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March 25, 2003
Where do I start?
With Charles, Alyssa, or with Sarah? How about Chuck and I ? How about how we are FINALLY moving and my new job? Our new church? How Jeanette convinced me to use cloth diapers? Extended nursing? (I know you're all thinking I should have just kept a breastfeeding diary right?!) LOL Hmmmm....maybe I'll just whip up a few entries over the next few days!
*New house = New Baby?!
Yep, you heard right! LOL! Waaaaaay back when I was pregnant with Sarah, we bought our first house! Yippee! And yes, if you did the math quickly, you'll see that was over a year and a half ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a COMPLETE remodel, needing a new furnace (complete with duct work), plumbling, bathroom, electrical overhaul, flooring, chimney work...I could go on and on.....It was gutted by DH, and all that basically remained was a shell! We were gung ho for a while, Chuck working on it steadily.....and then......Sarah was born. I never went back to work, we ran out of money, and the house sat. And sat. And sat. And sat some more. Empty. In the meantime, we continued to get on with our lives, day by day, all the while, paying for two houses to be kept up, and never having anything extra. Well, I guess that was a sacrifice I was willing to make.....with Sarah being my last baby, I will never regret being home with her and having no money, lol! I still worked at the hospital per diem (some nights and weekends while Chuck was home with the kids) but we were never ahead of the game. Yep, this last year was a struggle, and I won't care to repeat it anytime soon.
So here we are, at the start of Spring with renewed spirits and so many things going on!!! It's so exciting, but overwhelming all at the same time. I think I have started to have panic attacks. The other night, I was just sitting, nursing Sarah and the room got reallllly fuzzy, I was short of breath and thought I was going to faint. My heart started palpating and I was all clammy. This has happened a few times since, all I can think of is everything going on is finally catching up with me? I have felt better in the last few days, but my mind is still swimming with everything that needs to be done.
The renovations on the house are just about complete......and our move will coincide with my return to work. Great timing? Sure! :-( My boss offered me a 20 hour position from 5am-9am. (I work in a hospital lab, drawing blood) How can I refuse? I do need to work and this is a God send. How can it get any better? Home by 9:15am and no nights or weekends? I nervously accepted. This means Chuck cannot go to work before I get home and he must get Charles and Lyssie ready for school. We have to do what we have to do right? Chuck went solo as a contractor last year, so we, as a family, can have lots of flexibility. We must start taking advantage of it. I'm just freaking out, envisioning Sarah waking up and screaming for me as I am trying to get ready for work at 4am, also, the kids getting up for school late......I sure hope everything goes smoothly. It's really on my mind all the time. I just want to get the first few weeks over with!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I am not making much sense here....but, HOW the house is almost done is another huge story in itself, as is me having to return to work. But, I guess for now, this little update will have to do! I promised Charles homemade cupcakes for afterschool and I better get busy!
See you SOON!
Love, Tricia (mom of 3!)
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