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The March Aidan Update!

March 12, 2007

Greetings readers!

Here are the odds and ends I've collected over the past month about Aidan. Sorry if it's not as cohesive as I'd like, but these days throwing together a few thoughts is about all I have time for!

Oh, the funny things he's saying these days. Here are some of the highlights:

Last night Aidan was cracking us up – we were all laying in our bed, talking about "happy things" before bed and I said that we could say a little prayer for him if he'd like. He said he wanted to and when I was finished, Steve said that he could pray for himself if he wanted to too. He said, "Dear Santa Claus, please help me not to have bad dreams. A-MEN!" Then he asked what A-MEN meant but I couldn't hold it in – I was ROLLING. I said, "I don't think that Santa answers prayers........." and Steve said, "Well, how do you know? He is magical after all!" Oh, that was soooooo funny!

One day when I was giving him warnings for some sort of misbehavior (I'm forgetting at the moment), he looked at me and smiled really big. I said, "What are you doing?" and he said "This face is going to get me out of trouble".

He likes to argue, although he is mellowing out on that a bit lately. For awhile there, he'd argue with absolutely everything that anybody said to him. If I said it was time for a bath he'd say, "It is NOT time for a bath!" If I said it was time to leave he'd say, "It is NOT time to leave!" You get the point. The all-time best argument though was "yes it is sometimes it does!" which would be in response to me saying, "Yes we ARE going to take a bath – let's go". He'd say it ultra-fast so that it almost sounded like one big long word – "yesitdoessometimesitdoes!"

One afternoon my husband cut loose with this massive fart and said, "What was THAT?" to Aidan. Aidan yelled out, "That is GAS daddy!" and then he said, "Daddy do it again!" Daddy said that he was all out of gas and I said, "That's a first – Daddy almost always has the gift of gas". Aidan said, "Gas is a gift – it's a butt gift!" and we were all howling.

A few weeks ago, my inlaws asked me if one of us says, "This is not an option" to Aidan. I had to smile because it's me who tells him that something is "not an option". They went on to say that Aidan had been saying, "This is NOT an option – THIS is an option" during the day.

This one is my personal favorite. For reference – from time to time, Steve will jokingly say, "He's the devil!" when Aidan's acting up or just being hyper. Also, Steve plays this game with Aidan where he puts his whole hand over his face and says, "Monkey claw!" One day, completely out of nowhere, Aidan was running around and he ran up to Steve and said, "I'm a devil – I'm a Devil Monkey Claw!"

One of the other funny things he's doing these days is yelling out, "HIT somebody!" or "POKE somebody!" when he gets mad. He likes to throw that little arm out when he says, "POKE somebody!" for emphasis (see more on this below). We don't laugh at him to his face, but man, we have a hard time not busting out laughing sometimes when he does it. It looks HILARIOUS. I never found it funny until one day, without Aidan around, Steve looked and me and said, "POKE somebody!" and threw his arm out like Aidan does. I just LOST it. Ever since then, it's been funny.........although we have to stifle in front of the boy so that he doesn't get the wrong idea. Instead we tell him that it's not nice to poke or hit anybody. Then we go off into another room and try to gain composure. LOL

The Age of Questioning is also upon us. The most funny thing about the questions is that he'll ask things that don't make sense – like he'll ask if he can go with me if I'm going out and before I'll even answer he'll ask "why?"

Steve was telling Aidan a bedtime story about going to the pool and ever since, he has been DYING to go to the pool. I told him that when Benny's birthday comes, we can go to the pool but not until then. He's starting saying, "Today is Benny's birthday! I go to the POOL!!!" Steve has been cracking up at how he talks with his hands. He'll throw an arm out for emphasis or he'll hold his hands up by his head (jazz-hands style) and I just ROLL because it is sooooooo Steve. Big hands, big eyes, big drama!

2/19/07

This past Saturday Steve and I had "date night" for the first time in months and it was SO nice. We were only out for a few hours but it's so nice to have an uninterrupted meal and to go see a movie (we went to see "Dreamgirls" – which was REALLY good). It's so rare that we are just out ALONE, by ourselves, to be able to talk and just be a couple. On our way back to pick Aidan up, Steve looked at me and said, "I really miss you". Those of you who are parents will need no explanation on that one, but those of you who aren't are probably thinking, "Don't you see each other every day?" Everything changes when a baby arrives – there are no quiet moments anymore and there is no time where you can talk to your significant other about finances or anything else without a little person very loudly demanding attention. I reiterated again how crucial it is that we take some time just to ourselves – just us alone – so that we can reconnect again once a month!

Last week, I implemented two new things in our house – the House Rules and the Rewards system. This is straight out of the book of Supernanny, so I can't claim it as my own brilliant idea, but I did make colorful headings for each page so that counts for something, right? The House Rules is a short list (I think I made 5) of rules that are agreed upon by Steve and I as absolutes. For example, our rules are 1) No Hitting, 2) No Arguing, 3) No Spitting, 4) Pick up your toys every night, etc. When I posted the rules, I showed them to Aidan and read them off – and when he breaks them, I remind him of the House Rules and also remind him that if he doesn't follow the rules we'll have to have a naughty spot. He absolutely HATES the naughty spot, not necessarily because he has to sit in one spot for 3 minutes (although that also kills him) but because we ignore him while he's on it. He gets SO upset that we won't talk to him and starts yelling, "You don't look around! You talk to ME now!" Usually it only takes one trip to the naughty spot to get him behaving again, although he does have his days! When I was watching SuperNanny last week, it occurred to me that I have the Naughty Spot DOWN. Once I put him on the spot, he isn't get ANY attention for the next 3 minutes. He can scream, he can get down, he can throw whatever kind of fit he want – I WILL NOT react. It's a good feeling to be in control like that and it DEFINITELY works. The key is in taking away all attention. He might throw a fit when I put him on the spot, but when he realizes that nothing he does is going to get a reaction from me, then by the end of the 3 minutes he's calmed down and is ready to say he's sorry. Who would've thought that such a thing would work?

The Rewards system works like this – I have a big piece of post-it flip chart paper stuck to the wall with 3 categories: Using the potty, Picking up Toys and Being Polite. When Aidan does any of those 3 things, he gets a sticker (and I got him some really cool stickers that he'd be excited about, like Thomas and Cars). When he gets a sticker, we make a big deal out of it and sing a little song and dance on over to the Rewards sheet to put a sticker on it. It has worked really well – we can motivate him to clean up toys or use the potty by reminding him that he'll get a sticker if he does it. To up the excitement factor, there are also some goals for him to work towards – when he gets 10 stickers, he gets a "special surprise" (i.e., cheap toy) and when he gets 25 stickers, we will do something BIG (i.e., taking him to the Children's Museum or to the Aquarium for an afternoon). My in-laws bought us a season pass to the Zoo for Christmas, so we'll use the Zoo as his "big" rewards once Spring comes! Aidan already hit his 10 sticker mark this past weekend, so today I ordered him a Ralph's World CD. We record Little Einsteins every day for him to watch in the evenings and after one of the episodes there's a Ralph's World video for "Dance Around the Room". Aidan LOVES that song – when it comes on he says, "This is my FAVORITE SONG Mommy!" and starts dancing and clapping and stomping his feet to the lyrics. I found the CD on Amazon - it's a 2 disc set and the 2 ^nd disc is videos! Woo hoo! Now maybe I can listen to something else besides Black Box on the way home each night. Ralph will be a welcome break!

3/12/07

We took Aidan to the park yesterday and I was AMAZED at how different the experience is at 3 as opposed to 2. Right off the bat, he went to the BIG playground – didn't want anything to do with the little one – and climbed all the way up to the top of the playground and went down the biggest slide they have. Last year, he would climb up to the top but was scared to death to go down the slide. This year he didn't even hesitate. He's so funny, though. He is so cautious – he tests everything out repeatedly before he'll do anything risky, like jump off of something high or climb on something unsteady. I held his hand while he walked across one of the little "bridge" that moves when kids run across it. First I had to hold his hand, then he graduated to holding onto the sides himself and by the time we left he was running across it (but stopping at the end to carefully get off). He's by no means a dare devil and I couldn't be happier about that – caution is good! I would hate it if he was diving off of things head first and getting all banged up in the process. I am not good with trips to the ER and I WOULD have to put him in a bubble if he started needing to get stitches. L

He was really funny with the other kids too. He was talking to a really little girl who was watching him on the bridge but I couldn't hear what he said to her. When he was trying to get on the bridge, a bigger girl was standing in his way and he said, "You need to move!" Last year at this time he would've looked at her and then run away if she made eye contact. All on his own, he started to come out of his shell right around his 3 ^rd birthday. Those of you dealing with an incredibly timid 2 year old, take heart. That phase, just like so many before it, will pass and new (possibly worse) one will arrive. LOL

So what's up with Aidan's parents you ask? Steve is looking for a new job so that he's not left hanging when his department moves to Indianapolis in August (or before, depending on when they can get staff trained and working in Indy). He's also really getting burned out (he's been working 55+ hours a week since December). I'm soooooo ready for him to make that change. Trying to juggle working and parenting a 3 year old is a challenge in a normal situation – doing so when one parent is completely unavailable weekday nights plus Saturdays is EXTREMELY hard. There is very little I can do with Aidan around since he is VERY demanding these days so it's frustrating for everybody.

As for me, I have hit the Working Mother jackpot! I now work at home on Tuesdays, which isn't exactly a day off since I do still have to work – but it does give me the chance to see everybody off in the morning and to tidy up around the house a little bit. I'm also now off on Thursdays (I'm working 4 ten hour days to do this) so I'll have a full extra day a week to spend with Aidan. I'm really looking forward to that!!!

The reason that I decided to change my schedule is because Aidan is starting PRESCHOOL in 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO excited. After much research, we decided to enroll him at the Goddard School starting the first week of April. I am absolutely thrilled with Goddard – everything that I've seen there impressed me (and I am massively picky so that's saying something!). He's going to start out in the Young Preschool room since he's not fully potty trained yet, and will move into the 3 ½ year old/Preschool room in a few months when he is fully potty trained. The assistant director said that placing him in the Young Preschool room would probably be most beneficial to him since he's never been in a daycare environment (there's a little less structure in that room). I like their philosophies, I like that they are a curriculum-based program, I like the very detailed daily status report I'll be getting, I like the weekly exercise class they take – it's just the coolest! They have a PTO! They're moving into a brand new building in June! They have pizza day!! There are a thousand extras there and I'm all about bells and whistles, people! I toured Goddard first and after that I was pretty much ruined. It's definitely not the cheapest option, but it's also not the most expensive place in town either. As my dear husband said, "There are things you can cut corners on, but this isn't one of them. You get what you pay for and I'm not willing to skimp on the place where we leave our kid all day." Amen to that!

In the end, two things sold me on Goddard. #1 – I felt very comfortable there and I feel comfortable dropping Aidan off there, even if he does have a rough time adjusting to the fact that he's in a strange place. That is key. I am not going to be able to go to work and function if I'm sick over the fact that I feel "iffy" about the people who are taking care of my kid all day. #2 – One of my coworkers informed me that she used to work at that exact same Goddard location during the summers when she was in college. She said that she knows the owner and that she (the owner) has extremely high standards for her teachers. My coworker had absolutely nothing bad to say about the place – and I'd classify her as being PICKIER than I am (imagine!) so I definitely trust her judgment. That told me that my instincts were right. I'm all for going with the gut, but I'm even happier when I can back up that feeling with validation.

Over the next few weeks, I want to start getting things ready for Aidan's first week of school. We were at the grocery store on Sunday afternoon and I was checking out the juice box selection. Steve said, "Look, Aidan – isn't Mommy cute? She's getting all excited over which juice box you'll be taking to school!" I know I'm a dork, but I'm just so massively excited for him to go to preschool. It's just going to be good on so many levels!!!

Today at my yearly OB/GYN appointment, my doctor asked me if I was planning to have any more babies. Moments before, I sat in the chair in her office absolutely petrified that she would walk in and tell me that the pregnancy test they always routinely do was positive. "No, I don't think I am actually," I told her quite calmly. "I had a particularly difficult pregnancy and delivery, so I think I'm going to stick at one". She smiled and said, "A little gunshy?" I laughed and said, "Oh yes". I've really started to be comfortable with the idea of having only one child. I finally feel like we're able to give Aidan what he needs – that we have the money to pay for a good preschool, that we are comfortable in our parenting style and that we have set our lives up to support all of his needs. I can give him the best of everything without having to compromise because there's another child to worry about and I like that. I'll never say never to a second kid, but considering I'm 33 (and formerly fertility challenged), I really don't see another baby in our future. For the first time, I'm absolutely fine with that. Any time I've thought about having another baby, I get stopped cold in my tracks when I start thinking about pregnancy. I think that may be a sign. Ha!

The other thing I'm very fine with these days is being a working mother. All along the way, it's really bothered me that I couldn't be home with Aidan and I'd always have these fantasies about what being a stay-at-home mom would be like. Now that Aidan is 3 and about to go to preschool, though, I have no regrets about working. I think our setup is going to be the best of all worlds for Aidan. He'll be learning new things in school while making friends and being around kids his own age, he'll be spending a whole day with me and then he'll be spending a day with his grandparents. I am deliriously happy with this arrangement. I honestly couldn't ask for anything more. It gives my in-laws a chance to enjoy their retirement without being tied down all the time, it gives me more time at home and it gives Aidan a really good start on his education. To say I'm giddy is a vast understatement! It was different when he was younger – I'd just miss him so much – but I look at where I am today in my career opposed to where I was when he was born and I realize how many advantages I've gotten by working these past 3 years. If I would've quit my job then, I'd be re-entering the work force now (or in a few more years) at the same level at which I quit. We wouldn't be able to afford any sort of preschool if I hadn't gotten promoted. It's times like these when I realize that things do happen for a reason. I feel very blessed now to be able to provide for my son and spend more time with him – the absolute best of both worlds.

I hope that all is well in your world!

Heather & Aidan

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Heather's Diary Entries

The March Aidan Update!

March 12, 2007

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