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Plan a Couples-only Vacation
It's Good for You!
By Heather Johnson Durocher
"If the parents vacation as a couple, it's actually going to help the child because they're going to be happier around the child when they return," says Robert R. Butterworth, Ph.D., a Los Angeles, Calif.-based psychologist.
For Isaac and Minda Farbowitz of Teaneck, N.J., a short vacation to Puerto Rico when their son, Eric, was 4 months old was the perfect retreat. "We hadn't gone away in about one year, and we wanted to wait until he was 4 months old to go away," remembers Isaac Farbowitz. "We knew that we would need a few days to relax and refresh, so we thought that a long weekend would do the trick – and it did."
Part of what makes leaving a child behind so difficult is the guilt many parents feel about enjoying themselves without their little one present, explains Butterworth. Fear of something terrible happening to the baby while they're gone or how others might perceive them for leaving their baby often triggers those guilty feelings in parents, Butterworth says. What parents need to remember is they're allowed to be a little selfish now and again, he says. "There's no law that says once you have a baby, you can't get away," he says. "Parents need to build in time for fun and not feel guilty."
Amy Nelson, a St. Paul, Minn. mother of two, reminded herself of this as she and her husband prepared for a trip overseas last year. The couple's first child, 1-year-old Isabel, stayed with grandparents and a daycare provider for the five nights the Nelsons were gone. "When we first booked the trip, I was really confident that she would do fine, and we would be so busy that the loneliness and guilt wouldn't be too bad," Nelson says. "But about a month before we left, it really hit me how difficult it would be to leave her."