- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- moms today articles
- moms today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Tabloid Love vs. Real Love
6 Steps to Make the Most of Your Relationship
: Is my life so limited that I can't function without him/her for a few hours? It's time for me to take responsibility to create more balance in my life so that I don't feel empty and needy when he/she is not around.
3. Handle the neediness.
Neediness is an emotion created by fear and is one of the prime destroyers of love. Neediness causes us to protect ourselves at the expense of our mates, to close our hearts, to judge our mates and blame them for our unhappiness. But when we feel strong and whole, we can be "safely vulnerable," always knowing that no matter what happens we will handle it all. In this way, our neediness disappears and our ability to love with a sense of confidence and joy radiates throughout our beings. We become a magnet to a truly wonderful relationship. 4. Become the mate you want your mate to be.
First make a list of all the characteristics you want your mate to have. It could look like this: loving, thoughtful, warm, considerate, caring, appreciative, romantic, generous. Now for the big challenge: Pick up the mirror and begin developing these qualities in yourself. You may be someone who resists this challenge. But how can we ask our mates to be something we have been unwilling to be ourselves? Trust me when I tell you that incorporating all these loving qualities within our own beings can dramatically alter the thoughts and actions of our mates. 5. Validate your mate.
We have to learn to notice and openly express thanks for the beautiful things our mates do for us. (And if you can't find anything to thank him or her for, then why are you there?) It makes our mates feel so good when we let them know the things we appreciate about them. And it encourages them to continue doing beautiful things. Remember that every relationship has its good and every relationship has its bad. By focusing on the bad, we starve. By focusing on the good, we thrive. So don't let another day pass before you say, "Thank you. I love you." Say it today – and say it often.