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Pondering a second child...
July 22, 2006
First off, I am not pregnant, nor planning to be anytime this year.
With my weight loss surgery there's a waiting period of about 12-18 months before you can get pregnant due to nutrional deficits. Many women get pregnant accidently before this time frame is up. My honest feeling is if I do get pregnant, It's ok I can deal, if I don't then the plans will move forward just fine.
My thing is, Princess is starting kindergarten next month.
DH is starting 2nd grade next month, he should have a teaching job in Jan or atleast a permenant sub assignment. We will have two incomes again. The past two years have been financially difficult because he's been in grad school trying to make a career change after he lost his corporate job. Were in the home stretch now. I have some unresolved guilt that we should have had another child by now. I personally feel that 1 is fine. However, I've also come to realize from Dh whose an only that it's crucial to have a sibling. I have 6 siblings and they will always be there right? Ofcourse. I'm in my 30's and they are heading into their 50's. WE have nothing in commom and hardly speak. Our family is a broken family. Since my mom died in 2003, there is no glue holding us together. My one brother is so critical of me and my husband that I cannot tolerate him. The others are living their lives and I'm living mine.
So having another baby in a year or two will be alot of work.
Princess will hopefully be in public school by then and we can afford more then we can now. I know babies are expensive.
I beleive that all babies should be wanted and not accidents, so from my view any Taurus babies are planned and wanted.
My husband was speaking with someone who has no family here in NC either and they were saying how important it is for the children they have to have siblings. He impressed upon my husband more of that opinion. I can see it. Everyone says only your sibilngs know you for your whole life, etc.
So, next year around this time we will be ready to concienve, barring no problems. I don't think I'd consider any infertility treatments because I just don't beleive in it. If it doens't happen for me on it's own, it's ok. I just don't want to be 40 having my second child. Age is importnat. My mom was 40 when she had me and it wasn't a pleasant childhood. She was often too stressed out to take care of me, or herself. She wound up becomming sick and I was her care taker for about 7 years before I moved to Nc. I'm amazed that i took care of her, attended college full time and worked part time while doing this.
I don't regret doing any of this in any order. Moving to NC was my sanity saver.
Princess is all checked out to go to kindergarten. I just need to collect the tuition money and send her forms in. Our money is very tight right now, so we've delayed paying her tuition but the time will come next week. I'm kinda sad that she's so big, but I kinda feel lost, I don't really have much experience with school aged kids. I love toddlers and the are so immursed in our world, now I have to share her with the world.
I am also going to school now. I'm studying in an online program to get my masters degree. So far it's going smoothly.
I finish my class in september and then take a second course after the first ends. I will probably go year round for the next 2 years. I hate to not finish something I've started, that's why I'm unsettled about other education i've sought and didn't get to finish. Ideally I'd like to become a teacher, I'll just have ot figure out a different path to take, that's all.
I hope everyone stays cool. It's so hot here in NC. I cannot wait for September. Summer in NC is equivilant to winters in NY.
You just want to hibernate.
JT
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