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When Friendship
Becomes Unhealthy
Saying "Goodbye" to Toxic Friends By Shannon McKelden
The last straw came when the "support" of this friend began to feel not so supportive. Cook tried to share the news of a job she had applied for. "Her reply shocked me," Cook says. "Although I cannot repeat it verbatim, in essence she said it was stupid, why would I want to do it, [wasn't] there something else I could make better money at."
If you realize you tend to gravitate toward toxic friendships, Dr. Davis suggests slowing down and doing some self-examination to see if perhaps you are contributing to the problem, especially if the situation repeats itself and upsets you. You may address the problem by talking to a good friend or two people you trust and respect.
"Listen to their perceptions of your behavior and how it feels for them,"Dr. Davis says. "If they give you feedback that you can use ... think good and hard about it."
According to Dr. Davis, you can change toxic friend-attracting behaviors. For instance, she suggests avoiding passivity, which may encourage others to always be the dominant party in your relationship.
Debbie Mandel, a stress management specialist and author of the book Turn on Your Inner Light