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The woman she'll be

August 4, 2006

John is back safe and sound from his trip.  He even managed to make it home a day earlier than expected, which was a nice treat for us.  He was due home Monday night, but came home Sunday instead.  Since he had already taken Monday off, I decided to play hookie from work as well and enjoy a day of reconnecting with him.  We kept Ava home from daycare and mostly puttered around the house.  Although we did manage a quick swim and a Target run in the context of our mostly relaxing day.  While it was wonderful to have John back I will say it felt like it took us most of the day Monday to find our rhythm again.  You know, the 're-entry' after having been apart for nearly a week was noticeable.  Things have settled right back into our usual groove and we've had a nice week or so despite the hotter than blazes weather.

I think Ava is going through a little growth spurt because she is eating a lot more and sleeping slightly longer than usual.  Her body has shed any last remnant of baby – she is longer, leaner and more angular. Against our pediatrician's wishes we have moved Ava into a booster seat for riding in the car.  We bought one for the trip we took to in July believing it would be easier to navigate in the rental car, between family member's cars etc...  It was so darn nice we got spoiled.  It is one of those boosters made for children 30 lbs or heavier (she's 32 lbs) and 36 inches or taller (she's 38) with a full, supportive back.  The first one I bought (for our trip) was the kind of standard, black Graco model.  When we were at Target on Monday with Ava we decided to pick up a second one for my car.  Ava, of course, immediately spotted the pink Graco booster with butterflies all over it.  And she had to have that one.  And it is the same price as the black one I was planning to buy.  So the black one is in daddy's car and the pink one is in mine.  That thing glows like the sun back there, but she loves it.  Our pediatrician had suggested that we wait until she turned 4, so don't tell him, ok?

Something Ava has recently started that I just don't like at all is biting her nails.  I am a world class hypocrite for even typing that sentence because I have nibbled on my nails as long as I can remember.  Everytime I think I've got the habit licked – that my nails are long-ish manicured and looking pretty I will fall off the proverbial wagon and have to start over.  So the reason I don't like it in Ava is because I don't like it in myself.  And I want her not to go down that road.  I did a little research on line and the advice seems to be to keep children's nails clipped short, give them things to do to occupy their hands in the car and in front of the tv and not make a big deal out of it.  Apparently this is a better idea than the typical conversation we were having about it.

Me:      "Ava, don't bite your nails."

Ava:     "I not"

And repeat

There is also advice against using the icky no bite polish, which makes sense to me.  My sweet girl is a thumb sucker, which I've always found to be a perfectly acceptable soothing mechanism.  I really, really hope the nail biter thing doesn't take hold.

I've been attempting a new rowing skill this summer – learning to scull, or row with two oars.  Prior to this summer I have been exclusively sweep rowing, which is using one oar.  Two oars are both harder and easier.  It is harder because the messages from my brain to my hands can be slow in transmitting and sometimes I find myself almost 'forgetting' I need to use BOTH oars.  It is harder because you have to steer/navigate the boat on your own instead of relying on a coxswain that is present in sweep rowing.  (The cox steers the boat)  But I've been out in the double a number of times, most recently last night, and it is awesome.  It is graceful.  It is easier to work on form and technique.  You utilize both sides of your body.  The boat has a better glide.  Once I build up some confidence I may try rowing the single.  There is a group of women who row together - it is an over 50 boat.  They are awesome in their skills and teamwork.  It gives me such inspiration to know that I can do this the rest of my life, if I choose and only improve.  They competed in an 'open' class race earlier in the season because there wasn't a 'masters or senior' class to row for the race they entered.  They whooped the butt of several college crews. 

Last night when I got home from rowing it was later than I expected to be.  John was looking pretty blotto so I scooped up my Patito and we went to take a bath together. It was pretty funny to watch her delight in having me in the tub with her.  John almost always does her bath...  It got me thinking about how much about her image of her own body she will take from me.  In the past year or so I have inexplicably put on about 5 pounds.  I work out very regularly, 5-6 days per week, rowing, lifting weights, running etc...  My eating habits are decent, not perfect, but pretty good.  I know that if I stopped enjoying red wine, good bread and tasty cheese I could probably shed those 5 pounds and then a few.  But I like those things.  I am stronger than I have ever been and probably fitter than I've ever been. Why that doesn't translate to being thinner than I've ever been probably has to do with the baby, the bread, the cheese, the wine.... I think back to my younger days of being just rail thin and eating a donut for breakfast (washed down with a Mountain Dew) and it doesn't quite all add up.  But, I digress...  floating in the water with my sweet girl last night I looked down at my stomach and felt immediately critical of its slight paunch.  And then I looked at my beautiful, wonderful, amazing daughter and chastised myself for the thought, knowing how much I want her to honor her strength, her body.  And that starts with me.

I have a great book recommendation – for those of you who subscribe to babycenter.com's mailing list you're probably familiar with the 'Bringing up Ben and Birdy' column written by Catherine Newman.  She wrote a book called 'Waiting for Birdy' that I stumbled across in the library. I remember seeing that she had published a book based on her columns and didn't give it much thought.  I figured since I read her columns the book wouldn't add much.  I was wrong, wrong, wrong.... The book is beyond delightful, poignant, honest and funny.  I loved it so much I returned the book to the library and ordered it from amazon.    I do that about three times a year.

We've got a fun weekend coming up and I am finding myself sitting here Friday morning ready to get going.  We're spending this evening with our good friends Jim and Sandra and their daughter Sophia – just hanging out and probably eating some pizza.  Saturday Ava is getting her hair trimmed (because she still wants long hair like a princess) and we have a political event to attend in the late afternoon.  I am also going to row Saturday morning, so it may end up being John who takes Ava to her haircut.  Why does that make me nervous?  Sunday all signs are pointing to a nice day at the pool as we ease into August.  I realize of course that these plans are nothing too earth shattering, but are still so nice to contemplate at the end of a work week.

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading...

--Kate