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When Toddlers Bite ... Their Nails
Tips on Breaking the Nail-biting Habit
By Amy Henry
For many parents, nail biting ranks high on the list of their toddler's or preschooler's least charming habits. Anxious to put an end to the nibbling, they wonder what prompts this behavior, what health risks it poses and how best to dissuade their child from what can seem like his or her favorite pastime.
The first step, experts agree, is for parents to take a deep breath and relax. Rarely is nail biting a symptom of some deeper emotional distress, as many parents fear. "For a majority of children, biting their nails is a resourceful way to manage when they're bored or frustrated," says Dr. Tamar E. Chansky, founder and director of the Children's Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, Pa., and author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety (Broadway, 2004). She notes that most kids outgrow the habit as they learn more sophisticated ways of dealing with their feelings.
As in much else, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when it comes to nail biting.
For Jeri,* an Alabama mom, the "a ha" moment came when she and her husband realized their daughter, then 4, had picked up the nail biting habit from Dad. Kids are great imitators, so parents need to be mindful of their own habits, Dr. Chansky says. It's the perfect opportunity to say, "I want to do something else with my fingers now," she notes. Then ask the child, "What could I do?"
Noting when and where your child nibbles her nails can provide clues about the cause and suggest effective solutions. TV time and car trips tempt nail-biters because their hands are both idle and available. Nail biting also tends to occur in situations that are more adult oriented, such as a visit with the parents' friends. "You're enjoying conversation with guests, but the child grew bored a half hour ago," Dr. Chansky says.