Heather's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 1/14/08 -------------------- 4/20/07 4/13/07 4/6/07 3/30/07 3/12/07 12/5/06 10/10/06 8/25/06 7/24/06, Entry 3 7/24/06, Entry 2 7/24/06, Entry 1 7/5/06 6/6/06, Entry 2 6/6/06, Entry 1 -------------------- Heather's Introduction

4/06/07 - The First Week of Preschool

April 6, 2007

It's been a long, emotionally exhausting week!  Here's the update on Aidan's first week of preschool:

 

Monday, 4/02/07 – The First Day

 

I spent all day Sunday totally stressed out and just knowing that Monday morning was going to be really hard.    

 

The Thursday before his first day, we visited the center for the 2 ^nd time and I left Aidan in the classroom for maybe 20 minutes.  He just stood at the door of the classroom, bawling his eyes out.  As I talked to the Assistant Director, I'd look down the hallway and I could only see the top of his head and his eyes.  He never moved from that spot.

 

Monday morning went as I expected it to.  When we mentioned school, he started saying that he didn't want to go.  He rode in my car and all along the way I was trying to stay upbeat and told him how much fun he was going to have once he got used to it.  He sat in the backseat and mumbled.  At first I couldn't hear what he was saying, but eventually I heard him say, "And Peter Rabbit was VERY naughty.  He went straight to Mr. MacGregor's garden...."  He was repeating the story of Peter Rabbit that his grandparents have been reading to him.  It took all the strength I had not to cry.

 

We dropped Aidan off together around 9:15 and after we got his stuff put away, etc. we told him we'd see him soon and we left our little guy in the arms of one of his teachers, red faced and sobbing.  He reached for us as we walked out the door and it just shattered me. 

 

As we walked down the hallway, Steve asked if I was OK.  I lied and said yes and he said, "Well I'm not!"  We got out to the parking lot before we had our meltdown (good thing I had lots of tissues).  I said, "It just makes me sad to think that he thinks we've left him forever......he just doesn't understand and he's only 3, alone in the world with nobody that he knows!"  Steve pointed out that he was in a classroom with 15 other kids but it still felt like he was all alone in the world for me. 

 

At 10:30am, I called to check on him.  His class was outside, so he was fine.  I had commented to Steve that morning that he only had 30 minutes until outside time – and if anything would make him happy, outside time would!  I spoke to the Assistant Director and she said he was outside and was doing fine.  I felt SO relieved.

 

That changed when Steve called around 11:30.  Once the class came back inside, Aidan fell apart and kept crying.  When I went to pick him up at 12:15, he had cried to the point of exhaustion and was fast asleep on the floor, using his stuffed lion Umna as a pillow.  Talk about a knife in the heart! 

 

His teacher said that they thought it would be best if we only brought Aidan half-days for a few weeks so that he could gradually get used to the new schedule, rather than going right into full days.  I wasn't ready for that – that means that now I'll be taking time off of work every week for the next few weeks.  Another worry to add to the pile.

 

That night I talked to Steve about alternatives to preschool if it didn't get any better.  While I wanted to give it a chance, I wondered how many days Aidan (and I) could go through like that one. 

 

4/03/07 – Aidan's 2 ^nd Day

 

Today was a little better with one exception – the school called at about 10:30 to tell me that Aidan had thrown up all over himself.  They didn't think that he was getting sick, though, just that he'd gotten himself so worked up that he'd gotten an upset stomach from it.  My poor little guy!  They recommended that since he was doing OK at the time and not crying, though, that I just go ahead and let him finish out the morning.  It seems that the goal for today is to get him to stay through lunch and to eat a little bit while he's there. 

 

When I called at 10:30, I spoke to one of his teachers who informed me that he did really well outside, so they were going to send him out for a 2 ^nd time with another class.  I thought that was really cool that they were willing to work with him to help him through his day.

 

I emailed Steve to let him know and he called awhile later on his break.  He said, "We will get through this.......but it's going to be hard".  And how. 

 

After I picked him up today, though, I got some very relieving news.  When I walked into his classroom, he was running around with Umna and another little boy was running around behind him carrying a doll.  When he saw me, he smiled really big and instead of wanting to get out of there as soon as possible, he said, "I need to show you something, Mommy!" and proceeded to show me around the room a little bit. 

 

His teachers said that he had a really good 2 ^nd day and that he did much better than yesterday (excluding the barfing).  Today he ate lunch there and on his progress note for the day, one of his teachers wrote "Aidan let all of his new friends open and shut his Thomas thermos".  I was so relieved I wanted to cry (notice the theme of the week – lots and lots of crying).  When we walked towards the door to leave, Aidan yelled out , "Bye everybody!" and a whole group of the little kids ran over to him and said, "Bye Aidan!!"  Aidan addressed the group by saying, "I'm going home now with my friend Umna".  It was really cute.

 

4/04/07 – Aidan's 3 ^rd Day

 

Progress is being made – hallelujah!  I was worried about today because it got much colder and rained on Tuesday night, so I figured there wouldn't be any outside time today.  I was right on the lack of outside time but he did OK regardless.  I called about 10:30 and spoke to one of his teachers who told me that Aidan did get upset when they didn't go outside but he recovered and went back to the room rather than playing in the "Exploration Room" (aka indoor play area).  She said that he sat on their little couch for awhile and just watched the other kids, but isn't participating yet.  "He's still just figuring it all out," she said.  That's so like him.  He analyzes everything before he's going to get involved. 

 

When I picked him up today, he was doing just fine – it was almost nap time so one of his teachers was sitting with him in the Exploration Room right by the front door.  When I walked in he saw me right away and said, "Yook who's here!!"  His teacher said he did really well and said, "Monday might be a bit of a challenge after he's been away for 4 days.  He'll forget about this and then it will surprise him that he's coming back".  To prepare for that, we're going to mention school each day this weekend, just to remind him that he DOES have to go back! 

 

Overall, he's making progress, and that was my only requirement after his 1 ^st day.  I can stick with it so long as he's making progress and not spending every day crying all day long.  I talked with my boss about taking off half days on Mondays and Wednesdays for the next 2 weeks and she said that was fine, so now we can let him get used to the new schedule a little bit before sending him all day. 

 

This has been, by far, the hardest thing I've ever had to do as a parent.  This is harder than sleepless nights, it's harder than taking away a pacifier or setting boundaries.  It involves me making Aidan do something that I know will be good for him, but that scares him to death.  And I have to make him do it on his own.  It has been unbelievably heartbreaking to see him so scared and so sad and to not be able to fix it for him.  I know it's one of many life experiences that I'll only be able to support him in from afar.  It SUCKS.

 

 

I'm still reading through The Highly Sensitive Child and learning a lot.  It always amazes me how the knowledge of something is so freeing.  Now I know that Aidan's personality type isn't due to environment or parenting style, but rather it's just how he was made. 

 

What's also been interesting is the feedback I've gotten from last week's entry when I first brought up the subject.  I realized very quickly that those friends I have who are highly sensitive got it right away – and those who are not sensitive were perplexed or cynical about it and thought it was just total BS because they don't understand it.  Before making a judgment call, I challenge you to determine if you're sensitive or not. 

 

Here's a self test to see if you're a Highly Sensitive Person – if you answer yes to more than 14 of these questions, you're a HSP.  If you're not, well, you're not going to understand.

 

                I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.

 

 

                I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.

 

 

                Other people's moods affect me.

 

 

                I tend to be very sensitive to pain.

 

 

I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.

 

 

I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.

 

 

I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.

 

 

I have a rich, complex inner life.

 

 

I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.

 

 

I am deeply moved by the arts or music.

 

 

My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.

 

 

I am conscientious.

 

 

I startle easily.

 

 

I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.

 

 

When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).

 

 

I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

 

 

I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.

 

 

I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.

 

 

I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.

 

 

Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood.

 

 

Changes in my life shake me up.

 

 

I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.

 

 

I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.

 

 

I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.

 

 

I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.

 

 

When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.

 

 

When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

 

 

The author states that sensitive people usually identify right away with the questions above, while non-sensitive people don't get it and may not answer yes to even one of those questions.

 

Remember, this is just a personality type – just as there are outgoing people or fearless, thrill-seeker type – this is NOT a disorder.

 

Anyhoo – in reading the book I'm getting a better idea of how to handle Aidan.  Now instead of getting annoyed when he wants something JUST SO, I stop and ask him why or I let him do what he's doing to see what it is that he's trying to accomplish.  Sometimes I have a little "aha" moment and I see that he was trying to make something perfect or accomplish something.  Other times, he is insistent that something happen that I'm just not going to let him do (like yesterday when he was moving a chair over to the front window to open it – and it's like 45 degrees outside).  I've done a better job of not escalating when he gets frustrated and instead diffusing the situation.  I've learned not to cave to pressure if we're out and he's not comfortable or needs more time to "warm up".  It's really hard for a non-sensitive person to understand why Aidan doesn't want to be approached right away by someone he's not familiar with and it's hard to communicate that without looking like a big old witch!

 

Beyond all of that fun stuff, Aidan has been saying more funny things lately, so here are a few........

 

He is absolutely in LOVE with popcorn.  He can't get enough of it!  I started making popcorn on Friday nights when Steve has band practice and Aidan looks forward to it every week.  He started saying he was my "little popcorn boy" a few weeks ago and every time I say that tomorrow is Friday he gets SO excited and says, "And we will make POPCORN!!!!!!" 

 

 

He says "stinks" instead of "thinks" – as in, "I stink we should do this now".  He can't say Ls or Ws yet, so instead of saying "looks" he'll say "yooks".  I'm going to be sure to get him on video this weekend saying some of his little sayings this weekend.

 

 

The other night, I was doing yoga before bed and Aidan got all excited and wanted to "exercise with Mommy".  I told him I was doing yoga and he said, "I'm your little yoga boy!"  Then he did the yoga exercises with me and thought it was hilarious fun.  I told him that I was doing some yoga stretches to make my back feel better and he said, "I will rub your back and make it feel better!"  He is very sweet like that – the other night he did something (I forget) that hurt my leg and when I said, "Ow – that hurt!" he stopped what he was doing and gave me a little smacky kiss on the leg, saying, "NOW does your leg feel better, Mommy?"  I love that he is concerned with others, even at this young age.  I like to think that he'll grow into a very considerate man some day.  J

 

 

On Wednesday, after I picked Aidan up from school, we went to Target.  As we were standing in line, a woman with a little girl got in line behind us.  Aidan looked at her and said, "Where did you come from?"  She laughed and said, "I just came from work".  He pointed to the little girl and said, "Where did she come from?" and the woman said, "She came from Grandma's.  Where did you come from?" and he said, "SCHOOL!!"  Then he said, "I LOVE Target!!!"  The woman laughed at him again and said, "You don't hear that from boys very often!"  The cashier laughed and said, "Good boy!" 

 

 

I think that's all the news that's fit to report for this week!  Have a great Easter!

 

~H&A

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