Goodbye, Bah Humbug!
8 Ways to Reclaim the Holiday Spirit
By Sue Marquette Poremba
Don't send cards during the December holiday. Instead, send them for another, less-hectic holiday. Spend lots of time together in the weeks leading up to the holidays. "We cut and decorate the tree together, make cookies (when it happens!), go to plays and the market," says Joanne Cook of Halifax, Nova Scotia. "Any more togetherness, and we'd be glued." Designate a day during the holiday season that will be for your family only. On that day, say no to company and don't visit anyone else. Use the day to rest and recover. Have a cookie-baking day where each member of the family makes his or her favorite kind of cookie. Focus on the spiritual aspect of the holiday, rather than the commercial aspects. Every family – every individual – defines holiday stress differently. Whereas one person may find writing holiday cards to be a stressful, time-consuming chore, someone else considers it a joyous part of the season. You do what is best for you and best for your family.
"I learned not to stress out about most of it," says Cook. "I was terribly ill last Christmas, and that taught me what was essential – being alive – versus what was desirable – everything else. I see no point in celebrating a holiday if it's not a time for rest, reflection and fun."
| Too much focus on the children, the in-laws and other holiday obligations, makes for a miserable spouse. Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver and author of 12 Hours to a Great Marriage: A Step-by-Step Guide for Making Love Last (Jossey-Bass, 2003), has the following suggestions for finding special time with your spouse:  Hug your partner before leaving home every day during the month of December. Call or e-mail your partner every day and say, "I am thinking of you," during the holiday season. Plan a date for just the two of you and make it happen during the month. Don't wait till next Christmas or Hanukah; give your partner a gift that both of you can enjoy. Set a meeting to talk about your expectations for the coming year. Talk about where problems have occurred in the past, and plan ahead together for how to prevent or anticipate these problems. Set a time to relieve everyday stress by giving each other a back rub or a massage. Hold your partner's hand, and pay special attention to him or her at holiday and office parties and whenever you are together. Think about all the couples and families who can't be together, such as partners who are overseas on business or in the military, and have your family think about them during the holiday season. | |
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