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Where does the time go?

October 30, 2006

Again I have managed to start an entry and not finish it for weeks and weeks. I don't know why I don't seem to have the same energy for diary writing right now. I want to keep this up and vow to be better. This entry may be a bit disjointed as I try to catch up and record some things that have been going on. From this point forward maybe I will focus on writing shorter entries, more frequently so time doesn't get away from me like this!

Two weeks ago Friday I had a regular prenatal appointment and was again surprised by the choices I am afforded by being a pregnant woman of 'advanced maternal age.' (It says so right on my chart. With a blaze orange sticker) A few weeks ago I wrote about the reassuring news we received from the initial test we had done – the diagnostic ultrasound and blood serum analysis. Based on that information John and I had decided to forgo any further testing. Turns out the test we took looks for chromosomal abnormalities, but does not detect neural tube defects. So, at my last appointment I was offered another blood screening - one of the 4 things they typically test for in the Quad Screen test and a Level II ultrasound to quantify my risk for our Swab to have neural tube defects. (BTW, not a good idea to ask what kinds of things constitute a neural tube defect. The answer is scary as he**) So I reversed the decision to forgo further testing and consented to the neural tube screenings. It wasn't such a hard choice – again the tests are non-invasive, quantify our risk plus it means I get another peek at the babe. This time Swab may even show us his or her bits so we may get narrow down our conversations about names and what to do with his/her room.

The rest of the visit was uneventful. I haven't gained any weight so far, not that I am trying to manage my food intake or anything! The same thing happened during my pregnancy with Ava. I didn't gain any weight, didn't gain any weight and then from 22 weeks until delivery I put on 30 pounds. I have been struggling with, ahem, constipation during this pregnancy. Which totally stinks. The OB wrote me a prescription for pre-natal vitamins that is supposed to help, but not so much yet. I am taking the recommended amount of bulk fiber each day, eating apples and whole wheat bread... Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.

I've written here about our potty training struggles with Ava, who has been 'potty' trained for over a year, peeing in the potty and rarely, if ever having accidents. But the whole pooping thing is another story. Several weeks ago, completely unexpectedly, she decided it was time to poop in the potty. And did so for several days without incident. I was thrilled. Then last Thursday she was moving her bowels in the potty and it was apparently painful. She cried, told me her bottom hurt, but finished without incident. Then refused to poop anywhere (potty or pull up) for NINE DAYS. I started loading Ava up on the fiber I have been stirring into my beverages, cutting back on the milk and so forth. We reached the desperation point and made an appointment with her pediatrician, which I am sure would not have had pleasant outcomes for her. Fortunately Ava filled her pants the night before the appointment, so we were able to cancel. We've decided to go cold turkey on the pull ups – we're all done. She's just wearing panties now, which she is suddenly thrilled about. Before that wasn't any kind of incentive and in fact she would ask for pull ups when we tried the panty route. Hopefully I am not jumping the gun in my celebration of the end of potty training. The poop thing is still pretty tentative, but I do feel like we've had a break through.

A couple of weeks ago we walked in a parade in support of a friend of ours who is running for the State Senate. We pulled Ava behind us in her wagon. When we got there, they put bumper stickers all over her wagon and gave her a big bag of candy to throw to the parade watchers. My Patito was so darn sweet to watch. She took her job as the 'parade helper' so seriously. Ava set aside one piece of candy for herself (a package of Smarties) and quite studiously threw the rest to children watching the parade. She was so cute I could hardly stand it. I was blown away by her 'generosity??' (is that the right word) that she wanted to throw all the candy and only keep one little piece for herself. She ran out of candy about ¾ of the way through the parade and was so upset we ended up pilfering candy from the float ahead of us so she could continue her job as the number one parade helper!

Ava continues to be very sweet, funny, kind about the baby. She likes to rub and tickle my growing belly and talk about the baby. Saying things like 'babies don't talk very much, but they cry a lot. We'll need to get Swab her own 'two' (Ava's beloved security blanket) to make her feel better.' You'll notice that she is referring to the baby as a she pretty regularly. In the past week or so I have begun to think girl for this baby. Is it because Ava calls the baby a girl? For the longest time I had no instinct at all. John is convinced Swab's a boy and has been since the start. His instinct proved to be better with Ava (who he knew was a girl and I was pretty sure was a boy) so I'm going with him for the time being. Even though I am thinking girl thoughts. Friday a busy body I used to work with gave me the whole 'oh, you must be hoping for a boy' routine, which as I've mentioned, really chaffs me for some reason. So my response was 'no, actually I'm not, I'm really hoping it's a girl.' A total lie, but I just wanted to shut her up.

The baby naming discussions have begun in earnest, a process I really, really enjoy. For the most part I throw out the names and John vetoes. Although he does make occasional suggestions and was actually the person who came up with Ava's name. Of course this was before everyone starting naming their girls Ava. I am recording our list right now for posterity because I'll be curious where it ends up. I know once you put names out there everyone has an opinion. These are the names we like, so keep your comments/feedback gentle.

Girls:

Amelia seems to be the leading contender right now, probably call her Mia. A friendly colleague of mine has a daughter named Amelia, but I don't think it would bother her if we co-opted the name. We're not THAT close.

Julia was the runner up name for Ava. In fact, I thought she was going to be Julia pretty much right up until the point she was born. My only hesitation is that it feels like a runner up or hand me down name. I know its not, it's a name I really like, so we'll see.

I love Chole – John not so much. Ditto for Stella. But I think I could talk him into either if I really worked at it.

We both like Eleanor, more for the nicknames like Ellie or Nora, but I don't think its got much traction right now.

Boys:

Henry seems to be the leading boy name right now. It is the name I go back to in my mind most often.

I really like the name Jack, but John is worried, somehow, about naming a child a 'nickname.' I think it's a good name and I like the nod to John without outright naming a boy after him. I could probably talk him into it.

Miles is gaining some steam. At first John said no way, but he seems to be warming to the idea. I think it is a cool name, not one you hear a lot, but not totally unusual. Of course, I thought that about Ava too!

We both really like the name Ethan, but it is NUMBER FIVE on the list of most popular boys names. This is making me a bit nervous and causing me to shy away from it.

This pregnancy is such a different experience from my first. Altogether I feel both overwhelmed with joy and excitement at the prospect of having another little one to love and parent and feeling much more apprehension than I can ever remember during my pregnancy with Ava. For example, John and his brothers are interested in running a half marathon together out of state a couple of weeks after the baby is due. I don't want to tell John to stay home (oh, and by the way, he's already told his brothers 'no') but I am sort of overwhelmed by the prospect of taking care of two children by myself! How do you get them both into the car? How do you go to the grocery store? What do you do when your are nursing the baby and Ava needs help going to the bathroom? Ava will be almost four when this baby is born and in many ways she gets easier to take care of every day. What were we thinking going back to the whole infant stage again? I mean clearly millions of people have managed this without incident, so I am being a bit of a freak, but it still goes through my mind. And frankly it doesn't help when people make comments like 'oh, having two isn't double the work it is TEN TIMES the work.' I'm sure that's true, but really! Not helpful!

Tonight is Beggar's Night, perhaps a uniquely Iowa phenomenon where kids trick or treat the night before Halloween. Our neighborhood is fairly enclosed and teeming with children, so I bought about twice as much candy as I did last year. Last year we ran out an hour before Beggar's Night was slated to end and had to turn off our light. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous, so hopefully I estimated correctly. If not we will be eating Halloween candy until the new year. Ava is going to be a pink Carebear. It is a very sweet costume. Plenty, plenty warm for an evening that is supposed to be in the 60's.

I've attached a picture my brother took of our sweet girl at a political event last month. He is a professional photographer and I can see why/how he earned his quite expensive undergrad degree. Certainly he has a talent I do not posses with my little point and shoot digital.

Thanks for reading and catching up with me.

--Kate

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Kate's Diary Entries

Where does the time go?

October 30, 2006

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