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Too Much of a God Thing
When Faith Divides Families
By Laura Cone
Some parents might think themselves lucky to have a teenager who is more interested in praying than dating. They might feel fortunate their teenagers are out late attending a worship service rather than a rock concert. But what if your teenager wants to join a religious sect that is different than your own? What if your teenager becomes judgmental toward you? What if he or she is going door-to-door proselytizing new converts? Worse, yet, what if your teen never comes home?
It might sound hard to believe that a love of God could cause such turmoil, but experts know differently, and through their experiences and the wisdom of others, you can keep your teen safe and your family intact.
As a father of four children and pastor of Water's Edge, a nondenominational Christian church, The Rev. Tracy Bannister of Tampa, Fla., expects his children will flirt with other religious ideas. Ultimately, he anticipates his children, including his 13-year-old daughter, the oldest, will stay with the Christian faith.
"She has grown up in the church, been involved in church – and because of that – I think she has a good understanding and foundation in Christianity and Christian beliefs," Bannister says. "I would expect at some point in the next few years that she may start having additional questions. I've seen over and over with students I've worked with in youth ministry that when students reach their sophomore or junior year of high school, it's a time of really transitioning from childhood to young adulthood. Even if they have grown up in a particular faith, they start questioning it."
Bannister says most teenagers do a lot of soul searching before adopting the same beliefs as their parents. But what if your teenager's soul searching leads to not agreeing with the family religion? "If the parents are strongly rooted in a particular faith, it can become a real battleground that can divide the family," he says.