Heather's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 1/14/08 -------------------- 4/20/07 4/13/07 4/6/07 3/30/07 3/12/07 12/5/06 10/10/06 8/25/06 7/24/06, Entry 3 7/24/06, Entry 2 7/24/06, Entry 1 7/5/06 6/6/06, Entry 2 6/6/06, Entry 1 -------------------- Heather's Introduction

Summertime Fun & What Aidan's Saying Now

July 5, 2006

I just realized today that I haven't posted an entry in weeks and thought I'd better get on it!  Where is the time going this summer?  I can hardly believe July is already here.......

 

HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME

I'm so in the mood for summer lately – all about making the best of the season!  I've tried to plan a few fun family outings this summer; just inexpensive things that are fun for everybody.  The easiest of those is going to the pool – we've been a few times already this year.  At first Aidan seemed a little afraid of the water, but he was over it and having fun within our first visit this year. 

 

We're also planning to take Aidan to the drive-in (yes, we do have one here!) to see a movie.  We missed seeing "Cars" when it was there a week ago, but maybe we'll get another chance soon.  Steve and I love to go to the drive-in.........it's just such a cooler movie experience in the summer than going to the regular old theater (LOL).  We can take pillows and a throw blanket and camp out in the back of the Jeep! 

 

I'm a huge dork for this kind of thing........there's so much to do in the summer.  This past weekend, Steve and I were walking down the fairway at one of the oldest amusement parks in the city, holding hands as we walked past the illuminated old carrousel, covered in bright white little bulbs.  I said, "THIS is one of those perfect summer moments!" 

 

Tis also the season for fresh fruits & veg, and I'm giddy over the great selection at the local roadside stands and produce places.  Watermelon just doesn't taste the same in February, ya know?  It's the perfect time to eat right – it's too hot to cook complicated meals.  On hot, humid Cincy days I'm more than happy to eat a big cold salad followed by a big slab of ice-cold watermelon (the coldness is key!).

 

Luckily for us, Aidan is also a big fan of fresh fruits & veg.  He absolutely LOVES watermelon (he's a chip off the old block there!) as well as corn on the cob and fresh green beans.  He really has a thing for green beans – he'll ask specifically for them and gets all excited in the grocery store when he sees them in the produce section.  LOL

 

He has become a much pickier eater this year than he used to be, though he still eats really well.  His eating style is quite contradictory at times.........for example – he likes bread and he likes cheese, but he will NOT eat a grilled cheese sandwich.  He still won't eat tomatoes or tomato-based dishes with very few exceptions.  For the most part, though, I feel OK with what he will eat.  His favorite things are cashews, watermelon, fresh green beans, yogurt, grapes, strawberries and cheese.  We try not to give him a lot of junk food, but he does like French fries a LOT and we can count on him to eat chicken fingers if we go out to eat.  His other junk food addiction is gummy bears or gummy worms – he LOVES them!

 

I give him a vitamin every day and he's definitely not underweight, so I'm really not worried about his diet.  I consider us very lucky in this area!

 

While summer is a lot of fun, I also have to take some precautions for Aidan.  I've been putting sunscreen on him religiously when we go outside so that he doesn't get burned and I've also been putting bug repellent on him too (that West Nile virus is nothing to mess with!).  I've also tried to watch how long I keep him outside and that I'm keeping him well hydrated in these ultra-hot months!  I watch how he's behaving to be sure he's not overheated (he has a history of throwing up if he's too hot) to be sure that we head indoors if he's getting red-faced or is completely soaked with sweat.  He loves being outside and would probably spend every second of every day out there, so I hate to keep him inside, but I also want to keep him safe.

 

THE TERRIBLE AND NOT-SO-TERRIBLE TWOS

Since I last wrote, Aidan's really cute way of saying 'no' has morphed into a less cute variety.  As Steve puts it, some days he's just more two than others.  LOL

 

For the most part, I consider us lucky in that Aidan is a moderate two year old.  He is definitely in the 'no' phase – says no to literally everything he's asked – but on the plus side, he's not a tantrum thrower.  I'm not sure if it's his temperament or the fact that we do a lot of distracting – if he's all annoyed with something, we try to direct him to something new, which is really easy at this stage!  Ha! 

 

Our greatest battles are very typical of this age – the hitting, throwing toys and constant yelling that seem to be the trademarks of most two year olds.  Once we do lay down a rule, he constantly tests us.  For example:  a few weeks ago, I introduced the rule of "nice touches" – I showed him how he should touch people and stressed that hitting is NOT allowed.  Amazingly enough, it did stick and he'll approach me and very gently touch my arm but will follow it up by saying "I hit Mommy!"  Every time I say, "No, we don't hit, we just do nice touches like this," and I show him again what I want him to do. 

 

We go through the same trial in the bathroom – he can reach the faucets now and I told him that he can turn on the cold water, but he's never to turn on the hot water.  He'll storm in there and climb up on his step stool to reach the faucets – and every single time he'll say, "I turn on the HOT water, Mommy!"  And we go through the drill each time – "No, Aidan, you NEVER turn on the hot water – just the cold water". 

 

There is no greater time in my life when I've had to exercise this much patience.  If I was the type of personality who didn't want to have to ever repeat myself, I'd have completely snapped by now. 

 

HAPPY 4 ^TH!!

To celebrate the 4 ^th this weekend, we went to a picnic at my Aunt & Uncle's house (where a water balloon fight erupted and I am proud to say that I instigated it!).  We also spent Independence Day Eve at a local amusement park for the "Balloon Glow" which was VERY cool!!  They had a few hot-air balloons lined up in a grassy area after dark and from time to time, all of the balloon operators would shoot fire up into the balloons so that they'd "glow".  I don't think Aidan was as impressed as I was, but he did really well nonetheless.  This was one of those times that I was grateful that he's 2 ½ now......this is not an event that I could've taken him to last year (at 18 months).  This year he can walk on his own and is more than happy to take in the sites. 

 

I decided to use the safety-harness thing that I bought earlier this year – Steve calls it the Boy Leash because that's what it looks like – ha!  It just made me feel better to have him on the Leash and holding my hand in a huge crowd like that.  He didn't particularly like it, but I just couldn't take the chance that he'd run away and we'd lose him in that crowd. 

 

They also had fireworks and Aidan handled them well too, which was good!  I hated fireworks until I was in my teens, so I wouldn't have been a bit surprised if he would've hated them.  He seemed almost bored with them until the grand finale, and then he looked a little pained.  He just kept saying, "Too much, My-moo, too much!!" (my mother-in-law was holding him during the last "too much" part of the fireworks).......so I think it was a little intimidating to him, but he didn't get upset or cry or anything – just kept saying it was "too much".  LOL

 

On the walk back to the car, he must've said it a hundred times:  "Too much fireworks, Mommy!  Too much fireworks, My-moo!"    I wonder what he'll think of them next year?

 

HIGH ANXIETY – INFO AND UPDATES  

In my last entry, I talked about Aidan's fears.  In the time since, my husband and I have noticed that he's using "afraid" to describe a few different things.  If he doesn't like something, he'll say he's afraid of it.  If he's unsure of something or it's new, he'll say he's afraid. 

 

This is at least a little reassuring, since we now know he's not afraid of so much.  I've been asking him if he's afraid or if he doesn't like something when he says he's afraid of it.  About half of the time, he'll say "don't like it".  Hmmm.

 

Aidan is fearful of new things or new people, but he does warm up and he has overcome some of his old fears.  For example – he used to be completely freaked out by the springy little door stops behind all of our inside doors (the things that keep the door from banging into the wall).  He refused to touch them or even be close to them and would get freaked out whenever one of us would walk over to it and "twang" it.  Rather than pushing the issue, we just kept reiterating that the "twanger" wouldn't hurt him and showed him that we weren't afraid of it.  He plays with the door stops all the time now.  He will run over to one of them, flick it and then yell "Twang!!!" and laugh.  The key is that he got over it – in his own time. 

 

I know from the experience of other moms who have two year olds that every kid has at least a few fears at this age and one even reminded me that fear can be a GOOD thing – for example, being afraid of strangers. 

 

 

My husband made a very good point in regards to the fact that the age between 2 and 3 years is the time when imagination is at its peak.  "We're both very creative, imaginative people," he said.  "I would be really shocked if Aidan doesn't have a wide creative streak and the vivid imagination that we are both blessed with".  So far, we aren't dealing with imaginary monsters hiding in the closet or anything, but from what I've read, it's coming.  At least now I'm prepared for it. 

 

 

Here is a good article on anxiety for any of you who might be dealing with the same thing:

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/preschooler/pdevelopment/65577.html

 

TERROR IN THE NIGHT

I also did some reading on Night Terrors.  Aidan had a night terrors a few weeks ago, which was just awful to watch.  He was only asleep for about a half hour when I heard him crying.  When I went into his room, he seemed to be having a nightmare.  I picked him up and held him, trying to comfort him and wake him up, but it took me a VERY long time to calm him down.  Today when I did some research on nightmares, it turns out that what he had was a night terror.

 

There are a few differences in nightmares and night terrors.  Nightmares typically occur in the 2 ^nd phase of sleep (REM sleep) towards the end of the sleep cycle (around 2-6am).  Night terrors occur in the non-dream (non-REM) phase of sleep, which occurs in the first few hours of the night.

 

The other differentiator is that a child having a nightmare will cry when they wake up, will remember the dream and can be comforted by your presence.  During a night terror, the child isn't truly awake (is in a weird in-between of sleep and being awake) and is unaware of your presence.  During a night terror, the child won't respond to anything you say or do.  After the night terror, the child will fall back asleep and not remember the episode later.

 

That really fits what Aidan had – he was definitely out of it that night and didn't seem to respond to my efforts to comfort him.  He couldn't tell either of us what the "bad dream" was about.

 

According to the article I'm attaching, there is no way to prevent night terrors, but in a reassuring note, it states that "night terrors do not mean a child has a psychological problem or is even upset about something".  They do state that "erratic or insufficient sleep schedule or any type of sleep deprivation" can be a factor.  I've been saying for awhile that I don't think Aidan gets enough sleep in a night (usually 10 hours at night and a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon as opposed to the 14 hours of sleep that's suggested for his age) so we're going to start making sure that he's in bed earlier and that he's in bed at the same time every night.  That won't be a huge transition during the week – we usually start the bedtime routine around 8pm, so we'll just move it up a bit – but it will be hard on the weekends because that means, in essence, that we can't ever be out later than 7:00 or 7:30pm.  We tend to push it on the weekends, keeping Aidan up until 10 or 10:30 and letting him sleep in on Saturdays and Sundays.  I'm wondering if that's creating a problem.....

 

The article also stresses a calming bedtime routine that remains the same every night, which we definitely do, so at least we have that down! 

 

Here's more info Night Terrors if you're interested:    http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/preschooler/psleep/64971.html

 

The other issue that we're having is the less-than-scary sounding nightmares (Night Terror sounds the demons of hell are coming up for a visit or something!).  The past two nights, Aidan woke up around 5-6am crying and saying "afraid of Boo Boo's bed".  Now that I know about night terrors, I can identify those as regular old nightmares.  The bad part of the nightmare situation for us is that to get him back to sleep quickly, I bring him to our bed and he sleeps there until we get up for the day.  Man, sleeping with a two year old is NOT fun.  He flops around and ends up somehow always kicking both of us in the kidneys over and over and over!  Not good!!  I know that the better way to handle it would be to comfort him and put him back to sleep in his bed, but at 5am, any sense of principle is straight out the window in favor of getting right back to sleep!

 

SUMMER SCHOOL IS IN!

I'm learning a lot right now – in all areas of life.  It's a period of massive knowledge gathering for me and I have to say, learning has never been so exciting!

 

This is a really interesting age for me – I spent my 20s doing a lot of experimenting to figure things out and so in my 30s, I have a much better sense of who I am and what works for me, but I also want to learn more. 

 

I'm reading a few different self-help books:  one on marriage, one on overeating and one on how to raise a preschooler "without spoiling or spanking" and I'm also taking a class at church on how to incorporate the teachings of Jesus into my every day life.  I'm learning SO much.....

 

One of the great struggles that I have in parenting is surrendering to motherhood.  In that, I mean being conscious of what's needed and DOING what's needed, even when that means that my life has to change.  For example, it's hard for me to call it a night early on weekend nights, even though Aidan needs a consistent bedtime.  It's hard for me to limit how long we stay at outings with other kids, even when it's obvious that Aidan is either overstimulated/overtired or needs a rest.  This is my responsibility, though.  I have to be able to quit chattering and get him to bed.....or to leave the party before I really want to, or to get home at 9pm on a Saturday night.  I need to be able to carve out time that's "adult time" where I can interact with other adults without the kids there.  It is a definite constant struggle for me, though, but I want both. 

 

One of the biggest lessons that I'm learning right now from books and from my weekly class at church is to quit ignoring my internal voice – and in a close second is the other big lesson which is that martyring myself doesn't make me a better person and doesn't feed my spirituality.  Denying myself enough rest, all in the name of trying to do it all doesn't make me a better mother.  Being the last one to leave a party doesn't mean that I was a good guest.  Ignoring my kid's needs does not honor my family and eats away at my personal integrity.  I have to quit worrying about how I'm perceived; I need to start listening to myself. 

 

The book on marriage is extremely interesting and I'm getting a lot out of that as well.  I'm learning how to deal with my own issues rather than looking to my husband to fix my past.  It's been very enlightening!!!  In the past few years, I've made a very strong effort to be proactive in my relationships – I want to be sure that I'm doing everything I can to have a strong marriage BEFORE there are issues.  I want to have strategies for how to parent Aidan BEFORE he does something that throws me for a loop. 

 

If I've learned nothing else on parenting and what effect is has on a marriage it is this – time alone is CRUCIAL.  We actually have gone out a handful of times by ourselves in the past 6 weeks and it was SO good for our marriage.  I got to finally see Steve's band play out and I have to tell you, seeing him in that different light was very cool.  It was like getting a glimpse of the guy I dated 3 years ago, not the overstressed/overworked Daddy I know at home.  Raising a child is tiring and stressful and just plain hard work;  it's so hard to try to hold a normal conversation over the yelling of a 2 year old or to de-stress when there is always something that needs to be done.  Getting away lets us reconnect as people again..........I highly, highly recommend it!!!

 

We have many challenges as parents, but the greatest one that we have is giving Aidan direction.  One of the greatest dumb things we do is to give Aidan some toys and then expect him to amuse himself.  He will definitely amuse himself, but almost never in a way that pleases us – he will usually use the toy to bang on a table/window/etc. until we tell him to quit and eventually put him in time-out for misbehaving.  Realizing that today, I felt so bad.  We are not giving him any help, expecting him to figure things out on his own and then punishing him when he doesn't do what we wanted.  How can he know what we want?  He's 2!  We're the adults; we have to give the direction. 

 

I was reminded of a very important point while reading a chapter yesterday:  two-year-olds are very curious creatures and it is in their nature to explore the world and to test all of the boundaries.  I need to be reminded of that lately.  It's easy to forget that when I'm at my wit's end! 

 

I will say right out front that the energy it takes to be a really good parent is staggering.  Staggering!!!  It is incredibly hard to work all day and then come home and be able to give 100% for the rest of the night.  That's the hard part:  there is no night off in parenting. 

 

So, those are some of the dilemmas......and I'm still formulating the plan to move forward........of how to apply that knowledge and create action with it, but here's what I have so far:

 

First off, I'm making a very solid effort to eat for energy, not for anything else and to stop the weird habit I have of punishing myself by eating foods I'm allergic to (which leaves me tired, sick, etc.).  I'm learning to address the emotions that fuel the overeating rather than burying the feelings with food.   (this wisdom is from the overeating book)

 

I'm also going to make getting enough sleep every night a priority which probably sounds dumb (and it probably is – ha ha) but Steve and I have always viewed sleep as a luxury that we can either get or not get, depending on the day.  We let the day's chores and obligations determine whether or not we get the rest we so desperately need.  Interestingly enough, this is from my church class!

 

I'm sure that Steve and I are struggling with the same issues that many families out there are facing – a shortage of money, time, energy.  The wish to be perfect.  The despair at constantly coming up short.  We will never be perfect parents and I will no doubt never be a perfect person........but I will keep trying.  J

 

In the meantime, I'm also trying very hard to not expect perfection from myself or from Steve.  I'm not going to make myself feel guilty if I'm low on energy and I need to sleep.  I'm not going to eat what's convenient if it's going to make me sick.  Sleep especially is a flat-out necessity.  It's not a luxury.  It doesn't mean that we're lazy because we're tired. 

 

In all of this learning/reading/etc., I kept coming back to a central question:  When did we quit listening to our bodies?  When did we quit listening to ourselves??  I plan to do more of that.  Hopefully the family unit will profit from it!

 

FUNNY SAYINGS

Aidan is saying a LOT these days – he sometimes surprises me with the things he knows at this point.

 

He is differentiating things lately.  For example – there are two parks close to our house.  One is literally a few blocks away and the other is a short car ride away.  The one that we reach by car is "BIG park" and the park a few blocks away is "OTHER park".  He will also give directions when we're driving by saying, "Go this way, go that way" and pointing to where he wants to go.

 

He is on a constant search for echoes.  Apparently when he's out at Mamaw and Papaw H's house every day, he can yell in front of the woods and hear an echo.  He is convinced that there is an echo in the hallway, down the basement steps and outside.  He'll stand at the end of the hallway and let out this quick little bark and then say, "There's a echo, Mommy!" 

 

He surprised me last week when he mimicked me by saying, "What you DOING, son?!?"  It's so weird to hear Aidan saying things exactly like we do and I've been making a very concerted effort to use "please" and "thank you" a lot (that old leading-by-example thing).  Sometimes he remembers to say please, but usually we have to remind him.

 

One of the sweetest things that he's doing right now is giving "butterflies kisses" as he calls it.  He'll squint his eyes shut and rub up against my cheek.  It's also really cute to listen to him "reading" his books or singing the little made-up songs that he sings.

 

Overall, he's a pretty affectionate little guy – he'll give hugs and kisses pretty regularly.  Every once in awhile he'll say, "Snuggle with Mommy" and climb up really close to me when we're watching one of his videos after bath time. 

 

He absolutely adores his cousin Ben and asks me to tell him stories every night about Ben.  I call them "Boo Boo and Benny Stories" and they always start out the same way:  "Once upon a time, there was a boy named Boo Boo and a boy named Benny and they were good friends!"  Every time I say that, he just grins from ear to ear.

 

When I tell him to close his eyes and go to sleep, he'll close his eyes and scrunch up his whole entire face in the most hilarious way.  He's also doing this weird thing where he'll blink really hard a few times in a row.......I have no idea what that's about.

 

It's a really cute time – I'll have to start writing more down so that I don't forget all of the little things he's doing right now.  J

 

And I think that's enough for this entry!!!  I think I've made up for the lost time with this monster entry! 

 

Until next time!

Heather & Aidan

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