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A time for some reflection?

November 10, 2006

A particularly nasty head cold is making its way through our family courtesy of a visit from my mother in law last weekend, who brought the cold with her.  Ava was first, with me hard on her heels.  John got wholloped by it this weekend.  For some reason the cold seems to be lingering more with our 'Tito – she has a barking little cough that is very occasional, but sounds just terrible when does happen.  I don't know if it's the cold or another issue, but Ava has been extremely emotional the past few days.  So clingy, crying, whining, inconsolable over very minor issues.  For example, Ava and I did a Target run Sunday morning to give John a little space and peace with his cold.  We got home right around lunch time, so I made her a quick lunch and she went down for her nap shortly after.  I was putting away our Target purchases and loaded our little 'fridge in the mud room with beverages we had purchased.  When Ava woke up from her nap and saw that I had loaded the 'fridge she wailed for a good 20 minutes.  It is true that loading the little 'fridge is normally her 'job' but even so her reaction was so unlike her.  I tried to hug her, apologize, asked her to rearrange the beverages in the 'fridge, but nothing would settle her down.  She kept crying and crying, 'That's my job momma.'  I felt bad, but the way out of proportion response left me kind of mystified about what to do.  That type of scene played itself out much of the weekend.  It left me feeling worn out by our overly sensitive girl.

I may have declared victory on the whole potty training front too early.  We transitioned Ava to all panties all the time a little over a week ago, but the whole poop progress has regressed and stalled.  Now we are in the delightful position of having a three year old who again won't poop in the potty, but also refuses to wear a pull up.  Day care is quite pleased, let me tell you.  What happened to the whole 'once she gets it, she'll get it?'  Is her emotional clinginess related to this?  I sort of wondered if this had anything to do with my pregnancy, but I kind of doubt it.  While Ava is so very sweet about the baby, the concept remains pretty abstract to her.  I don't see the baby causing any disruption in her life right now at all.  We haven't changed her routine, we haven't begun decorating the room where the baby will sleep, the crib is still stored in the basement...  It is possible she is sensitive enough to pick up on impending change, I suppose.  I wouldn't rule it out, but I just kind of doubt it. 

Ava and I had the funniest conversation the other day.  At her daycare there is one bathroom with 5-6 little toilets and all the kids do their business in there.  They are partitioned, but it's pretty much a free love experience when they are going to the bathroom.  We're in the bathroom at home and Ava is sitting on the potty, not pooping.  She tells me "I don't have a little tail on my bottom because I am a girl."  I say, "Sweetie, that little tail is called a penis and that's right, boys have penises."  And it sort of went on from there.  I want to teach Ava proper names for body parts, although with her we've gone with the rather generic 'bottom' for the most part.  It is interesting to me how aware she is of the differences between boys and girls.  She nearly always makes note if someone is a boy or girl.  Her class at daycare is dominated by boys – 9 of them to 3 girls.  The gender identification aspects of her development has been sort of surprising.  While Ava does enjoy playing with cars and blocks, she also gravitates to dolls and princesses.  I wonder about all the unconscious ways we reinforce that. 

Since I last wrote Halloween has come and gone.  Beggar's Night was a study in bizzaro weather.  During the day the temps hovered around 70, but by the time trick or treating started a wicked wind had picked up and it was 40 degrees outside.  Ava was dressed pretty warmly as a Care Bear (the pink one) but even so, trick or treating was pretty abbreviated.  John, bless him, took her around while I handed out candy.  Ava came back and helped me at the door and I was again so impressed by her kindness and generosity.  Her favorite candy are those sweet tart 'Smarties.'  I bought some to pass out with the Halloween candy and when Ava was helping me she gathered them all up and handed one out to each child who came to the door.  I guess I expect a three year old to be a little more grabby than that.  Although she did make quick work of insuring all the leftover Smarties went to her bucket as soon as trick or treating was over!  Watching the kids who came to our door, I was struck by how many were older – like 13-14.  How old is too old for kids to go door to door?  Trick or treating has always struck me as a child's activity.  I can't remember when I stopped going out – I know that I would take my baby brother (who is 12 years younger than me) around when I was in high school, but I didn't dress up or collect any candy.  It was especially obvious this year for some reason, as the older kids seemed kind of like little punks compared to the sweet young kids/elementary age kids. 

My pregnancy seems to be progressing well, as near as I can tell.  I have a routine pre-natal appointment next Monday morning.  I am fairly certain I am feeling our Swab moving around occasionally.  It isn't consistent by any stretch, but it seems that every day or two I feel a little flutter that is most certainly the baby.  I know I may regret writing this, but I am looking forward to those definitive movements.  It was one of my favorite parts of my pregnancy with Ava, although toward the end it was a little bit uncomfortable.  My growing belly is becoming more noticeable all the time, although I still haven't gained much, if any weight. 

This weekend John, Ava and I are doing a very quick trip to see our nephew, who was just born a few weeks ago.  We're leaving Saturday morning, returning Sunday afternoon.  It will be nice to get out of town and I always enjoy time with Brian, Hilary and their family. 

The election has come and gone and it was an exciting night for a large number of the candidates I supported.  A good friend was elected to the State Senate and there are some really exciting things happening politically in my state.  The next few weeks should produce some interesting opportunities (or not) and I find myself at some loose ends for how to deal with it. But for some reason this doesn't feel like a place to process what's going on... I wanted to comment about the lack of energy I have given to diary writing lately.  While I feel that iparenting has worked hard to re-vamp the site it doesn't seem to have much energy.  Maybe that's because of the effort being put forth by diary writers (myself included) but I haven't been especially interesting or dynamic.  More and more I feel like I am kind of regurgitating events.  I don't want to lose this stuff to the recesses of my memory, but I do acknowledge my entries have been a bit stale.  Comments have slowed to practically nothing.  I would legitimately be interested in any feedback people might have about how it can be improved – either just myself or the site as a whole.  What's missing that makes this a more compelling place to visit?

Until next time, thanks for reading—

Kate