Kate's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 6/7/07 -------------------- 4/30/07 4/18/07 4/9/07 4/2/07 3/27/07 3/13/07 1/30/07 1/15/07 12/10/06 11/20/06 11/10/06 10/30/06 10/12/06 10/5/06 9/22/06 9/15/06 9/8/06 8/29/06 8/17/06 8/10/06 8/4/06 7/28/06 7/21/06 7/16/06 7/6/06 6/27/06 6/21/06 6/16/06 6/13/06 6/8/06 -------------------- Kate's Introduction

Here's something while we wait

March 27, 2007

I am certain that if I bothered to research it I could learn that the psychological phenomenon associated with the process of nine months of pregnancy would help me understand why you get to the end of the pregnancy and become so ready to have a baby.  That pregnancy takes nine months for a reason.  I remember this happening in my pregnancy with Ava, where things just started to shift and I went from not being ready to being anxious for her to be born.  That has started earlier this go around and despite my strong desire to be on the other end of pregnancy I still don't want this little one to be born early.  As of today I have a little under three weeks to go.  I do hope they go quickly!

We are growing ever more prepared to welcome this little one into our home.  Her room is done enough that she could comfortably move in.  The carpeting is down, the walls have been painted, the crib is set up, the sheets are on it, some clothes are laundered and waiting and I bought a package of newborn diapers at the store the other day.  There are still things I'd like to have done before the baby arrives, like buying some art for her room.  But we could easily make it work if she decides to make her appearance early.  I started packing a bag for the hospital, although it is far from done.  Here is one place where my prior experience is coming in handy.  Like I am bringing my own pajamas instead of wearing that horrible hospital gown.  Really, there are about 100 pictures of me in that dingy, gross thing.  I want John to stay home with Ava while I'm in the hospital.  For reasons passing all understanding the nurses feel compelled to wake you every hour in the hospital and I feel like at least one of us should be getting a decent nights' sleep before this baby girl starts keeping us up at night.  Plus I think it will be better for Ava to stick as close to her routine as possible. 

To prepare for the process of giving birth this time I am skipping the completely useless child birth education classes offered last time and have read a couple of good books.  The first was "The Birth Book" by Dr Sears and his wife.  The second is "Birthing from Within."  Both are strongly slanted toward an unmedicated, natural as possible birth.  I am taking a lot of good information away from these books, but am trying not to have a preconceived idea of how this is going to go.  My last experience was so, so bad (except for the part where I got to see Ava) that my only real goal is to have a better experience this time.  Maybe that's not entirely true.  I do hope to labor unmedicated until I reach 5-6 cm and stay on my feet as long as possible.  And avoid pitocin at all costs.  My labor with Ava began with my water breaking and I have since learned that is likely why it was so difficult.  My cervix was not softened or open at all and since my water broke I didn't have any 'cushion' so to speak for the process of dilating and contracting. 

At this week's ob appointment they had to do the group B strep swab.  So I was disrobed (from the waist down) and they were there anyway, so I oked the 'check' frankly somewhat reluctantly.  But I can gleefully tell the internet that I am 2 whole centimeters dilated.  I am so oddly relieved.  I think I was 10 hours into labor (with pitocin) before I was 2 cm!  My happy reaction came with a word of caution by the ob saying 'Don't get excited – I've had women walk around 3-4cm dilated for weeks.'  I told him I am not excited because I think I will go into labor sooner – I am excited because my body is already working on this at minimal discomfort to me. 

However, what is uncomfortable to me has been the chronic and persistent insomnia that has been plaguing me for the past several weeks.  While I am kind of over the whole pregnancy thing, I have only gained 24 lbs so far and my 35 year old body is really weathering this process relatively well.  The ob had ok'ed Unisom, which frankly wasn't working very well, so this week I got an RX for Ambien.  I (heart) Ambien.  I slept the sleep of angels the first night I took it.  The sleep you had when you were 7 and you spent the whole day at the pool, came home, played outside all evening, took a bath and fell into the hardest sleep.  I know it won't last, it can't last with a newborn's imminent arrival, but ah it was blissful. I shall never again mock or ridicule the pharmaceutical industry.  Really.  I promise.     

A snap of warming weather has again drawn us outside in the evenings with our outdoor girl.  It is kind of fun to catch up with the neighbors we mostly haven't seen for the past 5 months or so and I love watching Ava tear around outside.  She was laid low this week with what turned out to be strep throat and even with that she still didn't want to miss playing outside.  I am relieved she is feeling better and the weather is staying nice so she keep burning off energy this way.  As usual it seems that Ava is growing older and more clever by the moment.  I had picked up a couple of pairs of leggings at BabyGap for her because I think they are just adorable under dresses (the only thing Ava will wear) on little kids.  (Not so much on 35 year old pregnant women)  I was trying to coax her into a pair Sunday morning, when the weather was slated to be nice, but the morning was still a little chilly.  Nothing doing...  So I said, "Ava, do you want me to take these back to the store?"  She responded with an exasperated tone saying, "Momma, just because I don't want to wear them NOW doesn't mean I don't want them."  Well silly me.

So by no stretch do I think that my life is a TV program or that TV programs are real.  And like about 3/4ths of the country I am a big fan of Grey's Anatomy.  From the start Derek has reminded me a little bit of my husband.  Somewhat similar physically – thick dark hair, gentle manner, similar temperament etc...  This week's episode had a scene early on where Derek is talking to Meredith while she's trying to get some work done on a computer.  He is smelling her hair, breathing her in, kind of distracting her.  John does that with me a lot and I've never seen it from that perspective.  We were sitting on the couch watching and I said 'you do that all the time.'  And his response?  "Because I still feel so damn lucky I can."  This is a good man ....  As we teeter on the edge of another big life change he is so steadfastly by my side that it can be difficult not to occasionally get nervous by how much I have come to take for granted his love, our commitment and our life together. 

It is somewhat embarrassing to admit that I don't have a single belly shot of myself by myself.  John took some pictures of me with my good friend Sandra, who is due two weeks after me.  Somehow it doesn't seem fair to post a picture of her on the internet without her permission, so I will try to get some taken before this babe makes her arrival.  I think I look like an elephant.  I get conflicting nosy comments – some of the 'oh you're so small' variety, others of the 'are you sure you're not having twins' variety.  Harump.

Sorry for the boring entry, but thanks for reading—

--Kate

.