Jennifer's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 5/29/07 -------------------- 5/1/07 4/21/07 3/23/07 3/7/07 2/5/07 1/21/07 1/7/07 12/3/06 11/26/06 11/12/06 10/9/06 10/5/06 9/30/06 9/19/06 9/10/06 8/27/06 8/14/06 7/22/06 7/16/06 7/9/06 7/9/06, Entry 2 7/3/06 6/17/06 6/14/06 6/11/06 6/8/06 6/7/06 -------------------- Jennifer's Introduction

Daily Struggles....

March 7, 2007

Can you beleive it's march already? I have had such a horrible first few months of the new year 2007. It started the day after christmas when I had my bowel obstruction. I struggled to get it on track afterwards. Actually I'm still struggling. I had a second obstruction in Jan also. I have been back to work for a month and I"m struggling. I have about 2 good days a week. I suffer with chronic pain in my back and neck/shoulder. Now I'm adding endometriosis to that list of chronic pain. I tried a lupron shot which is supposed to be some miracle drug for endometroisis and it has me in more pain then I can imagine. I've been back to the ob twice since getting this shot and he gave me two seperate rx's for pain, but only for 2 days. This barely gave me any releif. I called for a third dosage of pain medicine and was told no. Flat out no. He refered me to a pain center but it's not for 3 weeks. So, what I heard was no and emotionally felt like he doesn't care. He gave me this horrible lupron and kicked me out on my own. I take these things very personally. I am thinking of firing him. I really LOVED him until the last few visits. Last year I had a failed IUD and he was upset because I refused to stick it out bleeding everyday and in major pain. I might just be me but having a period is a curse and every day less I'm bleeding is better to me. At this point, I would almost consider a hystorectomy for my pain. Right now, I'm unsure of my child bearing abilities and I don't really care. How can I feel so bad all the time and bare the though of having another kid. I'm pretty sure I don't want to have anymore kids. Let's just say. One is fun. I get asked alot of times if I want more children. Honestly, the one I have is a handful. I work full time outside of the home, pay for insurance, two cars, insurance, everything, I cannot stand it. I pay for private school for my princess. This is majorly due to the fact our neighborhood school is the third worse failing school and there's no recourse to get our daughter into a better rated school. The dirty secret of the south where we are is the schools. You can buy a 400K home, but get a 4th rated failing school. It's such a disguise. I beleive these schools have always been this way. The school provides money, but the economics never seem to change. So, this leaves me to choose and pay for private school for my princess. She's been with this school since she was 3. The school ranges from 2 years to 8th grade. This fall my husband will be moving into the class room (hopefully), He took his state teacher certification test this past weekend and it's nerve wracking waiting for the test results. I don't know why they couldn't be CBT based tests. For me, my desire is to return to school. I need to take my praxis tests to be eligiable to return to the licensure program. I had the test scheduled for Jan 17th and was out of work because of my bowel obstruction so I missed my test. I haven't resolved the matter yet, I want to see if I can get an exception and get my $$ back. I think it's going to be money lost with no recourse. I'm totally too exhausted to bother seeking it out right now. I will write a letter requesting an exception but I doubt they are going to do anything. They are pretty hard nosed. I have several loose ends. I paid my enrollment to attend an online college. Currently, I'm working on my MBA right now and I hate it. Every minute of it. I'm so glad I don't attend lecture. I am completing my last course and I won't be returning for the spring session. I haven't decided if I want to return there in the summer or not. I have several options. I really wanted to become a teacher, but I see that road fizziling. I do feel lost in the rut of life. Healing from two surgeries in two weeks is horrible. I cannot beleive how much my life is changing and how unhappy I am right now. I don't think I have depression, although I was treated for it. However, I do feel exhausted. I hope to feel rested soon.... Good Night.... JT

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