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Home › Diaries › Donna › December 11, 2006

Donna's Diary Entries

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12/11/06 – Cookie exchange, more 3-year-old behavior, and finally some news on our sunroom

December 11, 2006

I started this entry last week, but didn't have any pictures downloaded to include, so here I am finally with a new entry!  Justin and I went to a cookie exchange yesterday.  I made chocolate caramel chip cookies, and we all went home with six dozen cookies.  Even though I am picky about which ones I like, I love going to these parties because they are fun.  Justin as usual had a great time playing with the other kids that were there.  This morning I put half of my cookie assortment into a plastic holiday bucket for Justin's school.  I give them cookies every year for Christmas.

Well, apparently I spoke too soon about Justin's wonderful behavior.  This is now over three years that we have been dealing with some form of nonstop crying, tantrums, or defiance.  I mean literally it started the second night in the hospital, waking every hour and crying.  It seems like as soon as some things get easier, others get harder.  God is testing me and I am trying hard to be the best Mom I can.  I am keeping a gratitude journal because I know that I will miss these days even though they are so difficult.  But I find that if I don't write things down soon after I think of them, they are overshadowed by the struggles and tantrums of the day, and by evening I can't remember anything good that may have happened.  It certainly makes me wonder how I ever thought I wanted another baby.  I clearly still have one and can barely deal with him at times.  Let's see if I can list the highlights of what we're having a hard time with lately:

 - Refusal to do simple things like getting ready in the morning.  He will just lay on the floor and scream that no he does not want to go potty, brush teeth, etc.

 - Getting a drink, so he can take sips and spit it on the floor or wherever else he wants to, or purposely spilling things onto the floor.  Screams and has terrible fit if I take it away.

 - Throwing and kicking toys around on the floor, and throwing things at us.  He can throw something from across the room and hit me in the head.  This is sometimes done when he is angry, but even when he isn't, he thinks it is hilarious.

 - Punishments, such as time out or taking things away, has little or no effect.  He may scream and carry on, but still goes back and does the same things, over and over and over again.  Does not learn from discipline, and he is a very smart kid.

 - The two-hour (or more) fight nearly every night at bedtime.  Between trying to get his teeth brushed and getting him to actually go to sleep, the only pleasant part of the bedtime routine is reading books.  And even during that, he will sometimes jump around, bouncing, throwing things, pulling my hair, running out of the room and down the hall.

 - Saying he wants to do one thing and then another, back and forth.  Example, I want toast for breakfast, I make toast and he screams no I want cereal, and this is all before we have to leave for school and work and trying to hurry and get ready, running late.

I am sure there are some things I forgot to mention, because now that I am here at work, I don't think about it so much as when I'm right in the midst of it.  All that said however, I love him very much and I wish I could be more patient with him.  This behavior makes me really angry sometimes, and I know he needs calmness, because he already has anger issues of his own.  Is all this normal?  While every child is different and not having much to compare to, I think these things are normal for a 3-year old, perhaps at the high end of normal.  All I can do is my best and pray that we can still be a close family in spite of the challenges that we are given.

So the sunroom construction is finally starting!  It has been over two months since signing the contract, and the plans took six weeks with the architect, but it is finally happening.  We are not the most patient people in the world either.  I have taken some pictures; maybe I will post a couple in another entry.  Now that they have started, it seems to be moving along pretty quickly.  The foundation was finished last week, and I think they are working on the walls and glass this week.  I know I am such a dork, but this is all exciting to me.

Thanks for reading,
Donna and Justin

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