felt it would be even nicer for her to be able to enjoy a cruise in the Caribbean with my family.  Not to mention that it would be a huge benefit to Jamie and I to not have to arrange child care for Ella and to be able to really focus on our newborn without neglecting our firstborn at all. 

So.  Ella left on the cruise on Sunday 7/23, leaving me 39+ weeks pregnant in a hot house, feeling huge and sad because I missed her and wished I could be on vacation cruising with my family instead.  But I did have my mission, to have this baby, so that gave me focus.  I was able to e-mail with my Aunt on the ship and she sent me pictures of Ella and short stories of her trip.  I, in turn, updated her on my attempts, without success, of self inducing this pregnancy.  I already had been having VERY frequent Braxton Hicks contractions, basically all day every twenty minutes or so, for a few weeks.   They didn't hurt but were distracting and a little annoying.  I was hoping they would help ripen my cervix though and if this was the case I was fine with that!  Sunday we went for Indian food and I ordered it extra spicy, but nothing.  Monday I ate leftover Indian all day but still nothing.  Tuesday it was time to kick it up a notch.  I had my OB/GYN appt and asked her to strip the membranes (remember how well it worked with Ella, mind you).  She agreed (reluctantly, since my 'official' due date wasn't for three more days) but didn't seem to expect much, although she did say I had dilated about one centimeter. Progress, I guess, but not much... 

I was disappointed not be going straight to the hospital but still had a few tricks up my sleeve.  Tuesday night Jamie and I walked about a mile each way to a movie theatre in order to see "The DaVinci Code" (only mediocre).  The walk was tough but only because I felt so big. There was no sudden change in contractions, just more Braxton Hicks.  Disappointed, I went to bed.  My plan for the next day was to kick things up one more notch and to try castor oil, but I wasn't looking forward to it.  Although effective, I had heard it can be quite uncomfortable, and I wasn't looking forward to rushing to the toilet all day.

Wednesday I woke up around 2AM, but didn't think anything of it since I had been waking up every night to pee as it was.  Then I noticed a little twitch in my lower abdomen, which I would have ignored if it hadn't reoccurred a little later, then again.  I didn't think they were real contractions, because they were so mild, but thought it was interesting and that they were different from what had been going on previously. 

Unable to sleep, I began timing them and was surprised to see they were only 5-8 minutes apart.  I have also read that walking or drinking water will slow false labor so hauled myself out of bed and headed downstairs. I dutifully drank a big cup of water and did a few slow laps downstairs.  The twitches not only continued but began to come every 3-5 minutes.  Still, I really didn't think this was labor but I began to remember the experience my neighbor had just had, when she went into labor with her second baby, waited too long, and had the baby within minutes of showing up at the hospital.   She didn't recommend it.  I also knew that, if they were 'real' contractions, 3-5 minutes was very fast for them to be coming, especially since I had only felt them at all for about 90 minutes.  I woke up Jamie and told him I thought it was time to get ready to think hospital and then called my OB/GYN. The on-call Dr. agreed it was probably a good idea for me to come in but in listening to how relaxed my voice was didn't think we needed to rush.  Jamie barely believed I was serious since I was in no distress.  He thought I had willed the contractions since I wanted to have the baby so much.  In any case, better safe then sorry so we were out the door.

On the way to the hospital I was still timing contractions and they were now 2-4 minutes apart and easier to feel, especially sitting up buckled in the car.  At the hospital we parked in the wrong lot and had to walk all the way around the hospital in order to enter through the ER. Now I could feel the contractions much more and needed to stop to breathe every two minutes.  I felt the ER registrar took too long since I was preregistered and then, when heading for the elevator, I felt a gush and knew my water had broken.  Uk!  Quick pad insertion and we were heading for the elevator. By now I knew this was the real thing...

We showed up at L&D and the nurses were ready for us.  We were shown to the room and another contraction hit.  I waited it out then quickly told the nurse "First thing, I WILL be wanting an epidural".  She nodded but was more concerned with getting me changed and examined by the Dr.  What I wanted the nurse to do was to call the anesthesiologist so she could start coming over and I wouldn't have to wait as long but I guess this wasn't the protocol.  By now I was feeling a lot of pain very often and was getting frustrated and scared and wanted to know that relief was on the way.  But they had their jobs to do and would not be swayed.  It began to be very hard for me to sit still on the bed and be a 'good' patient while they arranged their monitoring strips.  When the pain hit I could not be still so another nurse had to come in to help hold me while they started an IV.  I was supposed to get a dose of Penicillin IV since I was Group B beta strep positive.  All I cared about was the epidural, which I told them a number of times.

Alas,  it was not to be (the penicillin or the epidural, as it turns out).  Soon the Dr. showed up and examined me.   She said the reason I felt so much pressure and pain was because it was time to have a baby and I should start pushing.  This was NOT what I wanted to hear.  I literally think I probably became a little crazy at that point.  I understood perfectly that her words meant that there would be no pain relief so I might as well stop asking for it.  I also knew that I was in horrible agony and that pushing can often take hours.  I was miserable, desperate.  "This isn't how I wanted it!" I cried.  When a contraction would hit I could only scream and thrash.  I know I grabbed the nurses arms harder then is in their job description and later I found scratches on my body that I have no recollection of giving myself (but I know I must have).  Between contractions I was so scared that the birth team had to tell me over and over to slow my breathing or I would hyperventilate.  It was SO HARD to listen to them and cooperate when I felt like my whole body was being wracked by a battering ram over and over.  Fortunately, I don't remember all the specifics of this time but I know that I yelled a lot, swore, and didn't do a lot of pushing.  I tried but after literally seconds of pushing the fear and the pain would take over again and I just couldn't 'cooperate'. 

I don't know how long this went on for but it actually probably wasn't all that long.  Eventually they gave me a dose of Nubain IV.  As I understand it, the nubain doesn't decrease pain but it does help with the anxiety and it allowed me to control my breathing and listen and work with the birth team better.  Unfortunately since this is a systemic drug it also enters the baby's blood stream so they had to call a pediatrician down to examine the baby right after birth.

Shortly after this the OB also told me that the baby's heart rate was dropping too much during contractions and that she needed to come out soon.  Right now the baby was too high up to use suction so she impressed on me how much I needed to focus and push more effectively.  I was still scared and in pain but was able to listen and understand that none of this would be over until we had the baby out and the sooner the better for all involved.  I tucked my chin and began to push for all I was worth.  I had my eyes closed so didn't see anything, nor did I stop between contractions because I felt so big and full down there and I just wanted it all to be over with.  I could feel the progress though, and could hear everyone telling me how effective my pushing was.   To try to quicken things (due, again, to the dropping heart rate) the OB put her fingers in my vagina, I think to try to stretch me open, which was even more uncomfortable.  More screaming.  Nevertheless, I continued to push and could feel myself growing bigger and bigger and wider and wider 'downstairs'.  I was still screaming but pushing as I did so and could feel the huge head passing through and hear cheering.  Still I pushed on and was rewarded with the most surreal feeling in the world, that of a human being slithering out of your own body.  What an amazing relief!  I did it, I was done, I heard crying.  I opened my eyes and smiled. 

Lorelei Sloan came into the world at 5:14 AM.  I had shown up at L&D around 4:45 AM.  She was examined and declared healthy, weighing in at 7 lbs, 6.4 oz and measuring 19 ½ inches long.  Apgars 9 and 9.  She was wrapped up and given to me and I got to hold my darling daughter for the first time.  The most wonderful thing in the world. 

After the birth I was able to deliver the placenta no problem.  I also had a second degree tear which needed about 12 stitches.  I was numb so this was also fairly simple but I still continued to have a lot of fairly heavy bleeding.  They weren't sure why since the placenta looked good and my uterus seemed firm but ended up giving me three bags of fluid (1000 ccs each) with pitocin in it and a shot of (Can't remember).  I stayed an extra few hours in L&D before being transferred to post partum.  I wasn't in any real pain though, and at this point was only focused on my daughter. 

Once I could think again (pretty much as soon as Lorelei was born) I couldn't stop saying "I can't believe I did that" referring primarily to giving birth so quickly and without pain medicine but also to the way I had behaved.  I never thought I would be in such a situation acting the way I did but truthfully, I think that while the delivery was going on I had pretty much slipped back to a primal self or something.  It sure didn't seem like me in that bed, but I guess it was a part of me.

So, having given birth both with and without epidural I can emphatically say that, FOR ME, epidural is much preferred.  I probably won't have any more kids but if I do I will just have to know to get to the hospital PRONTO at the first sign of anything.  I do wonder how different things would have been if I had planned in advance to take on such a level of pain and spent more time researching and practicing pain management techniques.  I'm sure it would have helped but I'll never know if it would have made enough of a difference that I would have been able to look back at the experience with more pride then horror.

Anyway, from here I was transferred to post partum where I spent a wonderful two days relaxing and recovering and getting to know my adorable little newborn.  Lorelei very rarely left my arm and hopefully we are started on a healthy nursing routine.  As I stated, she is just divine.  So cute, so smart, so soft and fuzzy and cuddly.  I truly cannot believe what a blessed person I am right now.  To have this little girl to snuggle and love and care for.  To have her healthy and my big girl so wonderful and a loving family to back us up.  We are so lucky.