Kate's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 6/7/07 -------------------- 4/30/07 4/18/07 4/9/07 4/2/07 3/27/07 3/13/07 1/30/07 1/15/07 12/10/06 11/20/06 11/10/06 10/30/06 10/12/06 10/5/06 9/22/06 9/15/06 9/8/06 8/29/06 8/17/06 8/10/06 8/4/06 7/28/06 7/21/06 7/16/06 7/6/06 6/27/06 6/21/06 6/16/06 6/13/06 6/8/06 -------------------- Kate's Introduction

Disappointments, swimming and the flu bug strikes

July 21, 2006

I've been thinking a lot about disappointments lately.  A good friend's husband recently suffered a fairly significant, fairly public professional disappointment and for some reason I almost feel like it happened to me.  Naturally in my own life I've had my share of disappointments and I've endured them through people I care for deeply.  When I think about it there have certainly been those times where, with some perspective, the 'reason' for a big disappointment was made clear.  I'm not terribly fatalistic and I don't tend to subscribe to the 'everything happens for a reason' philosophy.  But on a number of occasions what seems like a significant let down ultimately illuminated a path toward another opportunity and the 'reason' was made clear.  Other times the big disappointment remains a big disappointment.  With the passage of time the pain is less, but the 'reason' never makes sense.  I look at my daughter and know that it is inevitable she will be let down, have her heart broken, have something she desperately wants not come to pass...  I think I would do anything to avoid her having to experience that heartsick feeling, but I hope we are giving her all the tools, all the support to weather those storms and come

through on the other side with perspective, good humor and some grace. 

As you might imagine, Ava is very cunning when she wants something.  Saturday morning at swimming lessons she spotted the one pink noodle (the rest were yellow, purple, green....) provided by the instructors and made a bee line for it. I tried to tell her there were lots of pretty colors, but she only wanted the pink one.  The instructor said not to pick up the noodles yet, we were doing another activity.  But Ava quite literally stood on top of the pink noodle until it was time to pick them up.  She wouldn't do the other activity.  If she couldn't pick up the pink noodle she was going to make certain no one else could get it before her.  It was only a minute or two, but certainly noticeable to the other children and parents.  The thing is, I didn't know if I should applaud her tenaciousness or be embarrassed by her stubbornness.  None of the other kids seemed to care one bit what color their noodles were.  She has a pink noodle at my parent's pool and I am thinking about bringing it to swimming lessons next week to avoid this...

A couple of weeks ago I was at Kohl's buying Ava some new pajamas because she was still mostly wearing cool weather pjs and was out growing them to boot.  While I was there I picked up a princess nightgown off the clearance rack for fun – it was $7, pink, a little tulle, very cute.  And of course, now it is the only pair of pajamas Ava wants to wear.  I was out near Kohl's again yesterday and decided to pop in – they had a couple of similar pjs still on the clearance rack for $7.  One Dora 'princess pajama dress' (as Ava calls it) and one Little Mermaid.  So I bought them both.  You'd wonder why this was the least bit significant to write about here.  On the way home I started wondering if I was over indulging Ava.  Sort of similar to the dress scenario I described recently.... Where's the line between honoring her preference and over indulgence?  I realize that pjs off the clearance rack at a discount store are hardly a luxury item, but I still wonder.  Ava was delighted when I showed her the new nightgowns and carried the Dora one around all night.

Like most of the country we are smack dab in the middle of a wretched heat wave.  The weather is making doing almost anything difficult.  I rowed Monday night and was an absolute puddle when we were done.  For the most part we haven't been venturing outside until the sun is going down.  We've spent even more time than usual at my parent's pool, where Ava is becoming braver by the day.  She is jumping in the water clutching her water noodle without needing to be caught.  (Of course John and I are nearby) She'll paddle around unassisted with a floaty of some type.  It is really fun to see.  Some good friends of my family were over Sunday night and Ava had a grand time showing off all her tricks.  Apparently everything is better with an audience. 

Right now I am trying to make some plans for next week as John is taking off Tuesday for a nearly week long trip to New York for a sailing regatta.  I am very excited for him to have this trip and don't totally mind the idea of some time by myself.  Don't get me wrong, of course I miss him when he's gone, but I think every healthy relationship enjoys some space.  It is certainly made better by the fact that John will be gone doing something he loves to do.  But I have a couple of logistical problems I'm having trouble navigating in taking care of Ava solo for a week....  A board meeting for a board I've been asked to join, rowing, a wedding reception for some friends who just got married.   Nothing insurmountable, but still stuff to sift through.  John and I were joking about the wedding reception I am going with a mutual (male) friend of ours who's significant other is also out of town that weekend.  I joked to John – 'does it bother you that I'm going on a date with Joe?' (With my tongue planted firmly in cheek)  His response?  'Not at all, just remember I get Ava.'  It was somewhat hilarious to me, but it was funny because, frankly, I can't wrap my mind around anything but being his partner.  After our years together, our challenges and rewards I am still 100% certain I am married to the best person I know. 

I started this entry a couple of days ago and in the meantime Ava has come down with a bit of a tummy bug. We're on day two now of what I assume is some type of virus.  Poor thing.  Wednesday night she woke up in the night vomiting around mid-night.  I came in with a towel for her and she took it out of my hands and started dabbing at the mess saying 'I sorry mama.'  It broke my heart in two.  We've had a couple of long days/nights.  I thought she was doing better yesterday – she seemed to rally toward the end of the day eating a little toast and cantaloupe and playing with her toys, but the rally was short lived.  I was home with her yesterday, John is home with her today.  I hope she feels better soon for all kinds of reasons.  We have kind of a fun weekend planned, but obviously we won't push her if she's still battling the tummy bug. 

I think I'll wrap this up, try to finish up the last of the work I have to do and get home quickly to my girl.  Obviously I know John is more than capable of taking good care of her there are times when only a momma will do....

Thanks for reading—

--Kate