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Bridgett's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 7/2/08 -------------------- 10/22/07 7/19/07 4/21/07 3/13/07 2/20/07 1/6/07 10/25/06 9/6/06 8/28/06 7/25/06 7/12/06 6/26/06 6/14/06 6/5/06 -------------------- Bridgett's Introduction

Happy 9th Birthday Brianna and a little update.....

March 13, 2007

I sit here and write on the eve of Miss Brianna Leigh's 9th Birthday. Its hard to believe that when I started this Journey with iParenting Brianna was only 4.5 yrs old and now she has doubled that and will be 9 yrs old tomorrow. Where has the time gone?  

There is always many mixed emotions at this time of year. Brianna's birthday is of course a time to celebrate, but for me personally it is a time for celebration, reflection and sadness. This past week was a roller coaster emotionally for me.  Last week was the 10 yr anniversary of my Dad's death, would have been his birthday, and also would have been my parents 39th wedding anniversary. There is also a somewhat joyous date in the past week, I say somewhat because divorce should never be something celebrated, but a few days ago was the 17th anniversary of the day I married Brianna's father, so it was a day I look back and be Thankful that I am no longer in the horrible situation I was in 9 yrs ago when Brianna was born.  Those are the reasons I say it is kind of a bitter-sweet time of year.  The day Brianna was born was a very joyous day for me, she was born just a few days after the 1 yr anniversary of my Dad's death and it was also just a short time before the hell I was in with my first marriage, ended. Yes Brianna's father finally decided to leave us just a couple of months after she was born, and it was probably the best favor he could have ever done us. It is sad for any child to have to have their parents seperated, but for Brianna is was a good thing, she never had to experience all the anger and somewhat violence that her two older Brothers did in their short lives  before their father left.

I have always said Brianna was the calm in the storm. She was a very welcomed distraction and reason for celebration when my Mom and family were so sad  experiencing the one year anniversary of my Dad's death. And for me, she was the little person I had to remain calm and collected for in the midst of my divorce.

Brianna was such a tiny little blessing, the smallest of my 3 children to that point, and overall I would have to say the best baby, for the fact that she was the only child to sleep through the night before 1 yr of age. The Lord sure knew what he was doing when he blessed with with her when he did and with the temperment she had.

But needless to say, that temperment is not the temperment I see today. A while back I promised to write an entry about Brianna, so I guess right now there is no time better to do just that.

Little Miss Brianna, and little is exactly what I mean, because she is so very little. At 9 yrs old Brianna is just a tad over 4 foot tall and a mere 45 lbs, petite to say the least. But her attitude is anything but little. Brianna loves to throw her little fits, back talk, down right refuse to do as she is told, and will just flat out do as she pleases as slow as she please, especially when you tell her to hurry.

I was slow doing this as a child, in fact my nickname was molasses, given by one of my best friends. But, I have never known anyone or seen anyone be so slow doing something like getting dressed in the morning.  Brianna goes up stairs to get dressed on a school morning, and 25-30 minutes later I can go up there and she is sitting on the floor in front of her dresser still in her pajamas. Of course when asked what in the world she has been doing, her response is "getting dressed"! That is one of times when I wish I could be a fly on the wall. What in world does she do for that half hr??

On the other hand, Brianna is pretty much a brain! They say 3rd garde is a whole new race when it comes to the work expected of the children. For the first time in their school career they are now getting actual letter grades marking their performances. The first 9 weeks of the school year Brianna brought home Straight A's! Principals list the first time receiving letter grades, what an awesome feet!

Brianna also has everyone outside her family fooled. It seems that most everyone thinks she is just a sweet little angel. And I guess she must be just that when she is around other people, just small and sweet. Last year her teacher did finally start to see the attitude from her a bit after have Brianna in her class for 2 yrs since Mrs. J got to move up with her class the year before. So, I guess if others spend enough time with her Brianna's little horns start to show through! LOL As with many things if you see it enough things start to become clear.

I will say, I truely am just heartbroken over the attitude Brianna has with me.And, the relationship I do not have with her.  At times I think my daughter hates me. She is so mouthy and very cold toward me most of time. She will go to her step-father for help with things before she will come to me. When I found out I had delivered a daughter I was in awe.After 7 yrs of boys, the Lord had blessed me with a beautiful baby girl.  For months I sat there everytime  I nursed her, just dreaming of what it would be like having daugher, a little girl to fuss over and fix up. Well, it never really has been like that with us. There were many issues that interferred many of the dreams I had, the divorce, moving, going back to work and trying to fend for my 3 children and just trying to keep my head above water so to speak, with no help from the man I had been married to for 9 yrs. He had just thrown us away like yesterday's garbage.

This past year for Christmas I bought Brianna a little beginners sewing machine. Sewing is something I hold very dear to my heart and is a trade I learned at a very young age thanks to my dear Grandma down at the Farm. I grew up just up the hill from my Dad's parents and my Dad's mom was an excellent seamstress and taught my sister and I to sew by the time we were about 4 yrs old. Of course back then the only machine she usually let us on was the old treddle machine though. I guess the electric machine was a little to risky at that age! LOL Anyway, I fell that it is now my responsibility to teach my daughter the art of sewing. My Grandma, Brianna's Great Grandma, that taught me to sew has passed on, so I am the one the responsibility lies on to keep the tradition of sewing alive. Once again, I feel like I have been let down. Not once since Brianna got her machine, has she came to me and asked me to show her how to use it or to show/ help her how to make anything. The machine is just tucked away in her closet with all the other toys and things that she wanted to much, but never gets them out and plays with them. She didn't ask me for the machine, but she had over the last couple of years asked me or said something about wanting to learn to sew. Maybe one day soon I will just have to set aside some time and ask her if she would like to make something.

Well the time is late, and I need to be getting to bed. Since I went back to work the first of the year my rear is just dragging at night. So, I will end for now and try to be back real soon!

Thanks for stopping by and reading! Feel free to come by my TTM forum over on the discussion boards, here's the link:     http://interact.iparenting.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=6039

UNTIL NEXT TIME................

God bless,
Bridgett and Crew