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In a Party-pooper Mood
An Essay About Friendship By Jenn Director Knudsen
I'd naively believed a real, forever friendship could last beyond an action such as mine. And I fervently still believe it should have. But a friendship like a marriage takes at least two to make it work. Ours was not to endure.
And now that I'm noting these former friends' upcoming birthdays occasions otherwise marked by joy, fun, giving, receiving, lots of baking and a night out I'm in a more melancholy, reflective and even spiritual mood.
And I mean good friends. I've approached more cautiously those with whom I seek to become friends; I never want to feel as hurt by a friendship as I did earlier this year.
And I hope eventually to pass along to my own daughters what I've taken away from this gut-wrenching experience: Making friends and being a good, true one are key to being a happy, fulfilled adult. So is carefully approaching friendships, to avoid being so vulnerable that a "friend" can fill an entire year or more with deep sadness.
In a book my youngest, a 2-year-old, loves, friends and stuffed animals gleefully gather for a tea party. A whimsical story, it ends with a stark profoundness. It's a quote from the Bible's Book of Proverbs 17:17. Until recently that quote seemed too somber, so I used to skip over it.
But I don't skip it anymore. I now finish off the book as it was intended, reading aloud the final sentence:
"A friend loves at all times."