Heather's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 1/14/08 -------------------- 4/20/07 4/13/07 4/6/07 3/30/07 3/12/07 12/5/06 10/10/06 8/25/06 7/24/06, Entry 3 7/24/06, Entry 2 7/24/06, Entry 1 7/5/06 6/6/06, Entry 2 6/6/06, Entry 1 -------------------- Heather's Introduction

The August Update!

August 25, 2006

August 23, 2006

Aidan is 2 ½ (or 32 months)

 

Wow, has it been a month since I've posted an entry???  How times flies when you're a working mom!

 

BIRD WATCH

The time of runaway imagination is upon us....

 

From Aidan's bedroom window, we can see our neighbor's garage.  Our neighbor has a big black iron eagle hanging on his garage, its wings outstretched. 

 

Aidan is completely weirded out by the black bird for some reason!  One day while I was getting him dressed, he stood on his changing table and pointed out the window, looking nervous.  "Afraid of THAT, Mommy" he said.  I was asking what was scary – was it the Darth Tater (Mr. Potato Head in Darth Vader form – yeah, no kidding) sitting in his windowsill?  The Giraffe toy?  The baby monitor?

 

Finally I got that he was pointing outside and I asked him what was scary outside. 

"Afraid of that black bird, Mommy," he said.  "It fly into Boo Boo's room".  I had to hide a laugh on that one.

 

So over the past few weeks, we've repeatedly said to him that the bird is just a decoration, that it's not real and that it can't do any of the things that real birds can do.  He will still point at it and say, "Afraid of that bird!" when he sees it, but I don't think he's truly scared of it any more.

 

One night last week, he just started repeating back to us what we've told him about the black bird all these weeks.  He quickly ran through every comment in a monotone voice:  "It's not real, it can't fly, it can't chirp, it's a pretend bird, it's not real, it can't fly, it can't chirp, it's not real..."  We were cracking up!

 

SAYING FUNNY THINGS

Some of the cute things he's been saying in the past few weeks:

 

We went to Target a few weeks ago and Steve was pushing the cart really fast, in a zig-zag pattern.  Aidan said, "You're making me nuts Daddy!"

 

Oftentimes at bedtime, Aidan and I will snuggle up on the couch to watch one of the Baby Einstein videos.  I will kiss him on the head and say, "Are you Mommy's baby boy?" and usually he just says, "Yes!" but the other night I kissed him on the head and he said, "I Mommy's baby boy". 

 

He will wait for me to go downstairs now and will say, "Hold my hand please" at the top of the steps.  :)

 

He's really into routine – really, really into it.  If I say something once to him, he wants me to repeat the same thing in the same way every time the situation comes up again.  For example, one day I was going down the basement steps and I had my hands full, so I couldn't hold his hand to go down the steps.  He was bothered by that, so I put down whatever it was that I was carrying and went back up the steps to hold his hand and go down.  "I'm sorry I couldn't hold your hand, sweetie" I said to him.  Now every time we go down the steps he'll say "I sorry Mommy" once we've taken a few steps.  If I miss a cue, he'll say it for me and then say "Mommy say it". 

 

HARMONY (OHMMM)

My father-in-law made this observation one day and I've really found it to be true:  Aidan is always very good unless something's wrong/off.  The times that Aidan acts out there is, without fail, something else going on.  Sometimes it's that he's not feeling well or that he's tired.  Other times, he is grouchy as can be until he has a really big bowel movement and then he's back to being a happy, bouncy little guy.

 

This weekend, we went to Target to get a few things and I let him get out of the cart and play with a little plastic wagon for a few minutes.  When I told him it was time to move on, though, he had a total meltdown.  Steve was like, "Ok, he's just become the kind of kid I hate in stores" (LOL).  It definitely wasn't like him – he's usually really good in stores.  I realized after the fact that I hadn't given him any sort of warning that we were moving on – which I know is important.  It's the equivalent of having someone show up at your desk at work and say, "You're leaving now" and physically making you get up and leave with no explanation.  I try to be conscious of that, but ya know, I'm a scattered working mom with limited brain space available for such things.

 

So I failed to give the 2 minute warning.  Then, on our big 5 minute drive back home, Aidan fell asleep so deeply that we were able to move him inside, take off his shoes and put him to bed without him waking up.  Ah, now it made sense.  The meltdown was because we didn't time the store trip around nap time.  Again, FIL is right!

 

SHEPHERDING THE THREE-YEAR-OLDS

This past Sunday I observed the 3 year old room at church.  I've signed up to be a "Shepherd" (helper) in that room so this was my chance to really see it up close and personal.

 

It was definitely an education.  I was able to see kids a few months older than Aidan being dropped off – some were fine and a couple had complete and total breakdowns.  I realized that kids at that age do still have some separation anxiety issues, which made me feel better about the fact that Aidan still has his times when he doesn't want to be away from me!

 

I signed up to be a Shepherd after a service that we had about......service, ironically enough!  I thought, "I can definitely help out with kids Aidan's age since that's familiar territory!" and signed up to serve in that way.

 

I also had an ulterior motive, which is to be in the room with Aidan once he turns 3 in December.  Aidan's never been in a classroom setting (or any other setting) with 20 other kids and I'm really thrilled to have the chance to transition him into a group of kids in this way.  I'll be with him for a whole year and then I'll transition him to the pre-K classroom without me.  Now, even if we can't afford to send him to preschool, I know that he'll have the opportunity to socialize with other kids his own age for 2 years before going to kindergarten (even though my plan is to send him to preschool if at all financially possible).

 

I'm planning to really "serve" by doing Shepherd duty until Aidan's 3 ^rd birthday in December and then he'll join me.  By then, I should really feel comfortable in what my role is and won't be concerned that I'm slacking on the job because my kid is in there. 

 

ANALYZING STYLE

This past week at work, I went through some interesting training and found out that my behavior style is Analyzing.  I share this with you, dear reader, because I only think it fair to warn you.

 

A few strengths of the Analyzing behavior style are:  planning, conscientious and logical, persistent and steady.  Some challenges are:  indecisive, too detailed, risk-averse/overly cautious.

 

I called my husband on one of our breaks and said, "Does this really describe me?  I don't see myself being that extreme!"  He laughed and said, "Think about your approach to parenting – you read and read and read and read before making a decision.  You base everything on research, data, science.  You are completely like that!!"

 

So when faced when a big decision, the Analyzer gathers a mountain of research and ponders and ponders and ponders.  My apologies in advance.  LOL

 

THE 2 ^nd BABY DECISION

Speaking of research and the inability to make a decision.........

 

In my ponderings about having another baby, I have discovered something quite interesting – did you know that there's a very definite war going on out there between parents on this issue?

 

I know people who have as many 3 kids and I know people have 1 kid.  In my never-ending research on what will be best for our family, I've discovered that both camps, if you will, have ultra-strong feelings on the matter.

 

You may have discovered this on your own if you have only 1 child or if you have more than 2.  Two seems to be the safest number with the least amount of scrutiny, but if you're on either end of the spectrum, boy do you have some strong opinions to field!

 

Those of you out there with only children are classified as selfish for not "giving your child a brother or sister to play with".  There is the assumption that you are too concerned with money and with the cost of having children, to the point of sacrificing your child's happiness over the almighty dollar.  Only children are assumed to be spoiled, lonely, and social misfits.

 

 

Those of you out there with 3+ children are classified as irresponsible, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants types who will keep popping out kids without contemplating how you will provide for them.  You are overpopulating the earth, did you know!

 

I find it all very interesting, as I soak up the opinions and the data on each side.  Why is it that we all, as parents, are so defensive?  And why do we attack the choices of others so quickly without giving them the benefit of the doubt?

 

Since right now, we have an only child, I started doing some surfing on only children and found some interesting factoids.  My first stop was on some message boards of parents of only children.  They had some interesting things to say on the matter.  One poster said, "There is the assumption out there that if you have another child you are giving your child a built-in playmate.  I can say from experience that I was the LAST person my older brother would play with."  Another poster said that her younger brother was ultra-high maintenance from the second he arrived in the world and that her parents had their hands so full with him that they had no time to devote to her at all.  "Having 2 children does NOT mean that they will get along or be friends – some siblings HATE each other into adulthood!" one poster exclaimed.

 

I found the above statements very thought-provoking since I've always thought of having two children who would get along and be great friends.  The reality is that I am not guaranteed to have that outcome. 

 

I found some interesting stats too.  Did you know that only children tend to be more outgoing than children with siblings?  My husband, an only child himself, said, "That's because they HAVE to be – either you learn to make friends or you go it alone!"  I also read that only children tend to do better in school and that they tend to be overachievers.  It doesn't mean that EVERY only child is going to be a genius, granted..........but that is encouraging!  I also read, and I've found this to be true, that only children have more confidence than children with siblings.  I've always admired that trait in my husband – he really isn't the least bit concerned with how he's perceived and I wish I was more like that!!

 

The renowned expert on only children is my husband.  I've asked him on a few occasions how he REALLY felt about being an only child – wasn't he lonely?  Didn't he miss having a brother or sister?  He always tells me the same thing – that he wouldn't have it any other way.  He said that when he was younger, he wanted a brother or sister, but once he started school he realized very quickly that his classmates didn't like having siblings.  "I would hear all these stories about how their little siblings were breaking their toys or getting them into trouble and I finally went home one day and told my parents that I did NOT want a brother or sister!"  Ha!  That sounds like an only child doesn't it?  LOL

 

Steve tells me that because he was an only child, his friends became his extended family.  "I got to choose my brothers and sisters," he told me.  Interestingly, a good majority of his closest friends are only children themselves.

 

Steve does mention that there were periods of time when he was lonely, but as he put it, "Weren't there times when you were lonely even though you had a sister?" 

 

Knowing my husband, and some of his friends who are only children, has really been enlightening.  I had my preconceived notions about only children and I always, always thought it was a negative thing to be an only child.  Now I know that it doesn't HAVE to be and that means that I have options I didn't consider before.  I don't HAVE to have more than one child. 

 

On the flip side, I have a younger sister (5 years younger) and I was happy to have a sibling.  We played together a lot, we went to the pool together every day in the summer, etc.  I was the kind of kid who wanted a sibling.  I created imaginary friends because there were no kids around where I lived and I was SO lonely.  I can't imagine NOT having a sibling and even when she was twerpy and in her 'I'm going to tattle on everything you do' stage, I never wished that I didn't have her around.

 

I'm not sure if Aidan will be an only child or not – but if he does end up being an only child, it won't be because I didn't want to have another child.  I would love to have another one, but I'm also extremely cautious when it comes to having children.  Throughout my 20s, I was adamant about the timing of having children.  I was very spontaneous, very into taking a risk..........on everything except having a child.  It's the only thing I've ever been completely, 100% serious about and I just can't take it lightly.  Maybe I overthink it, but I don't want to bring a child into the world unless I can provide everything it needs – the maturity to make good decisions, the means to provide everything it will need and to have my life in order.  I know now that I can make the good decisions and handle the childrearing, but our lives aren't exactly in order right now.  The time is definitely not now – and if while waiting for things to stabilize a bit I miss my window of opportunity to have a 2 ^nd child – I can accept that much easier than diving headfirst into a situation that tears our family apart.

 

My greatest concern at the moment is for the kid that I already have.  Aidan, and what's best for him, is the most important consideration and that question has yet to be answered.

 

One of the more disturbing arguments I've heard for having more than one child is "What if something happened to Aidan?"  The only thing I can really say to that is nothing, absolutely nothing would ease that pain.  That's as far as I can let my mind go on that subject because even the thought of that is too painful to consider.  Aidan is one of a kind and there is no replacement for him. 

 

As one of the women on the Only Children message board said, "Women have that nurturing instinct so deeply in us – we will always have the desire to hold another baby.  I could have 10 children and still feel that 'tug' when I see a new baby but it doesn't mean I should have any more!"

 

Some famous only children:  Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant, Tipper Gore.

 

I still have some time and I'll continue to ponder, as is the way of the Analyzer, until the answer is clear.  For now, I pray about it and I give thanks for having a healthy, happy little boy who is so full of love.  J

 

Talk to Me – if you have more than 1 child, what are the biggest benefits?  I have to be honest here – when I do searches online for "benefits of having a sibling" all I'm finding are articles and books on sibling rivalty, how to referee fights between the two kids, how to help your older child adjust to a new baby – what gives here?  There MUST be some positives to having more than 1 child, right? 

 

 

BABY EINSTEIN

I have to say up front that the Baby Einstein products are the best!!!!!

 

A few weeks back, we bought Aidan some "Alphabooks" from Baby Einstein.  There are 26 little books in a little box – one for each letter of the alphabet – and each letter has its own little book that has a few words and correlating pictures for words that start with that letter.  Aidan has been playing with them since I bought them – he would bring each book to me and I'd say what letter it is.  Over the weekend, he would bring the books to me and I'd ask him to tell me which letter was on the cover.  He was right about half the time and I'd correct him when he was wrong.  Then we read through all of the little books (I think they're all 3 pages) and repeated the process all over again. 

 

This morning, he was able to tell Mamaw and Papaw what all of the letters were and they were very impressed because they hadn't known that we were working on letters, so that was all news to them!  Over the past few days I've been asking him to tell me which one is the big letter and which is the little one too.  If I forget to ask him to point out the big letter, he'll say. "Where's the BIG A?" and then say "Mommy say it".  LOL

 

He's starting to recognize letters in other places too – last night he pointed out the FAMILY letters I have hanging in our family room. 

 

Now Aidan can count to 20, he knows all of his colors and now he's well on his way to knowing all of his letters too.  I feel really good about where he is in his learning and feel confident that he'll do just fine in preschool and/or kindergarten.  :D

 

ALL ABOARD FOR THOMAS

Aidan is really into Thomas the Tank Engine lately.  We bought him a DVD that came with a Thomas train and he likes to roll it around.  He'll push his little train around and say, "Chugga chugga, chugga chugga".  It's really cute!

 

He tries to sing one of the little songs on his Thomas DVD too, called "Little Engines".  I think he's seen the DVD too many times, though, since he can tell the story right along with the narrator. 

 

Thomas is coming to our area in September – it's a real train with a Thomas face on it and I am DYING to take him since I know he'll love it!  It's a big pricier than I'd like, though, so I guess we'll see if I can muster up the cash to go. 

 

MY SWEET LITTLE GUY

The other really nice thing that Aidan's learning is using polite words.  Now when he asks for something he says "please" which I LOVE.  He also says "excuse me" if he's trying to get past me with one of his trucks or if he burps.  Ha!  I can't claim 100% responsibility for that – while I have followed up my requests with "please" at home, I know that the majority of that is coming straight from his grandparents!

 

Yesterday Steve was in the neighborhood, running some errands, and so he and Aidan stopped by to see me at work.  I let my coworkers know that Aidan was coming and they were all anxious to see him.  J

 

He was very good – said hi and grinned at everybody that he met, although he did let me know a few times that he wanted to go to the park (apparently Daddy had been telling him he was going to the park after our visit and he was a bit disappointed that it wasn't their first stop).  He met my boss, who was showing him the big fish swimming around in the fountain out front and he was being so cute.  He'd say, "The fish are just swimming allll around" and then he yelled out "Come back, please, fishies!"  My boss told him he could come back any time. 

 

When he said goodbye to everyone, he followed it up with "Have a nice day!"  Ha!  It's a good thing I only had an hour and a half left of the workday because I was dying to be home after that!

 

Last night, when we were laying in bed telling stories and talking about how his day was, he said, "Mommy do the Boo Boo Go to Sleep song" and started humming Brahms' "Lullabye" song.  I've been humming that song to him to get him to sleep since he was a newborn, so of course I about busted out crying!  I sing it to him now but instead of using the real lyrics (too many thys and thous) I've made up a much simpler version.  The fact that he was humming it back to me was SO sweet and completely surprising!

 

My favorite time of the day is when he climbs up into my bed for story time.  He just loves being in our bed and he'll get under the blankets and pull them up right under his chin.  One night he said, "I happy now, Mommy!" and another night he said, "Nice and cozy!"  ha!

 

His favorite story now is the five little monkeys who jumped on the bed.  We were reading it the other night and midway through the book, he gave me the sweetest little kiss.  Those are the times that just dissolve me into a puddle of mush.  He is just such a sweet little soul. 

 

And with that, I will bid you a good week!!!!!!

H & A

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